


Life after the Massacre

by jessie_5_c



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 10+kids, Children, Emori is the chancellor of this moon, F/F, F/M, Family, M/M, Murphy stays at home to raise the kids, POV John Murphy (The 100), Parent John Murphy (The 100), Protective John Murphy (The 100) - Character, Yes i'm crazy, but it's already finished so don't worry, it covers over 15 years, this story is going to be long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 62,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27494479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessie_5_c/pseuds/jessie_5_c
Summary: Murphy and Emori and Sanctum. What will life bring for them after the massacre? Expect love, drama and fun. And lots and lots of kids.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Echo, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Hope Diyoza & Jordan Jasper Green, Octavia Blake/Levitt
Comments: 31
Kudos: 34





	1. I’d choose him.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oakleyfraser4](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakleyfraser4/gifts).



> Fully canon compliant until 7x9. After that it’s a bit of both, Canon and AU.   
> Let me just give you some pointers: 
> 
> Sanctum Storyline picks up exactly at the ends 7x9, so no Hiding in the Reactor, no Killing of CoGs, no Sheidheda or Memori ever leaving Sanctum or meeting Cadogan. But Memori are still loved very much by the kids, they had protected even before 7x9. 
> 
> Trey and Alyssa survived. Jerry died and Rex and Lee are both his sons, bare with me I was confused by all the Sanctum kids but I liked my head canon confusion enough to continue it for this fanfiction. 
> 
> Diyoza still dies on Bardo exactly the same way it happened in 7x10, let‘s just say 7x10 Bardo is canon! 
> 
> Bellamy never went to Etherea or became a Diciple. He was somewhere with Gaia, they returned and all is fine. Expect no explanation. But he‘s alive. Gabriel as well. 
> 
> Time Dilation is so unconsistant in the show so I make my own rules here that I will follow trough for the entire fanfiction:  
> 1 Day on Sanctum (Nakara, Earth) = 2 Months (60D) on Bardo (Etherea) = 120 Years (1140M or 34.200D) on Skyring
> 
> And now: Please have fun as Emori and Murphy start they journey of making a ton of special sweet children.
> 
> A special thanks goes out to Oakleyfraser4, who beta-read a lot for me and gave me ideas and pointers, whenever I needed some! Thank you so much!

2 Hours after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
It had been Indra who finally ended Sheidheda with a gunshot through his head. Emori and Murphy hadn’t been with her. Emori still sat on the steps in front of the closed doors to the palace dinner hall, like a watchdog guarding the dead bodies inside. Murphy watched her from the other side of the hallway. The blame radiated from Emoris body, her eyes were wet with unshed tears and it was a wonder she wasn’t running off to the woods to hide. Murphy was still wondering if, now that Sheidheda was no more, they’ll finally get a day of peace in Sanctum. Remembering how Nikki and Nelson went nuts, he supposed not. So, what happened after just baffled him. He stood off to the side while people came into the hallway, first the Sanctumites, then the Children of Gabriel and finally even some people of Wonkru and some lonely convict named Bobby. All were seeking out Emori to ask her: ask her how they could make themself useful, such as carrying away the dead, cleaning the hall, or digging graves. Emori sat up straighter with every person that came to her and suddenly she stood, on top of the second step so she was just able to look everyone in the eye. She was handing out tasks like she had anything and everything to say around here. Somewhere in between watching her do her newfound job, Murphy noticed Indra standing next to him and nodding approvingly.   
“She’ll never be their commander," Indra said, “But right now she is giving them what they need.” When Murphy looked at her questioningly, she elaborated: “Something to do to get their minds of all the chaos.”  
So Emoris little leadership role was temporary, nothing to worry about. That was why Murphy made his way to the small crowd and gave her that little clipboard, that she had been carrying around for days, and a pen. She needed it if she was planning a burial.   
  
  
  
  
3 Days after the Massacre of Sanctum   
  
It wasn’t a temporary thing at all. Emori was doing nothing but planning, answering questions and handing out tasks. She had barely slept and if it hadn’t been for Murphy she certainly wouldn’t have eaten a damn thing. He was just about to bring her some fruit bread when he heard people calling loudly from the borderlines of Sanctum. What was going on yet again?   
  
When Murphy made his way to the fields, he saw people emerging from the woods. Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Echo, Octavia, all of their friends that had been missing and a couple dozen of white clothed people, some of them still kids and even one toddler if Murphy could trust his eyes.  
“They are going to live with us”, Clarke said and Octavia added, while holding hands with one of the foreigners: “They are our people too now.”   
Murphy just shrugged. He left it to Indra to explain what had been going on in Sanctum and listened as Clarke topped off their chaos with whatever crazy things happened on other planets. Murphy stopped listening when they explained how the crazy cult leader who build that Second Dawn Bunker 200 years ago, was still alive, searching for some stupid key to fight so stupid war. Strange story, he’d thought, and went looking for Emori. She needed food and sleep and now that Clarke was back Emori could finally step down from leading that crazy melting pot of sanctum.   
  
  
2 Weeks after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Only Emori wasn’t stepping down from playing President or Heda or Queen of the Castle or whatever she thought she was. Don’t get him wrong; Murphy saw how great she was doing and he saw how much all those people were looking for her guidance, but Murphy just didn’t fully got how that happened. And he hadn’t been alone with his fiancée for more than a couple of minutes in the past weeks. As soon as she came to their room, she was fast asleep and she was up and around long before the sun woke him up.   
Just yesterday Murphy had gone to the farmhouse to ask Clarke why she was hiding in there instead of doing what she always did. And if Clarke wouldn't why couldn’t Bellamy or Octavia step in instead? Indra would also be a great idea, he thought. And he told them so. But all of them looked at him like he was crazy, while they were sitting around the big table eating soup.   
“We haven’t told Emori to do that, Murphy," Bellamy said, “Don’t be angry at us.”   
“I’m not ..., “ Murphy started, then stopped and started anew. “I’m angry. It’s not her job. She shouldn’t shoulder that. You were always doing that leader-shit.”   
“She’s great at it," Clarke said while petting the freaking dog. Murphy just slumped onto the one free stool left around the table.   
“At least your army of clones aren’t bugging her too," he said with a sigh.   
“They aren’t clones," Octavia chided him, a tad bit annoyed, but without the edge he remembered her always carrying on the tip of her tongue before. Murphy still didn’t get how she was more than 10 years older now. How all of them were at least 1 year older, while in Sanctum only a couple of days had gone by. What a strange world.   
“They will do their part. We all will," Clarke explained. “We just situated them around the farmhouse for now, so they won’t be overwhelmed.”   
“It’s still hard for us," said Octavia's new beau, while offering Murphy an odd smile. Yeah, yeah, he knew they were still learning this shit. Smiling and so. What fun.   
Indra shoved away her empty soup container. "You’re right, she was never supposed to be their commander. I‘ll think about it.“  
  
  
  
6 Weeks after the Massacre of Sanctum   
  
Indra thought about it. The outcome though, wasn’t really what Murphy had in mind. Somehow Indra had been chatting all around Sanctum and came up with the stupid idea of an election.   
“We need someone to guide us," she had said in front of every single person above the age of fourteen residing in and around Sanctum. “Every one of you is going to write a name on a piece of paper and whoever has the majority will lead us for the next three years until we will elect again.”   
Emori came out as the first Chancellor of Sanctum with 512 of 626 votes. Not at all what Murphy had in mind.   
  
Later that night, for the first time in weeks, they lay next to each other in bed, almost naked because of the heat wave that had come upon Sanctum just a couple of days ago. Murphy was kinda bummed about it. Too hot to do anything, even each other.   
“You can’t leave me," Emori told him, out of the blue.   
“What?” he replied, dumbfounded but too exhausted by the heat to move anything more than his eyes. He watched her from the side.   
“I said...” she started again but Murphy interrupted her. “Why should I leave you?!”  
“You’ve done it before. On the Ring.”  
“Just to keep by the truth, ‘Mori. You left me.”  
Emori huffed in annoyance but Murphy found her sweet either way. He would totally be doing her now, if he could just get his tired and heated muscles to move.   
“Be it as it may," Emori said - where the hell had she learned to talk like a diplomat? “You can’t leave me because I need you. And I’m pregnant.”   
Now that got his muscles to move. He sat up in bed abruptly and looked at her like she was crazy.   
“What?”   
“I’m not telling you everything twice, John.” Murphy barked out a laugh.   
“Bossy now, Miss Chancellor?” He teased and leaned forward to kiss her nose and then her naked belly. How could he have missed the little bump that she had developed, even if she had nearly never time to eat enough. Wait, was she crazy? Being pregnant and not eating was a mighty bad combination, even Murphy knew that, so he got off the bed, despite the heat and all, and ran down to the tavern after kissing Emori again and telling her he would be back in an instant.   
He got her some fruits and cookies that stood on the counter but when Delilah's Mom saw him searching for food, she came by and asked, “Can I get you anything?”  
“We are getting a baby," he babbled, before he knew what he was doing. “And Emori needs...”  
“Oh well. Congratulations.” Miss Workman smiled at him, just a tad bit sad thinking about her own dead daughter. “Let me get something for you.”   
  
  
  
  
6 Months and 3 Weeks after the Massacre of Sanctum   
  
Emori had been rocking the hell out of being pregnant and working at the same time. She had her own office - just the backroom of the tavern for now - since the palace still needed to be rebuilt and nobody had any clue what it should be after that. They certainly had no use for a palace. But that was no priority either way. Housing for all had begun, though it would still take years until everyone had their own place to live, as well as a small hospital that Clarke and Jackson were running with the help of Niylah and some other women of Sanctum and Bardo. Murphy was proud of Emori as he sat in Clarke's hospital looking down at the sweetest thing they’d ever made. His son, Lex, named after his grandfather Alex and maybe even a bit in remembrance of Lexa. Clarke had certainly looked at them with wet eyes after they announced the name a few minutes ago. He was glad she wasn’t angry but instead moved by the sentiment.   
  
They stayed for one night longer in the hospital but Emori and Lex were as well and good as a mother and a baby could be. She had been taken aback just a moment after looking at Lex's second belly button and his split little earlobe, looking at Murphy as if she thought he had anything bad to say about it. Murphy thought it was special and just made him even sweeter so he kissed both little mutations of his son and then Emoris badass hand.   
“He’s perfect," he said, stroking over his small head. The blond down was soft below his fingertips. Lex was so little. Emori grinned as big as she could.   
  
Back in their room in the half burned down palace, most of their friends came by to say hello to the baby. Octavia, heavily pregnant herself, and her still-completely-dressed-in-white boyfriend were among the first.   
“Levitt needs to see this," she said and sat down on the couch in the corner of the room. Octavia was even smaller than Emori and older, what fun, so the pregnancy wasn’t as easy on her. Murphy brought over the baby for Levitt to watch and learn.   
“He looks like our babies, except..." Now Mr. White Guy was watching Lex split ear, “We would have corrected that prior to birth.”   
“Don’t listen to him," Murphy said quietly to his son, not really angry because Levitt couldn’t know better and he was here to learn. "He doesn’t know shit.”   
“Don’t talk like that in front of the baby,“ Emori chided him from her place in the rocking chair. It was mighty sweet that one of the convicts, Bobby, who played carpenter, had made it especially for her.   
  
“Did I offend it?” Levitt asked.   
“Him. It’s a kid, not an object," Octavia explained kindly, shifting her body a bit to take a closer look at Lex and commented with a cheeky smile, that made her look way younger than she was.   
“Sweet," she touched her own earlobe. “Makes him edgy. Fits you two.”   
  
\- -

Murphy really liked to hold his son. Lex smelled sweet, like warm sugary milk, soft cotton. Underneath the sweetness he smelled like Emori did, back before she started washing herself with flowery soap. Emori had smelled like the desert, warm and vast and full of promises. Lex was tiny. Not exactly smaller than any regular baby, as Jackson told him, but to Murphy he felt really really small, even weeks after he was born. There was nobody in this world more important to protect than his little son. 

When he had finally let go of his sleeping son, leaving him softly snoring in his crib by the bed, Murphy crawled beneath the blankets. Emori was already there, her gaze still lingered on Lex, but when Murphy grabbed her badass hand, she looked at him.  
„Fatherhood looks very good on you,“ she said before nuzzling into his shoulder. She was soft and sweet those days, like the birthing had made her even more tender, more gentle than she already was before. Murphy still remembered her, suspicious and alone in the desert. She had fascinated him from the very first second. Murphy was glad he had been witness to her become the woman she was now. Emori had learned to trust, to love. It had been her back on the Ring who told them that it was nice to eat with a family. It had slipped and she had been petrified of their reaction, but Bellamy had taken her words and declared them true. They made something much bigger out of their group of misfits. Murphy still blamed Emoris heart for getting brothers and sisters. Sanctum had softened her again. She was a badass politician, which was way hotter than he had expected - but she was gentle. She cared about her people, about all people. Emori cared about humanity. Who would have thought looking at the lonely girl in the desert? But for real, who would have thought, Ark Prisoner John Murphy could ever be a man to cuddle his baby for hours on a moon lightyears away from Earth.  
„Look at you, ‘Mori,“ he said, kissing her head, willing her go look up him „Hottest Mom of the Universe.“  
She lightly slapped his naked chest - what, a baby needed skin on skin, he read that in some old book while Emori had been pregnant.  
„I love him so much,“ Emori said after some louder breath of their son, slowly looking up at Murphy.  
„Yeah, me too,“ Murphy offered, softly stroking over Emoris back. He pecked her cheek in a sudden burst of affection. „Thank you.“  
„What … uhm,“ she stopped, before siting up to better be able to look at him. She was softly scratching his arm. It felt nice. „What are you thanking me for?“  
„For birthing him, I guess.“  
„You guess?“  
„Yeah,“ Murphy sat up to, he studied Emoris face, tired but oh so overflowing with hormones that made her happy. He was happy too. Unbelievably so! „You are the best thing that happened to me!“  
„Oh John,“ Emori said and suddenly there were tears in her eyes. Hormones, as he said. “I gotta tell you something.“  
„You can‘t be pregnant again,“ he joked. He wanted her to laugh at him, to playfully slap him. They just started being intimate again a couple of days ago. Emori had to heal, even though the pregnancy and birth had been easy, as she put it. Murphy just thought she was a badass queen for doing all of that.  
„I‘m not,“ she sniffled and grabbed his hand. „I … if it was ever a question of saving you or Lex … I would choose Lex, John. I‘m so sorry.“  
„Do we need saving, ‘Mori?“ First things first. He had to make sure both of them were safe and sound. That was the most important task of his life.  
„No, but John. Don‘t you listen? I love him more.“ She was grabbing his shoulders, suddenly crying. For a moment Murphy didn‘t knew if she needed consoling or just chocolate. Cake really helped her mood swings by the end of her pregnancy.  
„As you should, baby. Shh,“ Murphy said, rubbing her arms in a soothing motion. „I want you too.“  
„Honestly?“  
„Of course.“ Emori knew about his past. About the way his mom started hating him after his father died. Murphy wanted nothing more than for Emori to love Lex more than him. If that would ensure him forever being protected by her, Murphy was fully on board.  
„But …“  
„No, buts. You love me right?“  
„Yes, you know I do. I will love you forever. You know, right?“  
„Yeah, ‘course I do, ‘Mori.“  
„But I‘d choose him.“  
„Me too,“ he said, surprising himself. But it was true. He couldn‘t really pinpoint if he loved Lex more than Emori but if it ever came to the choice, he knew exactly who he‘d safe first. Emori nodded. He hoped she would stop feeling bad about how much she loved their little son. There was nothing to be sorry for. He kissed her head, lucky to have found her in the wide wide desert more than a century ago. Murphy hugged her to his chest, kissing her head, before letting himself fall back into the cushions. Emori fell with him, their bodies pressed closely together, they noses almost touching by the way her chin was propped on his breastbone.  
„Are we good parents?“ she asked in a whisper.  
„The best,“ Murphy grinned sure they did this shit right - parenting came almost naturally, who would have thought. He caressed Emoris back, slowly opening her BH. When she sad up, he started to run his hands over her breast, grinning up at her when he started himself to harden against her backside.  
„Let‘s make some more, yeah?“ he said, before grabbing her in a heated kiss, still grinning because he was fucking happy with the life they had.


	2. Watching is for cowards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Chapter, so be ready for more fluff, more babies, more characters and some sweet tears. You will see healing is going to take a long way. 
> 
> Have I told you I love Sanctum? No. You will see.

1 Year, 5 Months and 1 Week after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Otis and Olive had been a surprise. They weren’t really planning to get pregnant so soon again after Lex was born, despite Murphys jokes. But both of them had been relishing in the few weeks they had just for their new little family of three, while all of their friends took over most of Emori's tasks, to give her time to rest. They hadn’t rested that much, evidently by those sweet little newborns lying in a big crib in front of the bed. Bobby, their favorite convict, was getting better and better at his woodworks.   


Murphy looked at his new son and daughter. Except for their special spot, both looked quite alike, light brown skin, their little hair just a tone darker. It was fun how each of his three kids had some little beautiful flaw that made them special. Olive's left hand was much smaller than her right one and she was missing her thumb. Her eyes were unique too; one blue and one the same shade of brown as her brothers. Otis had a scarred spot just starting at his left cheekbone down to his chin, and no wonder they were thinking of Otan while naming him.   
  
This time Bellamy and Echo were the first ones to visit them. Echo's hair had grown longer but she still wasn’t back to the woman they knew from the Ring. Maybe she would never be. The Bardoans really fucked with her head, but she still had Bellamy. Murphy knew that being loved wasn’t a cure to every pain but it certainly made fighting to get better more worthwhile. He looked again at the twins and at Lex who was sitting on his blanket on the floor playing with some plushy little animals one of the Santumite woman makes for the kids. The outcome was worth the long road of redemption. Echo might have a lot to redeem herself for though. Murphy knew that she killed a lot of Bardoans to make way for their escape from Bardo.   
  
Bellamy was looking at Murphy expectantly. Whenever he had been around, he had been carrying Lex just as much as he was always towing his little niece, Octavia daughter Lilli who was born just a few months after Lex, around Sanctum. Murphy knew Bellamy longed to be a father and he loved kids like crazy, but it would be a long way for Echo still. Murphy hadn’t been sure, after they first came back from Bardo, if they could last. They found each other again in the darkest of places, just like they promised but it had taken years for Echo - she aged 6 years in just a Sanctum week and was now older than Bellamy - and in her hurt she lost herself. Murphy took Otis and put him in Bellamy's waiting arms, along with a small bottle of some mixed milk made of formula. The Bardoans made crazy shit but it certainly helped them, now that three babies needed to be fed and Emori was once again up and around planning new houses and the compound where some of the Children of Gabriel-Guys were supposed to raise livestock to decrease the need to hunt.   
“Want a go at it too, Echo?”, Murphy asked casually. Since Emori wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours he was glad to have - partly - helpful company.   
“I’ll watch," Echo said as expected, but when Bellamy looked up from petting Otis dark fluff of hair, like a hurt puppy, Murphy decided to be a little shit. He took his daughter to place her on Echo's lap. Echo looked startled, the corner of her mouth turning into a frown, but she grabbed for Olive to hold her a bit steadier on her lap. Her gaze turned softer. It was a look he remembered from the Ring. She had looked at him like that when he once again tapped out after being crushed by her fighting skills. Murphy wondered, if she still felt for him like a little brother. Bellamy had proclaimed them family and Murphy still saw a sister, when he looked at her.  
“Watching is for cowards.” Murphy looked into Echo's eyes, still more dead than alive, while still supporting Olive's little head. “Are you a coward, Echo?”   


2 Years and 2 Months after the Maccacre of Sanctum

Toddlers were messy. If they ate to much mashed veggies, their poop was green and smelly. Their noses were snotty and their little fingers often sticky coated with things Murphy couldn‘t even identify. Toddlers were also loud. They cried, they laughed and they found the oddest ways to make noise, sometimes with pots and pans.  
Lex was the oldest of his kids, just over a year and a half and mischief was written all over his handsome little face. His little siblings, a mere nine months old, just discovered how to crawl on all fours. Now Lex was the leader, on two almost steady feet, of their little army of rascals. And chaos seemed to await them at any twist and turn. They were always dirty, always touching things they weren‘t supposed to touch and they found ways to communicate with hands and feet and babbles, he totally didn‘t understand.  
Murphy had never thought, little people could make so much mess and ruckus. He was always running after them, letting them explore but making sure that they wouldn‘t kill themselves in the process. He was changing diapers more often than he could count, cleaning up sticky fingers and sorting through all the chaos they made in the much to small palace room they still all shared. When Emori came home, often bringing food to make up for the lack of a kitchen, he was just as spent as her from a day of planning, discussing and organizing their new world. Yet Murphy wouldn‘t trade his life for anything. Because he also never would have thought to be capable of so much love. Lex, Otis and Olive were loud and messy and wonderful. When Olive petted his cheek with her sticky fingers, Murphys heart bursted at the seams. When Lex said „Daddy“, loud and clear and with a grin as big as the sky, Murphy was proud. Otis looking at him with those big brown eyes full of trust and innocence fascinated him. And, when he had just a moment of time to think about it, it scared him. The love, the innocence, being a dad. Good thing that they kept him on his toes. 

It was a hot summer day and they had set up a flat metal tub for the toddlers near the farmhouse. Clarke was still living there, with Madi, Gaia, Niylah and Indra. A bit further down the hill Levitt and Octavia had build their house as well as the other people from Bardo they brought with them. The biggest house they had build was for a man and a woman who took care of the ten children they were able to safe. Murphy was glad that all the orphaned children, regardless of where they came from, had found a home with people who were willing to take care of them. Nobody on the ark had been looking out for him, after his mother died and before nobody had seen the bruises she inflicted on him after his father got floated. He still loved her but he vowed to never hurt his kids the way she hurt him. Never. 

“So first dibs, Lex?” Miller asked, while holding the toddler just centimeters above the water. Lex shrieked exited and trashed around with his little fit. Miller laughed and lowered the kid a little. Murphy, holding his daughter, Emori and Otis at his side, was watching them. He knew, technically, that Miller was careful with his son. Miller knew how to be a dad since he and Jackson particularly adopted Jeremiahs kids Rex and Lee after the massacre. But worrying about his kids safety came with being a father. He couldn’t just stop that feeling. But everything was alright. Lex sat in the tub, clapping his hands to the surface of the father, completely unfazed with the new sensation of taking a dib outside. Bellamy steadied his little niece Lilli, while she was slowly copying Lex antics. Murphy grinned and walked closer with Olive, Emori on his heel. It wasn’t long until all toddlers sat in the water, under the watchful eyes and steading hands of the adults. 

“Can we go to the beach?” Madi asked, Rex, Luca and Lee in tow. She was almost fourteen, her long brown hair up in a messy bun, flip flops on her feet. She grinned like a kid, carefree and full of summer in her eyes. Murphy was thankful for her happiness, so he nudged Clarke, who seemed unsure to allow Madi to go to the beach with her friends.  
“It’s safe. Let them have fun,” Miller added. He had build himself a surfboard and was at the beach more often than anyone else.  
“Can we get the board, Nate?” Rex asked, trying to impress Madi by organizing something cool. But Clarke looked scared shitless now. As much as Murphy got how it felt to worry about his children's safety, he thought that Clarke was overbearing. Madi often complained about it to everyone who would listen. Murphy knew that she loved Clarke, but she wasn’t happy about being handled like a baby.  
“Come on, Clarke,” she moaned with all annoyance a thirteen year old could muster. “Don’t wanna spend the whole day watching the babies splash.”  
“I could come …” Clarke started but stopped by the look Murphy gave her.  
“What?” she asked instead. Murphy pointed to the toddlers, still happily playing in the shallow water.  
“Look, Clarke. I’m scared too.”  
“But nothing can happen. We are watching them and …”  
“I’m always scared.”  
Clarke looked at him, big eyed and sad, suddenly. He’d like to know what was going on in her head but sometimes she was like a closed book to him.  
“I was always scared too, about O”, Bellamy offered. Octavia who stood behind him to watch her daughter over his shoulder leaned down and kissed her older brothers curly head full of hair.  
“It’s normal to worry about your kids”, Jackson said, full in therapist mood, even if he wasn’t that kind of doctor. “The secret is to not let them feel it.”  
“So can we go now?” Madi interrupted, sensing her chance.  
“You gonna be back in three hours, at the latest, Madi and,” Clarke stopped again, “you go to the beach. Nowhere else. No anomaly stone, especially not there. You got me?”  
“It was one time Clarke, and we didn’t even do anything. We just looked.” Madi was rolling her eyes, but Clarke looked dazed, as if she feared worse than Madi not being safe in the ocean.  
“Promise me, Madi,” she said, a tremble in her voice.  
“I promise,” Madi said annoyed, but then she ran over and kissed Clarkes cheek.  
“Love you. Bye,” she said, before running off with her friends in tow.

2 Years and 6 Months after the Massace of Sanctum

The Murphys loved to cuddle. Even if the room they shared in the palace was much to cramped, the big bed clearly made up for it. Murphy slept propped up on the cushions with Emori next to him. The kids got their own cribs and little kid beds in the corner of the room, but they loved to cuddle up to their parents in the middle of the night. Murphy always had one arm thrown around some kid. Otis always curled to a ball, his little feet poking Murphys ribs, Olive lay sweetly on her side, but her hand was cradled in Murphys sleep shirt. Her thumbless hand was always twitching while she dreamed. Lex was a wild sleeper. He often lay between him and Emori when he crawled into their bed. His arms and legs were tossed to the side. He looked like a little starfish. It was sweet, but annoying, when he kicked out in his sleep. Last night, he had turned around, his feet to the headboard, kicking Murphys face with his naked foot. His eye was still swollen shut, his cheek black and blue. Murphy really didn‘t miss how bad it felt to have his face fucked up like this. At least that little shit had been properly sorry, making sure to cuddle up to his dad like a sweet little angel for the rest of the morning that Murphy spend on the little loveseat in the corner of the room, up until he left with Emori to get necessities for dinner. Thank god, Raven was there to watch the twins, while he remains sprawled on the to small loveseat.  
„You look like you got tortured,” Raven, holding the sleepy Otis against her shoulder, made fun of him. Olive was napping in her own little bed.  
“Naturally, my eldest is a bully.” Shit, his face hurt when he talked. Murphy grunted in pain, but grinned when Lex came back into the room, Emori on his heels and carrying some sweets.  
“Brought me my favorite, kid?”  
“Yes, Daddy. Mommy gots Ice.”  
“What would I do without you? Come here, my little boxer. I want cuddles.”  
“Okay, daddy,” Lex said and climbed up the loveseat. Murphy steadied his kid, wrapping his arm around him, once Lex was comfortable on his dads torso.  
“The old Murphy kicked and screamed, the new just cuddles.” Raven stopped stroking little Otis back to pinch Murphys uninjured cheek, which earned her a death glare. Over Lex head Murphy showed her his middle finger and mouthed a silent “Float yourself!”  
“Look, who’s feisty,” Raven continued sassing him.  
“Be nice, Reyes or I will sic my kid on you.” Murphy grinned, even if it hurt like a bitch. “Attack, Lex.”  
“I’m no doggy.”  
“No? My mistake, kiddo.”  
“I can attack, daddy.” Lex was fixing him with his baby blue eyes. All of a sudden he roared, sitting prone on his fathers belly instead of cuddling up to him.  
“I know you can.” Murphy laughed out loud and started tickling his boys sides. “You wild thing.”  
Lex was snickering loudly, trying to wiggle away from his fathers tickling hands, not noticing how he kicked out with his little feet.  
“Ow,” Murphy whined, which made his boy stop instantly. Murphy grabbed his own side, hoping against hope he wouldn’t bruise.  
“I’m sorry, daddy,” Lex said with big tears threatening to fall from his eyes.  
Emori was stepping up to them. She gave Murphy the bag of ice to put it wherever he hurt the most, before grabbing at her son. But Lex threw himself forward against Murphys breastbone, stealing all air from his father lungs for a second.  
“Sorry, daddy,” he mumbled, face hidden in the crock of his fathers neck. Murphy just hugged his kid, softly caressing the little boys back.  
“It’s okay, Lex. We should both be more careful in the future, right?”  
“Absolutly,” Emori agreed, shaking her head in annoyance. “They are awful,” she said directed to Raven. “Savages.”  
“I think they are adorable, right Murphy?” With that Raven once again pinched his cheek. Emori giggled, as her husband once again looked up at her, ready to attack, if he wasn’t held to the loveseat by Lex hard embrace. Emori crouched next to it, softly stroking over his wild mess of hair.  
“You need a haircut,” she said. “Both of you.”  
“Do you hear anyone talking?” Murphy asked Lex, smiling playfully at Emori, who once again rolled her eyes.  
“Noo, daddy,” Lex said, already knowing this little game of theirs.  
“You’re both awful.” But Emori smirked all the same.  
“What was that?” Murphy asked again.  
“Nothing. No no nothing.”  
“Huh, okay. Little guy. Thought I heard some whisper.”  
“Ghosts, daddy?”  
“A mommy ghost, maybe? You can spot it?”  
“Yeah! I’m the bestest ghost hunter!” Lex said, climbing hastingly from his prone seat on Murphys belly to tackle his mom. Emori laughed, play-fighting with her little boy, while Murphy let his head fall back against the cushion he had put on the loveseat. With his left hand he held the bag of ice against his swollen eye.  
“I know another ghost. Let’s catch aunty Raven,” Emori said, stirring up her little son. Lex ran up to Raven and tackled her legs. Surprisingly, instead of handing over Otis to tussle with Lex, Raven seemed suddenly emotional. She was hugging Otis tight, a rare tear escaping her eye.  
“What’s wrong, Raven?” Emori was instantly at Ravens side, grabbing at Lex and sitting him on her hip.  
Raven laughed, but it sounded like she was about to cry.  
“Just lucky, I got you guys.” Emori put a hand on her best friends shoulder, comforting her. Bot of them knew what this was about. They all made it. They overcame war and destruction but they all got scars. Raven lost so many people who meant family to her. First Finn, but the list was long. Murphy and Emori hadn’t even really known some. Wick, Sinclair. Others they had surely known, Abby, Shaw, maybe even Luna. She had meant a lot to Raven. Jasper too. And later on they lost part of a family, they all belonged to. Monty and Harper. Raven went through hell, all of them did, and just like the others she came out on the other side, alive and well, except for all those battle scars.  
Murphy wished there were still people to be held acountable for what happened on the Ark. People to realize how wrong it was what they did to their offspring. But Skypeople were few and far in between and the ones who were alive weren‘t the ones that had been in charge. There was nobody to blame really and that made healing so much harder. Realizing that the people you loved, would never get any form of reparation from those who done them harm, hurt. Arks Chancellor was dead, the coucil long gone too, the remaining grounder were friend not foe and their leader decreased, McCreary died with the earth he destroyed, ALIE was nothing more that data garbage and the era of the Primes had passed. Nobody would ever apologize for the pain and yet it were moments like this, so happy that they hurt, that made surviving worth it. Murphy, even if he wished that there were people to clean up the mess that they made, was glad that they made it this far without any apologies. Who needed apologies for long overgrown wounds, when the things that lay ahead were so much more wonderful. Murphy looked at his family. As long as he got them and all the cuddles he’d grown so used too, all would be well. Raven will see. All of them will. Murphy was hundred percent sure that Sanctum was their chance of a better life. A future for the human race. One that Emori and him were postive to repopulate. Murphy grinned at Emoris still almost invisible baby bump. He just couldn’t wait for the future to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your opinion is greatly appreciated 🥰


	3. The survival of the human race

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, chapter three! 
> 
> We are going to welcome baby No. 4, who is an absolute favorite of mine. I love little Gail, I hope you will too.
> 
> We also meet some people from Sanctum and the Ark so be prepared

3 Years and 6 Weeks after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Two things happened this year: Emori got re-elected and their daughter, Gail, had been born on one of the hottest days in summer. But since Emori was a champ at being pregnant and birthing babies it wasn’t really bad at all. 

Gail was a hot-blooded girl. She was louder than the other kids, more screaming, more of the strange kind of laughing babies did. Her skin tone was even a shade darker than Emori's, she had the wildest light brown curls on her head as soon as she hatched and her eyes were the warmest blue he had ever seen. 

By now they were expecting to find a special feature while looking their babies over for the first time, almost making a game out of it who would see the special spot first, but Gail seemed to have none. Until a couple of loud and crazy days, with four kids under the age of three, later, Gail learned how to open her mouth to play with her tongue. It was split in half like the tongue of a snake and Murphy laughed out loud when he spotted it. 

“Emori, Raven, Clarke, come and look. It’s awesome.”

Raven and Clarke were over to help them watch the kids. By now, almost every day some of their friends came by to entertain the toddlers. Beside Octavia and Levitt, none of them had children of their own yet, so the little ones were pretty dotted on. 

“My little Viper,“ Raven coed instantly. None of their friends would ever tell but all of them had their favorites and that was okay. Olive was still the only baby that ever made it into Echo's arms, Bellamy loved Otis to pieces, while Lex had a special place in Clarke's heart. Maybe it was the name or maybe it was because Lex was as fascinated by Clarke's stupid dog as she was.   


Emori and Raven changed the babies diapers, luckily disposable now - the Bardoans were pretty handy to have around - while Murphy was chasing Lex around the room. Clarke, not too keen on baby poop and the ink that covered her favorite rugrat, was sitting on the loveseat in the corner. 

“It’s getting way too small in here,“ Raven commented, just barely getting out of Lex's way. She was living above the little Garage that once belonged to Ryker. Though lately and more often than not, Penn, a dutiful working officer in Indra's guard - whatever the hell they were guarding - was stealing his way in and out of Raven's container. Murphy wasn’t sure if the action went on in the bedroom or down in the garage, because lately Penn was looking at Raven the same way he was looking at the motorbikes.   
  
“At it, at it,” Murphy mumbled, while catching his oldest rugrat. Finally, Murphy and Emori had managed to build a house for themselves after almost everyone living in Sanctum had a home now. 

It had gotten quite a bit cramped in the Center of Sanctum so Murphy was glad that by now the radiation shield was not needed anymore. One of the first tasks Raven had worked on with Gabriel and some smart headed Bardoans, was to find a way so that nobody had to hide in Ryker's Keep when the Red Sun rose. It was a bit of trial and error but they managed just in time to pollute the air inside the radiation shield with enough antidote gas to last them all safe and sane through the eclipse. 

By now, years later, they had no use at all anymore for the radiation shield. The atmosphere was now adjusted to balance out whatever trace of the red sun toxin would’ve made them go ballistic. So, they started to build houses further outside on the other side of the fields and greenhouses. 

Emori had been a bit unsure if she really wanted to go live further outside, it would take longer for her to get back from the city center to the house if Murphy and the kids ever needed her, while she was working, but Murphy knew they just needed to live right next to the woods. It would be great for the kids and he had started to love the forest, while he ran cons with Emori back when they were young criminals on the ground.   


The house would be finished in a couple of weeks. Until then it would be a tight fit for them. Thirty-five square meters sounded like a luxury three years ago, now everybody was shaking their heads at them for living in sardine can, while around them people with way less offspring were living in houses twice as big. 

Murphy ruffled Lex's almost blond hair. He had ink in it too. Lex was still the fairest skinned one of their litter; Murphy remembered the blond hair of his mother Olivia, her blue eyes and white skin. She had been beautiful and thanks to her and whatever mixed race Emoris parents had been their munchkins looks were all over the place. 

Murphy found out he quite liked the craziness his kids brought. It kept him on his toes, while Emori was off and around being important.   


"So back to the topic at hand,“ Emori said and Murphy still thought she was hot as hell talking like a diplomat. "People are not trusting the peace to last. They still are waiting for the other shoe to drop. For example, by now, Jackson told me, fertility should have gone up by 25 % since nobody is malnourished anymore, but there were way too few babies born last year to repopulate. “ 

There were babies being born, just not as many as Jackson had prognosed based on the high amount of people of the right age to produce some babies to ensure the survival of the human race. 

"Maybe they think you two can repopulate enough for all of them," Raven picked on them, still cooing at Gail, tickling her belly which erupted in a laughter loud enough to get a tinnitus. 

"Good one, Reyes," Murphy commented and shouldered his eldest to put him into a bath, while the women talked politics. He might have some ideas to get the people more sure of the peace to last but he would pitch the idea after working on repopulating Sanctum with Emori one of these nights. 

3 Years and 4 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Murphy realized this was home, a couple of weeks after they moved into their house. He could find his way around in the dark without stubbing his toe on something. He recognized the smell of fresh baked goods, warm cotton and wodden toys, when he was out for a while and came home to Emori and his children. 

Murphy knew that home were the people and not this house but yet it felt different to the Ark, the Caves, to the Ring and the Palace. Maybe this house was home in a different sense than his family was. Home was also the wooden boards now, the drawn pictures on the wall, the creaking of the windows as it got colder outside. Home was the rocking chairs on the porch and Emoris sweet flowery shampoo. 

He craddled Gail to his naked chest, carrying her around the room. She was the most quiet when he moved around, whispering sweet nothings to her. Murphy felt drawn to her sweet baby smell and he relished in the thought that she would grow up not knowing anything but this house as the place to call home. 

Murphy still remembered his fathers voice, telling him bedtime stories, while his mom stroked his cheek and his back, lulling him to sleep lightyears away from here. As a child he could’ve never imagined where life would take him. Still, the tin box of metal never really felt comforting, only the arms of his parents did. The sterile almost chemical smell of the desinfect they were cleaning it with always made him feel nauseus. All those people, confided in a metal tube up in space made him sick. Literally. 

Murphy had been born for the Ground, or rather: he had been born for this place. For Sanctum. For his wooden house right on the edge of the woods outermost tree line. Murphy wanted to believe that he and Emori were meant to find this patch of earth. He truly hoped that Gail and her older siblings would find comfort in this house. A home. All of the things he never felt when he was a child. His mom once said, the human race wasn’t meant to be in space. They were all made for the ground. She wanted to scent the smell of rain and listen to the sounds of a booming thunder storm. 

“I did it, mom,” he wispered into his little daughters head full of already curly hair. Gail raised her tiny fist up to his face and grabbed at the long strand of hair that was falling down to his cheek bone. He’d have to cut it again.  
“We did it, right, Gilly Bean?” he coed softly at his little girl. “Mommy and me did it for you and your siblings. Gonna do right by you all, baby girl.”  
She pulled at his hair and made a loud and happy shriking sound. It echoed in the little nook by the inside fireplace across the biggest sofa Murphy had ever seen. His big ass sofa. 

Murphy made his way over and laid Gail softly on the cushions. She was looking up at him, still making funny gurgling noises. Gail was truly the most communicative baby he ever had. She was the happiest when she was being talked to so he continued to tell her sweet nothings about how he and Emori made it until here and how they would do anything to make her and her older siblings proud. 

“This is sweet,” Murphy heard Miller say as he followed Emori and the kids into their house. Lex, Olive and Otan ran off to wash their hands. Emori liked to establish rules, to distract from the fact that they were a horde of savages.  
“Don’t mock me,” Murphy answered, shouldering Gail again and flapping Miller a bird behind her back. Emori huffed out a soft little laugh. 

“Be nice, Miller is here to look after the windows,” she said. Emori thought something was wrong with them. But there wasn’t. The creaking, when the wind blew to hard just belonged to this house. Who cared if they needed to heat up the fireplace more in the winter. 

“Nothing to look at,” Murphy said curtly. Gail once again grabbed at the strand of hair falling in his face, shifting his attention back to her. “Right, Gilly Bean. We want our windows creaking. It’s a good lullaby.”

He strolled over to Emori, kissing her flat on the mouth, making her grin against his lips.  
“Okay,” she said, pressing another kiss to mouth, before turning back to Miller.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t worry about it.” He laughed softly. Murphy hadn’t been close to Miller before, only befriending him here on Sanctum, after the massacre more than three years ago, but nonetheless he was glad the guy was able to laugh like this. He remembered the first days on Sanctum: Muller had been a mess. Murphy didn’t judge him. Six Years in that freaking bunker, being forced to eat human meat for months - Murphy wasn’t sure, that he would’ve made it out alive. 

“Jackson forbid me from fixing the sink,” Miller said. “He told me the dripping of the tab was relaxing.”  
“It’s the little things, right?” Emori asked, softly caressing her little daughters curls, before slipping her hand into Murphys, as the sounds of his other kids footsteps drifted over to the living room. That, Murphy thought, sounded like home too. 

4 Years and 6 Weeks after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
It was Gails first birthday and the house was filled with friends and family. Murphy made a huge pot of soup, bread rolls and a big purple birthday cake for his little girl. There were voices all around him, but Murphy sat on the couch, Gail - face covered in chocolate and purple frosting - sat prone on his lap. She wasn’t really that much of a cuddler usually, always wild - bouncy headful of curls - and loud like a hungry young lion, but right now, her hand was craddled in her dads shirt. 

She had been chirpy and full of beans the whole day, content with being the center of attention on her special day. Murphy had been up and around making party preparation and tending to guests, talking here and there and pouring another drink. Now both were spent and quietly snuggling on the couch, while the party continued around them. 

Lex was dancing on Clarkes toes, Picasso running laps around them. Bellamy thaught Otis how to throw a soft ball. Murphy wondered if he ever spoke out a rule against throwing balls in the house, but decided it didn’t matter. Stupid rule anyhow.  
Olive was on Emoris arm, not happy about so many people invading their room, but when Echo made a funny face at her she laughed out loud. Murphy grinned at the rare display of Echos strange humor and Olive unusally loud giggling. 

“Did they tire you out, Murphy?” Octavia sat down next to him, her three year old daughter Lilli clinging to her hip. She was a sweet girl with dark sleek hair, deep brown eyes and her face almost tan by the myirads of freckles on her skin. Murphy thought she looked like a little copy of her uncle Bellamy.  
“Nah, just enjoying cuddle-time with my little spitfire.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Gails head. The little girl grinned and snuggled against his chest.  
“Luv you, daddy,” she babbled in her sweet baby voice. 

“She’s talking really good,” Octavia said, softly caressing her daughters back. Murphy huffed out a breath. What a strange world: he was sitting next to Octavia Blake - the girl under the floor, the very first skyperson to adapt to grounder ways, Bloodreina - cuddling their baby girls. They both didn’t deserve this by all means. The shit they made, all the harm the caused. But to be honest almost nobody around here really deserved the happiness they got. The second (third, forth, fifth) chance. 

But even though, Murphy tried to look at the crashing, sweeping milestones in front of him. He might never deserve it but somehow it worked out for him and the people dear to him. One day, in the future, humanity will consist of people who earned the right to this life, peace and happiness. Murphy looked down at his daughter and then over to Octavia. She saved the rest of the human race the best way she could when she opened the bunker for a hundred of every clan. She was still a good person and she had been someones daughter, once upon a time. 

“Yeah, talking is her thing.”  
“Just like her dad.”  
“What?” Murphy asked dumbfounded.  
“You are not as bad as Bell, but you always liked to talk.” She looked down, at her hand caressing her daughters shoulders. “I’m sorry, Murphy.”  
“What for?” They never even had much to do with each other before Sanctum. Maybe Octavia was one of the people he called friends or family, who did the least harm to him personally.  
“We never listened. I mean, most of the time, really, we didn’t listen to each other. But we especially didn’t listen to you.”  
“Yeah, bygones,” he said. Wasn’t like he had much to say back in the day when he had been a little shit, pissing on other people or shooting Raven in the leg. He would forever regret that one. 

“I learned a lot, when I ... when Diyoza and me raised Hope on Skyring,” Octavia told him in a voice that seemed louder and more important than the music Lex was still dancing to. It also sounded like she was telling a bedtime story and Murphy felt himself sinking further against the couch cushions. “I learned about forgiveness. Diyoza and me, we did what you did up in space. My brother and you and the others.”

“We became a family,” Murphy said. He felt sorry for Octavia. He knew she missed Hope, but he also knew that Octavia understood why Hope and Jordan rather went off to scout the moon than stay where everything reminded them of the parents they lost and of the fucked up society they were born into. Murphy just hoped it wasn’t as fucked up as before. They were all working really hard to make it. Maybe, if they just tried hard enough, some day, they might earn this last chance that the human race got. 

“Yes, You forgave each other and than you made something great out of it.” Octavia smiled with her words and just as if it was an afterthought, she said: “I’m sorry I tried to harm your family. I will never do that again. I hope you know that.”  
“Sure,” Murphy said and he meant it. They were different persons now. 

Later that day, when Murphy laid in bed, Gail, asleep and breathing softly on his chest, he felt like it had been over a hundred years ago that he landed on earth. He was a different person back then. 

Emori was cuddled into his side, almost asleep, the corners of her lips raised in a peaceful halfsmile. When they first met, in the desert, they were different people, too. Murphy had instantly felt drawn to her, she was new and exotic and so awfully familiar, as if their souls had met once before, in a different life, another universe. Time was a funny thing. 

“I love you,” Murphy mumbled and meant his beautiful wife, his daughter and his kids, asleep in their little kid beds the next room over. Days like these, a birthday, some anniversery, celebrations, a birth, they really made him feel like, whatever he did, he had to make stock of the moments. If was a wonder that he was able to experience them, he did nothing to earn that. It was just his luck. 

Murphy kissed his daughters head once again and fully soaked in the fleeting magic of life. 

4 Years and 3 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum 

Murphy was proud. Emori had made a friend, all on her own, someone who wasn’t born on earth but on Sanctum. Someone she was drinking tea with, while the kids - theirs and the one of her new friends - played on the grass in front of the porch of their new home. 

Murphy liked to see Emori like that. It was domestic and nice and she deserved nice things. That’s why he had stood in the kitchen late last night, baking sweet pastries for the three woman. Alyssa had been heavily involved with the faithful, just barely surviving - hurt, but alive. Alive. - the massacre. 

Jules was a CoG, but she was one of the first who decided to not hold a grudge against the people who once casted her out. But Emori and her had more in common than that. Just like Alyssa both were already mothers, which was still rare in Sanctum. 

Alyssa had been pregnant back when the massacre happened and her son Scott, a little mini-version of Trey - was just a couple of days older then Lex. The boys were throwing a ball back and forth and Murphy just couldn’t wait to teach them how to play soccer. 

Alyssa was the only woman beside Emori to have born more than one child after the massacre. Her little daughter Sadie was half a year younger than Olive and Otis - who would turn three in a couple of weeks. Olive and her were playing with some soft dolls, talking in a way only they understood. 

Jules was pregnant - she had just told her friends and Murphy, who naturally was home too, entertaining Gail so the woman had time to themselves. Her son Cooper just turned three last week. Murphy didn’t knew if he found it fascinating or gross how the kid was digging in the dirt, cheering occasionally when he found a worm or some other little insect to inspect and show off to the slightly younger Otis, who seemed to fight the same internal battle as his father. 

“The pastries are so good, John.” Alyssa never called him Murphy, which annoyed him deeply. But Emori liked her, so he beared with it, only rolling his eyes, gaze drawn down to his youngest daughter, so Alyssa wouldn’t even see it. 

Seeing Emori with Alyssa and Jules felt different then seeing her with Raven and Echo. They were family and he knew that Emori loved them, just like he did. They had been through so much. 

When Murphy looked at Emori tinkering with Raven in the garage he saw their happy smiles, he heard how they talked about him, felt the undying trust Emori and Raven harbored for each other but he also saw Raven putting her in a position to harm her health in the reactor to safe Sanctum, he heard Emori crying in Ravens room on The Ring, because of him, he felt how both had been through hell and came out better in the end. 

When Murphy saw Emori and Echo sparring in the garden behind Bellamys and Echos little house he saw warriors, grounders. The same origin, yet it were people like Echo - it was Echo, once upon the time - who regarded Emori as a stain in the bloodline just because she was special. Murphy remembered them both being nervous to be in space, both big eyed and silent. Prominent fear of being not good enough to be part of their little group. 

He remembered how Emoris nervousness turned into excitement, how Echos turned into determination, how both became family, to each other and to all of them. When he saw Emori with Raven and Echo his heart was bursting with love for his beautiful, out-of-this-world, badass wife and his sisters by choice. He’d go through hell for each of them, just like he would for Bellamy too, and Madi, Rex and Lee, and of course, more than anything, for his kids. 

But this, this was it. His closest circle. His family. Seeing Emori being friends, happy and carefree and oh so young, with people who weren’t part of that circle was good too. He liked it. He liked seeing her carefree. 

“He’s getting better than you, Lys. And you had a lifetime of practice”, Jules teased her friend and Murphy grinned, knowing how extra Alyssa was about her baking skills. 

“Baking is a fine art, Jules. You can’t judge that.”

“His are yummier.” Jules took a big bite, powdered sugar sticking to her nose, making her laugh.  
“It’s not only about the taste, but very much about the technique.”  
“Oh trust me, John’s technique is very satisfactory.” Emori grinned as if it was the best line of the week. She was a dork. Jules erupted in laughter while Alyssa turned red like a freaking tomato. 

“That is not … this is not…”, she stammered.  
“Now well, I would say McCallans technique at that is better than his kitchen skills”, Jules said with a wink. It had been one of the first parties that McCallan took over the piano and Jules hasn’t been gone from his side, having told Emori she fell in love with his voice first. 

“John is …”  
“Right here”, he interrupted his wife. Not that he minded to hear how satisfied she was with his performance in the bedroom, but did she need to tell her new friends, really? Wasn’t that kinda private? It was enough that Raven seemed to know more about his sex life than he did sometimes. Woman were awful, definitely worse than men. 

“Don’t be shy, John”, Emori grinned and came over to kiss his cheek, grabbing at his ass just to show off. 

Murphy steadied his hold on Gail, who shrieked excitingly at her mothers laugh.  
“Now I don’t know who’s face is redder, Lys’s or Murphy’s”, Jules teased again, making Emori giggle harder. 

Murphy huffed, rolled his eyes but smiled fondly at his wife. Hearing her giggle like that was a good sound. He could get used to this. If Jules and Alyssa brought that out, he would bake them all the pastries in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you say?  
> Liked it? I’d love you to comment


	4. Little constructs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, 
> 
> Thank you lots for your feedback and kudos. 
> 
> In this chapter there won’t be a new kid, but we will get to know the four babies a bit more. I hope you like it.

4 Years and 8 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

When he was a kid, his dad still alive, mom pretty and fond of both of them, Murphy wondered what adventures might await him in the future. 

He remembered the mobile above his bed. Dad had started to build it when Murphy been a baby and over the years, whenever he got his hands on some scrap metal, he added onto it. Murphy remembered a little rocket, some birds and fishes, a mountain and a boat. 

When Murphy had been six his father even built in a little motor, that got the thing to rotate, Murphy had loved it. He had spent literal days laying in bed, looking up at the mobile going round and round. 

He daydreamed about the universe outside of the Ark, he dreamed of earth. Murphy flew with birds and swam with fishes, free and bold, as if the walls around him weren’t holding him back. In his dreams Murphy was an explorer, he was an astronaut, finding planets and walking the moon. 

He was a pirate, a sailor, he was looking for treasure island, he was discovering new horizons. Murphy was a mountaineer, he made it to the top, he was walking for miles through the deepest jungle and the largest desert. 

It had been devastating when he finally realized that he would never live any of those lives. His generation wasn’t meant to ever leave the Ark. 

On the ground Murphy had almost hoped, they never had. Getting tortured in a grounder camp, walking over a mine field in the desert, almost being a sea monsters snack - all of that didn’t feel like an adventure. 

Yet Murphy was able to see more than he ever thought he would. Somehow he really became a explorer, just maybe like he was always meant to be. He was exactly where he was meant to be. 

It wasn’t even Sanctum. True, the place, completely unnoticed, started to mean something to him. Something that earth, never meant. Sanctum was home. Murphy couldn’t remember if the Ark ever felt like home. Certainly his mothers arms and his fathers stories from a world long gone and those he imagined himself made him felt like he felt now. Here was where he belonged. 

It wasn’t really the place. It were the people. And what they made out of this moon. Young Murphy, babyfaced, his fathers stories in his head and his mothers kisses, featherlight tiding him over to wondrous dreams, longed for adventure. 

Who would have thought, that the greatest adventure of his life would look like this: Olive picking flowers to put them in a glass on her windowsill, Lex and Otis playing hide and seek behind the trees and Gail trying to catch yellow butterflies. 

Emori sat on a blanket amid a meadow full of colorful wildflowers. He had found her, when he followed Jaha to the strangest pilgrimage of all ages - it had been love at first knife to the throat. Emori was the start of the greatest adventure of his life. She was a surprise and a promise. She was so beautiful. 

“I will forever love you,” he whispered in her ear. She smiled and kissed his cheek. It was good to be home. Murphy was glad he found her. Or that she found him. What a fortune. What a life! Little Murphy, laying in his bunk on the ark, looking up at his mobile of scrap metal, could have never ever imagined. 

4 Years and 10 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Murphy loved his kids from the very first moment they were born. He cuddled them, fed them and cleaned their sticky hands and faces. He helped them learning to talk and aided their first steps. He contained himself from using swear words as much as possible - he would always have a naughty mouth - and he bitched at others when they set a bad example for his kids. 

He cooked them healthy food with lots of veggies and gave them some cookies to add some more of the flavour of sweetness to their childhoods. Murphy tried to be the father that his babies deserved. He never thaught it possible but this - caring for his children - really filled him. There was none of the dread he feeled in the absence of war on the ring. 

That was why Murphy was able to notice little things, that were in fact big life lessons, as he later realized. For example that the core of his kids - their souls, their charcteristica - were preset. It‘s wasn‘t him filling their bodies with personality or temper. They were already filled by the time they opened his eyes for the first time and looked up at him. 

Murphy realized it wasn‘t his task to form and fill them, but rather to get to know his babies. And it was a pretty big and important task, because he was the one who could fuck them up. 

So he watched. Take his daughters. Olive was calm. He saw it in the way she moved. She was almost floating, walking quietly, while observing the world around her. Gail was different. She had a spring in her step when she was happy and she was stomping like a troll when she wasn‘t. 

Otis was a pretty relaxed kid. He loved dogs, maybe because Lex, his older brother, loved them. He loved playing balls, because Lex did. But Otis also loved insects even if his older brother found them nasty and wouldn‘t touch a worm for the hell of it. Otis was always observing and if he deemed something good he took it over and made it his own. At first Emori worried he would try and copy Lex to much, only doing things because he wanted to fit with him. 

But Otis also loved to watch Miller and the guys work construction, so he build his own little houses with sticks and stones. He always wanted to come when Emori had time to tinker at some project in Ravens garage, asking a ton of questions. He told Murphy just a couple of days ago that Mommy and aunty Raven were the coolest, because they made it go boom. Murphy didn‘t even want to know. Emori and Raven were a scary tag-team. 

By now both him and Emori realised that the three year old was a judge of their behavior. It was great that Otis found his love for dogs by taking his older brother as a role model, it was great the people around him set good examples by working hard to make Sanctum a better place. It was awesome that Otis was adoring his mother. Murphy did that for years now. 

„Let‘s get you ready for bed,“ Murphy said to his kids. It was late and he had been washing the dishes, while his kids played on the living room floor. Emori wasn‘t home tonight, she sat in her monthly conferences with all the people currently leading or planning some projects. He was curious what he had to tell him tomorrow. Most of the times she was exited about the progresses and the new ideas. Sometimes he had to listen to her bitch about issues and delays and dumb opinions of dumbass people. He loved her exitment as much as her bitching. She was pretty sweet when she was annoyed. 

„Can we wait for mommy?“ Lex asked.  
„No, buddy. Mom is gonna be late today. But I bet she will want to wake you up in the morning.“ Murphy was used to negotiate with his bunch.  
„It‘s not the same,“ Otis noled.  
„I know, kid. Come here.“ Otis walked over and leaned against his fathers torso. Murphy hugged him. 

He knew sometimes it was hard for the kids when Emori wasn‘t home for hours. They didn‘t understand yet that Sanctum was important too. And Emori was so needed by everyone. Murphy hoped that one day their kids would be proud an not hurt by her temporal absence. He just hoped he was enough to soothe their longing. One thing he knew for sure was that they were loved by Emori. She made sure to show them whenever she was with them. He also knew that they missed her even more because they knew how sweet her kisses were, how good she cuddled them. Yeah, he was certain that they kids didn‘t question her love. It was still hard, when mommy wasn‘t there to tuck them in. 

„Will my cuddles make do for tonight?“ Murphy asked with a grin. Usually after a bit of gentle and fun coaxing his kids were content with it.  
„Okay, daddy,“ Olive said and started to put their toys away in a box that was made for them. She was a wonderful role model for her siblings, too. Lex started helping her, without his father telling him too. Murphy pressed a kiss to Otis head before giving him a little nudge to aid his siblings. 

„What about you, Gilly? Put some toys away too.“  
„Don‘t wanna,“ she said and continued playing with her dolls.  
„It‘s bedtime, baby girl. Don‘t you want to listen to a story and get some cuddles?“  
„Yeah,“ she said. Gail loved stories. She was almost calm when he read to his kids, even if he was slower than he liked to be. Sometimes the words in the books still looked funny to him. Dyslexia was a bitch but his kids were used to him reading slower than mommy. But usually they got relaxed and sleepy from it so everything was fine. 

Murphy helped Gail putting away her little dolls before picking her up and ushing the other kids to the bathroom. He passed their tooth brushes, washed their sticky hands and faces and aided them when it came to putting on their pyjamas. Someimes wondered if it was supposed to be difficult to raise four kids under the age of five but taking care of them came easy to him. Lot‘s of it was routine and love and he thought they were all doing just fine. 

Lex and Gail had their own rooms, while the twins shared one, but most of the time the kids decided for themselves where they wanted to sleep. Tonight all of them decided for the twins room. The boys took Otis bed, deciding to share a pillow, each of them cuddling their own little favorite plushies. 

Olives put hers in a neat row. She had three loved plushies, a bunny, a purple caterpillar and a horse that looked more like a donkey. The sanctumite, who made them, sometimes had a hard time imagine all the species, she had never seen before. But she got better with each little plushie she made for the rising amount of toddlers in Sanctum. 

Murphy grabbed the book they started the night before and sat down by the foot of Olives bed, Gail sprawled across his lap. She had been talking to him animatly while he was carrying her from room to room, cleaning her cheeks and fingers, buttoning her sleepshirt and even while brushing her teeth, but now, as he read slow and soft, she started to calm down. Her leg was still bouncing but she listened, careful to not miss a word of the story he told. Most nights she was asleep by the time he reached the next chapter, snoring even before her older and way calmer siblings, as if she needed to rest from all the ruckus she caused over the day, but tonight wasn‘t one of these days. 

When Murphy finished the chapter, obly Gails feet were still in his lap. Her body lay across the whole of the bed, her head against Olives belly. Olive, being the dutifull older sister that she was, was slowly petting Gails wild head full of hair. She calmed down a bit but when Murphy turned pages again, she climbed off the bed and over to the one the boys shared.  
It took only a second for her to crawl on it and cuddle between her brothers. 

Gail seemed to know about her part as the baby of the family. Even her inly slightly older siblings dotted upon her and let it slide when her foot kicked they legs, while she tried to cuddle. Murphy grinned as Lex threw an arm around her. Gail was happy to be snugglef and Lex already knew that enveloping his little sister in a bear hug held her still enough for all of them to fall asleep. 

Olive was the first one tonight. She was pushing soft breath into her yellow little pillow. Next was Lex, arm still thrown around Gail. It looked sweet as hell. In times like these Murphy wished he had taken that stupid camcorder from that hellhole of a lighthouse bunker. He‘d love to record his kids while growing up. 

Murphy closed the book when he finished the next chapter. Carefully he stood from Olives bed and went over to his other kids. He bend over to press a kiss to Otis cheek.  
„Sleep tight, kiddo,“ she said before blowing a little kiss to Gails curls.  
„Love you,“ she mumbled, making him feel all warm and mushy inside. He knew he was a sap, but wasn‘t it the best thing in the world to hear his babies say that they lovef him? 

„Love you, too, baby girl,“ he whispered, because Gail always calmed down best if he did. „Sweet dreams.“  
Gail grabbed subconciously at her big brothers little plushy. Otis let her. He had them all wrapped around her tiny fingers.  
Murphy patted his shoulder, before attempting to stand up, when his boys voice stopped him.  
„Hey, daddy.“  
„Yeah, bud?“

„Love you forever,“ the kid said and Murphys heart was bursting. Seemed like Murphys special way of telling his family how much he loved them - nothing less them forever - had been deemed good by his little copy cat of a son.  
„I will love you forever, too, Otis.“ his kid grinned and closed his eyes, as sleep was slowly catching up with him. Dogs, houses, making things go boom - all of that was awesome as hell, but Murphy was glad to be the one to show his kid, that in the end, what mattered most was love. 

4 Years and 11 Months after the Massacre

Lex world was full of little constructs. In fact Murphy thought, most people, especially kids, build little constructs in their heads. It was definitly easier to understand the world that way. 

But Lex had lots of little constructs and he was pretty open in showing them and letting his parents take part in his musings. There were general things: They were living on a moon. Their moon had two suns. When his dad talked about earth, while meaning the moon, Lex looked funny at him. Earth was irrelevant within the construction of his reality. 

Lex always knew he was the oldest of his siblings. Because he was born first. Nobody ever told him that it was his task to protect his siblings or to be a role model. Yet in Lex world of constructs being the oldest meant that it was compleatly okay when his little siblings followed him in a strange form of single-file walk. Yet, lately, he also build up a construct that being the oldest should provide him with more liberties than his baby brother and baby sisters. 

„I‘m older,“ he said one evening. „I‘m allowed to stay up ten minutes more.“  
„Don‘t you want to listen to the story?“ Murphy asked him, while Emori was sorting through the bookcase with Olive and Otis to select one for today.  
„I wait in my room. You can read me a story in ten minutes, okay daddy?“  
„Yeah, okay,“ Murphy agreed, because well: Lex was the oldest and if his world view was a bit more okay when he was allowed ten minutes more and a bedtime story of his own, Murphy was pretty okay with that. 

Most nights, Lex got his own story now. It was good for the kid. Murphy and Emori always tried to offer each of their children one on one time. It was important. Murphy wanted all of them to understand, that they weren‘t just part of a ragtag group of kids, but each one on their own was a son or a daughter. All of them were important and interesting on their own. Murphy hoped something akin to that was also a little construct in Lex world. 

He really had many of those and Murphy loved to get glimpes of his boys way of perceiving the world.  
Lex had tons of constructs for soccer. Even if he wasn‘t yet five years old, he was quite the little strategist when it came to the field. It seemed like he always had a plan where exactly the ball should go. 

„Yeah, you got it, champ,“ Bellamy cheered him on, when Lex scored a goal. Bellamy shared Murphys opinion that kids and soccer where an awesome combination. Back on the ring they had strangely bonded over old and recorded soccer matches. 

Lex grinned and showed them a thumbs up, before passing the ball to his friend Scott. Trey, the boys father, stood next to Murphy, watching the small group of kids play. He looked out of place, but Murphy was sure the magic of kids and soccer balls would soon catch him, too. Trey might not be the most open minded person but he was a fast learner. 

The moms sat with the smaller kids and babies on the blanket by the meadow next to the soccer field. Murphys gaze shifted to his wife and his girls. Olive was playing with Scotts little sister Sadie, while Gail stood on Emoris legs to have a view of the soccer field. Murphy strolled over to grab her under the arms.  
„Wanna watch Lex and Otis, baby girl?“  
„Yeah,“ she made and bounced in his hold. 

When Otis passed the ball to his older brother, Lex scored another goal, offering Scott and Otis high fives. They were a team and one of Lex little constructs seemed to be that winning was a team effort. Murphy was really proud. Maybe, he thought as he helped Gail to sit prone on his shoulders, Bellamy and Clarke and him and all of the others who came down to earth in that Dropship should have taken a minute and consider thinking in constructs. They were overwhelmed and scared to death, but also exited to be free, their bodies full of adrenalin. It made them all dumb. 

Murphy was glad they weren‘t dumb with fear and exitment anymore. One of Murphys constructs were that he‘d do anything to protect his kids world and the way they peceived them. He wanted to enabled Lex to think in childlike constructs of soccer techniques and the innocent rights and obligations of oldest brothers for as long as possible.


	5. More than I ever wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, chapter 5 and baby 5. This one is gonna be a sweet little pea, I promise. But aren’t they all, after the whirlwind that is Gail? 😬
> 
> Who of those kids do you like the most for now?

5 Years and 1 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum   
  
He loved Emori, endlessly and without a doubt, but what he felt for his little ones was different. He’d die for Emori, certainly. Burn at the stakes for her, get eaten alive by wolves. He’d kill for her, still, even being the person he became. He’d give up himself, his morals, his fear of death and hell, even if he was scared it would burn him alive. But on the other hand he wouldn’t. 

He had a strange dream last night. She died. Not in a battle, but in a surgical room, Jackson by their side. She died and her face was pale and full of black blood. And Murphy deemed it not acceptable. 

Life without her was not living. So in the dream he’d put her mind-drive in his head. He died with her, holding her, dancing with her, crying with her. In a palace room just like the one they lived in, outside was the desert, vast and wide and beautiful. And he woke up just as their bodies became light. 

Murphy would die, so she could live, without a doubt. But he wouldn’t choose death to spend a few more hours with her. He couldn’t. Life changed. And while his love for her grew each and every day, still after all those wonderful years of companionship, there were people more dependent on them than each other. 

When he looked at his sweet children he felt love, of course he did. And he felt responsible. For the rest of his life he’d protect them, even at the cost of Emori. It was a scary thought, but he knew it was right. It should be like that. 

“Daddy, can you braid my hair?” Olive asked. Lex and Otis sat on the floor playing thumb wars. The winner always got a sugar coated nut that was placed in a bowl between them. Murphy was just glad they were occupied, tired still from his dream last night and the inability to go back to sleep afterwards. 

“Yeah, Chicklet. Get the brush?”  
“Already got it. And my favorite tie.” She gave him the soft brush, they used for the kids and the light pink hair-tie. There was a painted wooden flower connected to the elastic. It was sweet. 

Olive sat down in front of him and he got to brushing her soft dark hair. Murphy remembered carding is fingers through Emoris hair, back when they were young and on the ground. He had learned to braid it by trial and error because she told him braiding hairs was a sign of love in the grounder culture, that she wasn’t allowed to be part of. 

„I‘m gonna wear my new dress today,“ Olive told him, while Murphy was busy braiding her dark hair. It was long and thick, but Murphy had enough practice to make it look beautiful. 

„Oh, you will?“ he said, showing interest to have his quietest kid tell him more.  
„Uh-huh“, she nodded. „Mommy said I can. ‘Cause it‘s a special occasion.“  
„Hold still, Chicklet.“  
„Sorry, daddy. You gonna make me pretty right?“  
„You are always pretty“, Murphy said and leaned over to blow a raspberry against her cheek. 

„Me too, Daddy!“ Gail was a whirlwind. Her thick locks bounced while she ran over to the sofa, the small tea party she was celebrating with her favorite plushies abandoned. 

„Of course you are pretty too, baby-girl.“  
She nodded, as if she‘d known that all along, wild and enthusiastic, and climbed onto the sofa. She clung to his shoulder, to be able to watch what he was doing to Olives long hair. 

„Me too, Daddy!“, she said again and Murphy understood. He looked to the the side, his daughter face right next to his own. Her hair was a lions mane, beautiful and wild, much to thick to tame. 

„Can‘t,“ he said, flicking one of her locks softly.  
„But I wanna“, she wailed right next to his ear, making him flinch. Murphy put the tie around the end of Olives braid.  
„Go watch in the mirror, Chicklet,“ Murphy said, before grabbing Gail and sitting her down in front of him. 

She was watching him with an angry frown on her face, just seconds away from screaming. He was way to tired to do this today. 

„Come on, baby-girl“, he said, standing up while holding her close. He followed Olive to the bathroom, standing behind her in front of the mirror. Once gain he touched his youngest daughters wild locks.

„Look, you got special hair. I can‘t braid it“, he whispered, because whispers made her relax.  
„Wanna like Olive.“ One big crocodile tear fell on his shoulder. 

„Wait, Gilly!“ Olive ran out of the bathroom, only to come back with a small hair-clip. The was an almost identical wooden flower on it, while Olives was a pale yellow, this one was bright pink. Murphy crouched down, setting Gail in between his knees. 

„You can have this, look, Gilly. Like this.“ Really careful Olive took some of the locks that fell over Gails forehead and pinned them to the side. 

„You look really sweet“, Murphy said.  
„Wanna see!“, Gail exclaimed exited, so Murphy stood up, taking her with him. She looked at her own reflexing in the mirror, touching the gifted hair-clip. 

„Say, thank you, baby-girl“, Murphy whispered and let his daughter down when she suddenly wiggled in his arms.  
He looked fondly down to his little girls. Gail had her arms around her older sisters hips and she grinned up at her. 

„Thanks you, Olive,“ she almost screamed. Murphy shared a pained grin with his older daughter, before scooping both of them up.  
„Let‘s get you dolled up or Mommy will have our hide if we are to late to the party.“ 

— —

The party was a yearly fest to celebrate the summer. Bellamy once told him it was a lot like midsummer, but in fact it was just something Emori had thought about after hearing about various of festivities the different cultures in Sanctum knew about. 

Just like anything else it was a mix up of anything this crazy melting pot of theirs had to offer. Emori liked to celebrate things. She had set a date for the day they met, estimated by the day Murphy came to the ground, his count of days since then and the raising of the sun in the desert she was living in. It was probably off by a couple of days but she liked to celebrate it with sweet kisses, special chocolate treats and a night spent in the woods. 

Murphy always made sure to bring her flowers that day and to sharpen their hunting knifes, not that they were hunting more than a rodent for dinner but it was the thought that counted. 

They summer festival was a different thing, though. Emori always started to plan it by the end of spring, so they were ready to celebrate the biggest party in Sanctum by the middle of summer. 

People were preparing the fairground days before. Wood was chopped for the bonfire, flowers were made into art to decorate the place alongside colorful stripes of cloths and lanterns. Food was plentiful. Murphy had baked tons of pastries and cakes, because he know it made his wife happy. There was grilled meat and vegetables for those who rather lived vegetarian (who would judge the guys from the bunker), lot‘s of fruit and cool drinks. Jo Juice was flowing freely. 

Music was coming from the speakers they got from the palace, people were singing along and dancing various dances they knew from their old lives. Murphy thought Trikru had the best moves. Indra, strangely loose without a war to win and the Jo Juice doing it‘s thing, was rocking the dance floor. Octavia was there too, honoring what Indra and Lincoln thought her. Dancing and Fighting in fact wasn‘t so different. That‘s why Murphy rather sat on the lawn, his face being warmed by the sun. 

The kids were playing a game of drop the handkerchief.  
„Do not turn around. Because the Plumpsack goes around,“ the kids where singing loud and laughing and Murphy grinned. People being loud was part of the fest. Emori liked the idea that the noise drove away evil spirits. Therefore the grounder drumming they drums and dancing their load, stumping dances was deeply appreciated. The Sanctumites had shown her fireworks and Emori liked the lights and the noises and that every fraction of her people wanted to contribute. So she embraced the way the children of Gabriel burned herbs. The aromatically scented smoke spread all over the place. 

Murphy shifted his gaze to the side, where Levitt sunk down next to him, offering him one of two cups of beer - thanks to the Convicts who still remembered and tried to recreate with the help of the Farmers and the Workmans who owned the tavern. 

„Thanks,“ Murphy said and took a sip. Yeah, Beer was great. Better than Montys moonshine, even if that was easily the best thing about the six years on the Ring. Besides Emori of course, but that had been a complicated thing in the end. He was glad it worked out like this. Glad they came out of that alive. 

"You not up for dancing, Murphy?" Levitt asked timidly, watching over to his wife. Octavia was laughing and stomping her feet in the same beat as Indra. She still looked like a warrior with the brown leather corset she was wearing but the flowers in her hair were a sign of peace. 

"Nah," Murphy made and drank some more of his beer. Levitt did too, they were quiet for a while, but then he said: "This is more than I ever wanted."  
"More like?"  
"When Octavia asked me to come, I knew the answer. Trancendence was what my whole life had been about but when I met her I knew that what I had, wasn't a life. And I wanted one."

"Trancendence, what should that even be, man?" Murphy leaned back, the cup almost empty in the grass beside him.  
"I don`t know. It`s not life, not death either. The shepherd said, that …" Levitt stopped, he took another sip of his beer and then he huffed, "You know what? In fact it doesn`t matter what he said."  
"How come?" 

"It has been hundred of years now for the ones who stayed behind. The Shepherd is dead or he is still on ice. I don`t care. If they didn`t get the code by now, they never will."

"You ever thought about going back to get them?"  
"I`m not that guy, Murphy."  
"Yeah, me neither", Murphy sat up again, remembering his dream and his vision of hell all those years ago, when he died during the first red sun he ever experienced. He never told anyone but what he saw … crystal giants, a dark place, thunder and lightning, that sounded an awful lot like the surface of Bardo. Who knew what it all really meant, Trancendence, Life and Death, Hell. Murphy didn't care. His gaze shifted to the still playing children. That was what counted. 

"This," Murphy said, "is everything I wanted."

Later that day Levitt had timidly approched Octavia and she was teaching him, their daughter Lilly and most of the other kids how to dance like savages. It was fun to watch, but Murphy rather stayed at his place on the grass. Lots of people sat with him, eating, drinking, laughing. 

Picnic was another thing Emori had liked about the festivities. It had been a bardoan guy who told her about it. His ancestors had told him that once a year, back on earth they had celebrated something with a picnic and fireworks, but he couldn't remember what it was. Emori just adaped it for their own festivities. 

Murphy licked at his thumb, sticky with leftover sugar from the pastry he had eaten, when Emori approched him. She had been around almost all day, talking to people, socialising, only sneaking a kiss from him every now and then. She had also given a speech, that he helped her prepare. Murphy liked that she wanted to hear his thoughts on matters like these, even if he still got his letters mixed up and reading was a pain sometimes. 

"You good, John?" Emori asked, sitting next to him on the grass.  
"´Course," he mumbled, resting his head against her shoulder.  
"You look tired, babe," she whispered. Unlike him - who had tons of nicknames for her and their bunch of children - she rarely called him something else than John.

"Yeah, I guess."  
"The kids been difficult this morning?"  
"No, not at all," he pressed a little kiss to her naked arm. "Was up early, strange dream."

"Wanna talk about it, John?"  
"Nah." Another kiss to her arm. She smelled good too. Like the flowers she wore in her hair and like the sun. He had always smelled the sun on her skin. Maybe because she was desert born. A desert, like in his dream. He wondered if her mindspace looked like the one in his dream. He wondered what his looked like. 

"I love you, John," she said and strocked over his hair. Her hands felt cold from the beverage she was holding before.  
"Love you, too `Mori," he said, again thinking of his dream. He didn't know why he couldn't just forget about it. That wasn't by far the worst dream he ever had. It had been nice in fact, to be with Emori, to become light with her. Maybe it was that. It felt nice and yet, he could never decide like that in the life that he was living. 

Back then, at the time the massacre happend, he probably would‘ve choosed some hours with her over a lifetime without. 

But it was different now. If it came to one of them dying, he would certainly make sure that it was him. But both of them dying and leaving their little ones behind was just not acceptable. He still felt like he betrayed her by thinking like that, even if he knew she felt exactly the same. 

They were quiet for a while, Emori still strocking over his hair and him leaning against her soft shoulder. She was soft all over and he loved her like crazy. That's why he mumbled: "Can`t wait to cuddle you later."

"You`re cuddling me," she deadpanned. At least she wasn't a sap like him.  
"Nah," he said again and sat up straight, stealing her drink from her other hand to take a sip. It was sweet. He liked it. So he took another sip and winked at his wife. "Not cuddling you enough right now."  
She leaned over to kiss his mouth, licking over his lips. They tasted like the sweet drink he stole from her. 

"Gonna take care of you tonight", she said against his lips, kissing him again, before drawing back a few centimeters. "I`m gonna find someone to watch the kids and bring them over later tonight. I`ll be back in a minute."  
"You plan on ditching your own party, ´Mori?", he grinned, sure that she wouldn`t.

"It`s everyones party", she said, like he should know that.  
"So we're ditching?"  
"Yeah, John. We are." She rolled her eyes about how exited he sounded to do something so juveline. But then she kissed him, soft for a moment, only to nip at his bottom lip, her sharp teeth just hurting him the exact right way. She drew back again, not as far as before and said: "Don`t sound so surprised."

But he was. Surprised. Not because Emori sounded like she couldn't wait a moment to get him into their bed. Both of them were often like this. But Emori loved being the chancellor of this crazy moon and she loved parties. She loved organizing them and celebrating. Being with all those people who accepted and embraced her for who she was. Before Sanctum she didn't have this. And ditching this for being with him meant an awful lot in his regards. 

6 Years and 2 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum   
  
Emori has been re-elected once again and she was in the last bouts of her fourth pregnancy. The last years working hard at a better future for everyone in Sanctum while being a mother of four toddlers, had been hard and tiring. 

The people in Sanctum trusted her, but they still didn't trust the peace to last. Most of the people living in Sanctum had long forgotten what peace felt like and the others just experienced how it felt to lose whatever ignorant kind of peace they had when everything they believed in fell apart like a house of cards. At least the Sanctumites and the Bardoans, that survived the days on which lost peace, could bond over it.  
  
Emori and Murphy talked about things like these in the quiet of their bedroom while their kids were asleep. Even if Murphy almost never talked about politics and building plans in public, he was quite the good strategist and his thoughts meant a lot to Emori, he knew that. 

He wouldn‘t want to get too involved in the light of day, being content to care for his litter and his home - who would have thought that he could do peace if it was just crazy enough? Back on the Ring the quietness scared him, being useless to Emori and the rest of the group, while they were forging bonds, scared him so much he retreated into himself. But he wasn‘t that guy anymore. 

He was sure of the love Emori had for him, he was useful in the life of his kids and at night talking politics and peacekeeping with his badass and beautiful wife - yes he regarded her as his wife, he had proposed with those freaking mind drives that were still in their necks. Not better or worse than rings, he supposed.  
  
For now, being that far in her pregnancy, she just worked short days, her biggest project was to plan the building of a new school with Bellamy. The one they had was needed to increase the size of the hospital and Bellamy had asked for some time now to get a bigger class room and more ground for the children to play. 

So they were planning to set it up just a few hundred meters into the fields of Sanctum. They spoke to the harvesters but it was no problem to relocate the wheat to another part, now that there were no borders to the woods anymore.   
  
Today was a special day for Murphy. Beside his own four, soon to be five rugrats, there was Rex and Rex would be eighteen tonight. Rex and his younger brother Lee had been Jeremiah's Children and Murphy still felt responsible for them even if Miller and Jackson took them in after their father and mother died in the massacre of Sanctum almost six years ago now. 

“I promised your dad a drink," Murphy told him, just outside of the taverns. Emori was on kids duty tonight but she had Raven and Madi helping her. Murphy huffed sadly. “We never got to it.” 

Murphy opened the door, before Rex was able to say something and they sat down by the bar. Murphy greeted Mrs. Workman and asked her for two glasses of Jo Juice. Some names just stuck, regardless of the namesake. 

“So what, now you’re drinking with me, Uncle Murphy?” Murphy grinned.   
“You little shit,” he said, “Because of you every kid in Sanctum is calling me that.”   
“Not everyone,“ Rex grinned too as they clinked their glasses.   
  
“Your father would be proud of you, Rex,” Murphy said after some time, “I certainly am. You grew up real fine.”   
“All thanks to you, Jax and Nate.” Rex took a sip of his drink and added as an afterthought: “And Emori of course. What she is doing is out of this world.”

“You know kid, we learned from the best.” Murphy tapped his finger against Rex's shoulder, just a few centimeters over his heart. Murphy had watched Rex, Madi and the other kids play soccer more than once over the last couple of years. Kids and soccer, great things, if you asked him. And they were really wise, not caring about the origin of their friends. If they could pass a ball they were fine.   
  
“You know,” Murphy said after they ordered a second round. “We have a name for the babe.”   
“About time,” Rex laughed, tongue loose from the first alcohol he ever had, “Poor Emori is going to pop soon.”   
“Real funny, drunkhead. But uhm, what do you think about Jerry?”   
Rex turned on his stool, suddenly and just a tid bit clumsy.   
“For real?” His freaking eyes were wet. No more alcohol for the kid, Murphy decided.   
  
He ordered water after that, not yet ready to leave the tavern.  
“What are you up to now that you are free of Bellamy holding you in school?” 

Bellamy, head teacher of the Sanctum School, had decided that the kids had to stay in school until they were eighteen. After that they were free to decide what to do, they had enough work for anyone but kids should be allowed to be kids and there was lots to learn on Bellamys curriculum. 

“I’ll wait a month, then Madi and Luca will be eighteen too. We wanna travel the moon just like Hope and Jordan do. Maybe we’ll meet up with them.”   
“Are you crazy?” Murphy sighed, “Who will watch my horde after you and Madi leave?”  
“You’ll live, Uncle Murphy.” Rex was clapping his shoulder like the sweet first time drunk that he was.   
  
“For real, do you think it’s a wise idea to go with them?”  
“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t it?”  
Murphy stalled by ordering another glass of Jo Juice for himself. What a blessing that it would be a long time until he had to have these kinds of talks with his own kids. Hopefully they would have a cool uncle for that too. 

“Since they are a thing again," Murphy said with caution. Madi, who finally had a chance at being a kid when Emori became Chancellor, was a spitfire when it came to Rex and Luca.   
"It‘s a bit different this time, Uncle Murphy.“  
"Different how? You‘re not in love with Madi anymore?“  
"No. I mean, I am. Luca too. We‘re trying it our way now.“

Murphy leaned back into the rest of his barstool and raised an eyebrow expectantly.   
"Like all three of us, okay?“ Rex's voice was only mumbling and when Murphy just looked at him, concerned but still questioning, he continued a bit louder. "We all like each other. Madi can‘t choose and really, we don‘t even want her too. Luca‘s a great kis...“ He stopped when he saw Murphy smirking. Funny, Murphy thought, what a bit of alcohol did to him.   
"You do you, kid,“ he said and clasped his shoulder.   
  
— — 

Ten days after Murphy learned how weird kids were these days - really he’d never thought about inviting a third person into his and Emori's bed - Jerry was born. He was almost as blond as his oldest brother - Murphy wondered if the genes of his mother were really that strong and hoped that only applied to looks and not character or he would disown all of them as soon as they were of drinking age. But instead of Lex's fair skin he was almost as dark-skinned as Gail. He was the biggest baby they ever had and Emori was tired after birthing the heavyweight. 

Murphy looked his newborn son over alone, while Emori slept in the hospital bed, when Doctor Jackson came into the room. 

"So," he said, smiling as he always did when babies were born in Sanctum, which fortunately happened more frequently by now, "Ten toes, ten fingers, what did you spot?"

"You won't believe," Murphy said and turned his kid onto his belly. He took the blanket away and just over Jerry's tiny naked butt was a little tail-like nub. Jackson couldn't contain a quiet huff.   
"I'm sorry," Jackson apologized for laughing, as he should, since that was Murphy's kid they were talking about. "Clarke should have told me."  
"Clarke knows how to shut her cakehole." 

Murphy draped the blanket around his son once again and took him over to Emori, who was just waking up.   
"Is he healthy?" she asked, always scared something more than a little special feature could be wrong with their offspring. 

He was scared too, because they were challenging fate every time by bringing yet another kid to this world. Both of them hadn‘t had the healthiest pasts.  
Murphy had a history of sickness as a kid and there had been more times in his live were he‘d gone hungry than times where his belly had been full of nutritious food. Emori too, and the gene defect that was responsible for her hand seemed to be highly heredity, resulting in the different special spots their kids spotted. But for now their kids were all healthy and happy, not harmed by what their mother had passed on to them. 

Murphy and Emori had decided to take the risk for the blessing of the big family they longed to have. They hoped it wasn‘t to selfish and that some kid that wasn‘t born yet would pay the price for what they longed for. 

"Fit as a butchers dog." Murphy once again took off the blanket and laid him down on Emori's equally naked chest. Skin to skin contact was what they always did with their little ones. Murphy would have never imagined, but despite all the chaos their horde was bringing onto their life, they were pretty good parents. 

All kids were still alive, no broken bones, no one got lost. Not bad at all, Murphy grinned and stroked over the back of his new son, while Jackson looked over his shoulder, as a doctor not at all tempted by the scene in front of him. And Murphy knew Emoris breast didn‘t turn Jackson on at all, playing for the other team and all that.  
"For real, Murph? Don't make fun about your own kid,“ Jackson said. 

"What do you mean?" Emori's voice was tired, so he took her hand and directed it to Jerry's special feature. When she felt it, she stilled.   
"You think it's ugly," she said sluggishly but with all the wariness he knew from back when he met her in the desert. Back when the world hated her for how special she was. Emori grabbed at their son with both or her hands and took him out of his grasp. 

"Whoa, 'Mori. Nothing about any of our kids is ugly." Murphy leaned over and kissed her hand that was draped protectively over Jerry's lower back. He felt her slowly relaxing. "He is badass. You all are."  
“So you love him!” Emori sometimes had to made sure of that, when she felt vunerable.  
“Of course, I will love you all forever.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Comments make me very happy 😛😬


	6. The greatest star migration of this goldilocks zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a few days since the last chapter. The story is already finished with 22 Chapters (not promising not to add more). What I‘m doing while uploading is filling the story with more life due to your suggestion and wishes and ideas that strike me along the way. 
> 
> This chapter is almost a whole filler chapter, thus no more babies but getting to know the five that are already born and enjoying our main heroes from the show.

6 Years and 9 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Living on a moon wasn’t that different from loving on Planet Earth. The athmosphere of this moon, Sanctum - or rather alpha, they weren‘t really sure themselves if the city of the moon was supposed to be called Sanctum - was alike to earth. It lay in the goldilocks zone, making it habitable for human beings. 

Josephine was even wrong, all those decades ago: there were more than four evolutunary branches of lifeforms. There were lots and lots of animals. All the people that were travelling the moon, like Jordan and Hope and Madi and her boyfriends documented and classified them. The stories they told when they visited home were awesome. One day, when all his kids were old enough, Murphy would like to travel and see a bit himself, but for now he was content to let others be explorers. 

One thing that was definitly different between Earth and Sanctum was the amount of stars one could see from the ground. Most of his life Murphy had lived among the stars. Stargazing through the windows on the Ark and later on the Ring had been one of his favorite pasttimes. Not that there had been man to choose from. 

So, when Raven came to their house, one random night to take them stargazing, his body was shaking with exitement. He hadn‘t even known before how much he missed the illuminated nightsky. 

Raven had Bellamy and Echo with her. Sitting next to them on the grass behind his house, Emori cuddled to his side, it occured to him that they were what was left of Spacekru. Their family had been bigger once. Murphy missed Monty and Harper. But he also knew what a blessing it was that the five of them made it here. 

„Raven,“ Emori piped. She sounded sweet and tired. They both were. Having 5 kids six and younger did it to you. Murphy couldn‘t remember not being at least a little bit tired. „There are no stars.“

She was right. Sometimes there were a few, far far away and almost so small the human eye couldn‘t spot them. But there had never been such a starlit sky he was used from outer space or even from the ground. 

Tonight he couldn‘t spot a single star. The sky looked almost misty, even if it hadn‘t rained today. It was still warm, a beautiful spring night in fact.  
„Just wait and see.“ Raven laid backwards in the grass, her face full of anticipation and confidence. So Murphy followed her down to the ground, dragging Emori with him. Her head was bedded on his shoulder. This was nice. 

Murphy shared a grin with Bellamy, who afterwards just shoke his head and pulled Echo down with him, holding her slander hand within his big ass fingers. Murphy was happy they made it. It hadn‘t looked good for them all those years ago when they came back through the anomaly. They never really told about all the horrors they experienced on the other planets but Raven told them some of hers. About how vast the halls of Bardo were. How cold and scary the planet Nakara was. And about how strange your body felt if you travelled the anomaly for the first time. Afterwards it gets better but the human body was clearly not meant to travel through wormholes. At least it hadn‘t done them harm, Murphy thought. He still wasn‘t keen to ever try it out himself. 

„It starts“, Raven said. „Look.“  
And Murphy looked. The misty fog in the air vanished, not extactly at light speed but faster than he was used to. Behind the foggy curtain was a clear sky, the darkest shade of blue but sprinkled with hundreds and hundreds of stars. It was unbelievably beautiful. 

„You can only see them once, maybe twice a year and it‘s only for a couple of hours each time,“ Raven explained.  
„How did we miss it?“ Echo whispered and Raven laughed out loud. Happy and carefree and so full of herself.  
„We didn‘t look, but they were always there. Each year. I‘m sure. I even timed it to show you. The atmosphere must contain exactly the right amount of Sanctonium. Only then the fog you have just seen will form. It is the harbinger of the greatest star migration of this goldilocks zone.“

„It‘s awesome,“ Emori rolled over onto her back, enterwining her normal hand with his.  
„Just wait. If everything goes like last time, they will stop moving in a few minutes and then you will see ...“ Raven stopped rambling, as they all watched the stars wandering through the night sky. 

They became slower after a while.  
„Look!“ Raven told them and Bellamy noticed first. „These are constellations.“  
„Yes! And those are the exact same ones like the last three times.“  
„You have seen it three times?“ Emori got up to hover over her best friend. „Three times and you haven‘t gotten me earlier.“

Raven shushed her, earning herself a stormy glare. Emori loved stars and she had missed them greatly. Murphy remembered how awed he had been after her first skywalk. She had told him hours about the stars, hours about being weightless in space, hours about how out of this world cool Raven was for making this possible for her. Murphy never once skywalked, not even after Raven offered it to all of them. He wondered if Echo regretted saying no as much as he did. 

„I wanted to be sure,“ Raven explained. She took Emoris big hand in hers, dragging her down to lie backwards on the grass again. With her other hand Raven directed to the sky.  
„I already named some of them. This is the big rhombos.“ 

Murphy saw four stars, which imitated the shape of the diamonds on the deck of cards, with which they played Go Fish all the time on the Ring.  
„Is there a small rhombos?“ Echo snickered.  
„Sure there is. See there!“ Raven pointed to the left, where four other stars formed the same constellation, just smaller. 

„How do you call that?“ Emori motioned to another group of stars. „Fish?“  
„No.“ Raven laughed and it looked like she was squeezing Emoris bare badass hand. Murphy was so happy about Raven touching her mutation without any sign of hesistation. „It‘s the blue marlin, do you see the spear in the front?“

„Thank you, Raven,“ Emoris voice was thick. Murphy knew how much this night meant to her. The stars in the sky, Raven holding her hand, laying here with what was left of Spacekru. 

„I haven‘t named all,“ Raven said. „I wanted you to name some. We can teach the kids next time.“  
„This one looks like the orion, we could see from earth,“ Bellamy explained. Murphy remembered him knowing all the freaking constellations. He was such a nerd. Usually Murphy would tell him, but the moment was to nice for jokes. Who would have thought, that even he might grew up some. 

„Orion was a hunter, right?“ Echos sounded peaceful. Stargazing kinda did that to you, Murphy thought. He closed his eyes, just for a minute, trying to memorize this moment. God, he turned into such a sap.  
„He was. The godfather of hunting. Orion was sure to capture every animal of the surface of Earth.“  
„Hompleihef,“ Echo whispered. Murphy smiled, even if he didn‘t knew the word he‘d make out the sound of trigedasleng in a second.  
„It means huntsman,“ Emori said. „I like it. Let‘s call it Hompleihef.“

„Nobody but Wonkru will understand.“ Raven sounded unsure. Murphy knew that she wanted everyone to experience her discovery.  
„We could teach the kids in school,“ Bellamy said. „Maybe the parents will want to learn too or you know, future generations might all learn.“

„What a great idea!“ Emori sounded elated. Even if she‘d been abadoned, she was still of grounder origin. The language was part of who she was. Echo too.  
„We can hold onto it. Honor our dead brothers and sisters,“ she said and Bellamy kissed her cheek. It was sweet. 

„Alright, it‘s Hompleihef,“ Ravens pronounciation was bad. She hated that even Murphy was better at trig than her. Raven wasn‘t used to not excell in something. So when Murphy laughed at her, she shoot him a death glare. „Can we name the next one in english please? Or latin for all I care.“ 

They all laughed. It was nice. Really really nice. Murphy squeezed Emoris hand, before she raised both to point to another group of stars.  
„It looks like your bow, Echo,“ she said. It really did. It was beautiful. All of this was. Murphy sighed. If anyone told him life would turn out like this, lying in the grass, stargazing on a moon lightyears away from where he was born, his friends by his side, his wifes hand in his and his kids - his kids! - asleep in his hous behind him - he would have pounced the person for taunting him. Even if his imagination could’ve provided him with this image, this life would’ve never seemed possible. 

6 Years and 10 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Lex was six when he slept at Clarkes Farmhouse for the very first time. They had always lots of voluntary babysitters and the kids loved them but until now none of them had yet felt ready to slept elseway, away from the rest of their family. 

Clarke was definitly Lex favorite aunt. He loved Picasso, the sweet old dog, he loved Clarkes dry humor. He loved to play hospital with her, wrapping her arms in bandages and listening to her heartbeat with her stetoskop from work. Lex loved when Clarke dyed their blond hair with the juice from deep red berries. 

Clarke promised him to do all the fun things with him today and to take him home if he missed his parents to much. Clarke knew enough about missing people. They all lost people they loved, but Clarke might have lost the most, Murphy admitted. He never wanted Finn to die, Lexa, Abby. He might have wished death to Wells Back when they first came to the ground, an eye for an eye for an eye. What a terrible shame. 

Murphy sighed. At least Clarke missed Madi now, because Madi had the time of her life, exploring the moon with her two boyfriends. 

Murphy looked into Lex bedroom. It was empty. He couldn’t even imagine how Clarke must feel, when she saw Madis room, empty night after night.

Murphy had grown used to Lex being there. It was the smell of warm cotton that never really left him. It were his quiet puffs of breath when he was dreaming real deep. It was his grin, his blue blue eyes, that little plush dog that sat on his bed watching over him. 

The other kids were home and already peacefully asleep in their beds. Murphy loved them all equally, he truly did without a doubt, but the house felt strangely empty without Lex being there. Lex changed who he was. He made him a father. Since the day Lex was born, Murphy felt a connection he never felt before. That instant love. It was the same for Olive and Otis, for Gail and Jerry. He loved them before they were even born and when they opened their eyes, grabbed his finger and made their very first sound he was drawn. 

Murphy thought back to the first days on the ground and how Bellamy told him he needed someone to help him run things. Of course Emori and Murphy where the ones to be in charge at home, being the parent and all. But somehow Lex was their partner in crime. As the oldest he kinda helped them run things. Murphy felt bad to compare it, but in some ways it was true, wasn‘t it?

Lex was a role model. Children formed their first view of the world according to what their parents exemplified. However, there was no one to show them clearly how right or wrong their parents' world view was. Murphy thought that this was a lie. Truth to be told, it was Lex who set an example to his younger siblings. He was the first measure by which his siblings could gauge how trustworthy their parents were. 

Murphy closed the door to Lex bedroom, when he heard tippling footsteps on the hallway floor. He saw Gails wild head full of hair disappier behind his own bedrooms door. Murphy decided to check on the twins before joining Emori there. 

Otis was looped around his big bright dotted pillow. He was snoring softly, hand craddled in the fur of his teddy bear.  
Olive smiled in her sleep, her chest rising and falling softly. Murphy pressed a kiss to both their heads and pulled their thin blankets up again, before going to his room. In a crib next to Emoris side of the bed slept Jerry. 

He was such an easy and quiet baby, he loved to eat and slept. But Murphy supposed after the force that Gail had been from the first day she opened her mouth, the stress of tending to twins and the novelty of being new parent when Lex was born, almost every kid would be a walk in the park. Yet Murphy was lucky is was Jerry. He loved the little man to pieces already. Murphy grinned to Emori and strolled over to the crib, to watch his youngest son and kiss his forehead. 

Afterwards he crawled into bed next to Emori. She was still awake, stroking Gails forehead with the fingertips of her normal hand, then down to the tip of her nose and up again.

Gails eyes were closed, but when Murphy made himself comfortable next to his wife and his youngest child she wiggled until her foot touched his belly. Murphy petted her toes and up to her ankle. Gail wasn’t ticklish at all, she was rather like a cat that wanted to be patted. It was sweet, how his daughter tried to catch Emoris fingertips with the forked tip of her tongue, that little firecracker. She was so little, but she was bursting at the seems with personality. 

Murphy didn‘t knew how he would cope when one day his kids were all grown up and the whole house would be empty again. He’d love Emori forever and he couldn’t wait to spent a night alone with her in the cave he just found in the woods around his house while exploring with his ragtag group of kids, but he was sure that one day, when all his offspring was all grown up, they would be pretty lonely. He just hoped they’d come visit when he was old and withering away with Emori by his side on rocking chairs on their wooden front porch. What a peaceful thing. 

“What are you thinking about?” Emori asked him. He touched her cheek with his hand and grinned up at his wife. It felt nice how she was, after all those years by his side, still interested what was going on inside his head. He knew there had been times, it couldn’t have been easy for her. Murphy was glad his thoughts weren’t as destructive as they had been on the ring. She deserved more than his scared outbursts. Maybe what he gave her now, as a lover, as a dedicated father, came close to all the good things she deserved. 

“Just about how I will love you all forever.”  
Emori made a cooing noise, before poking her daughter softly to the cheek.  
“Should we give daddy a good-night kiss, before we all go to sleep?”  
“Yay,” Gail shriked and jumped on Murphys chest to press a wet kiss to his cheek. Emori smiled softly, while Murphy grunted under his daughters weight. She kissed Murphy softly to the lips, before she grabbed Gail and put her down between herself and her husband.  
“Love you, ‘Mori,” he whispered.  
“I love you, too,” Emori laid her badass hand around her daughter and over Murphys belly. “Forever, John.”

7 Years and 2 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Lex and Otis lay on the sofa, feet tangled together under a soft cotton blanket. They were so close in age, that it wasn’t Lex teaching Otis everything he knew. It was rather both of them, teaching each other the most important life lessons, like how to climb a tree just the right way. 

The closest thing Murphy had to a brother was Bellamy and Bellamy was years older than him. When they first came to the ground, not brothers yet in the slightest, Murphy had looked up to Bellamy, who seemed secure in his role as the leader of one hundred stupid delinquents. It took both of them years to stand on equal footing. 

Lex and Otis were different. Lex taught his little brother how to shoot a goal, how to dribble the ball, he taught him about dogs to a point that Otis knew more about them by now. They always hung out with Picasso, happy to pet and play with the old dog. 

Otis thaught Lex how to build the best sand castles and where to find the biggest tadpoles in the creek in the woods. Both boys had so much to learn from each other and while Lex was the oldest and certainly in some kinds a role model for Otis, both of them being so close in age, made it all that more important that Murphy was there to teach them all the important life lessons a father needed to teach his kids. Murphy just hoped, he knew the right ones. 

Emori and him weren’t a big fan of strict rules. They hated harsh words and punishments. Usually parenting came easy, but they had a wild ragtag group of kids to take care of. So Emori and him tried to teach them how to be kind, they cuddled and kissed them, read them sweet bedtime stories and played with them, whenever they found the time. 

Being kind was the most important thing Murphy had needed years to learn that lesson. Other lessons came easier. 

Raising kids was the most important thing Murphy would ever do in his whole life. He was essentially raising the next generation. All of them did. They were raising the future world leaders and those who were able to continue the idea of forgiveness, unity and kindness on Sanctum. Murphy had needed years to learn those lessons, while his kids were growing up with values like these implimented in their mindset from their earlierst days. 

Other lessons Murphy learnt himself and taught his kids were way easier: It’s okay to cry; belonging to a community is a blessing; it’s not over ‘til it’s over. Murphy was damn sure it was important to teach his kids, that there were words, you couldn‘t ever say enough. Like “I love you”. But he was just as sure that it was also of great significance to show his kids the wonders of the universe. 

So Murphy touched Lex shoulder, waking him softly from his slumber. The boys fell asleep on the sofa.  
“What’s going on, daddy?” he asked in a sleepy voice. He stretched his legs, nudging his little brothers shin.  
“Ey,” Otis complained while opening his eyes in a rush. Murphy made a soothing little sound in the back of his throat and caressed the scarred side of Otis face. 

“I wanna show you something, c’mon boys.” Murphy grabbed Otis under his arms and lifted him up on his hip. Otis was about to turn six this year and he would soon be to heavy to be carried around but now the kid was tired and Murphy liked to carry his children around. It remined him of when they had been babies. 

Otis put his head to his fathers shoulder, while Lex took his outstreched hand. Lex wasn’t that much bigger than Otis, but he was a couple of months older, so tonight he hd to walk himself. Murphy just really wanted to show his boys the nightsky. It seldom looked like tonight. 

Outside it was brighter than usual. The sky was lit with hundreds of little stars.  
“Whoa,” made Lex, eyes suddenly wide open. Otis also raised his head from Murphys shoulder, looking up to the sky.  
“So many,” he whispered awestruck. 

“Aunty Raven said the sky only looks like this maybe once or twice a year,” Murphy explained. The night had to be clear enough to spot the stars on the rare nights they were traveling in flock trough the universe. 

“We should wake Olli and Gail,” Lex said.  
“Mommy too!” Otis wiggled, his body pumped full exitment now, so Murphy let him down, while still holding onto his kids shoulder.  
“No,” he said, crouching down to be on the same level as his boys. “You can show them next time. C’mon, sit. I’ll tell you about the concellations.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I‘m happy about feedback so shoot your opinions at me 😬


	7. People we believed in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)
> 
> I really really like this Chapter, so I hope you will too!  
> We are gonna meet baby Nr. 6 ;)  
> And Nikki, who is one of my favorite new additions of season 7.

7 Years and 3 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Murphy made his way to the city center of Sanctum, where Nikki had her own welding shop. She was always busy, all work and no fun but Murphy met her some evenings in the tavern, when she granted herself a glass of Jo Juice. 

Lately he sometimes saw her leaning against the fence containing Nelson's strange colored chicken and watching him work, too. Murphy just hoped they were dating instead of planning another heist. One was enough for a lifetime. Murphy wasn’t one to hold a grudge - okay, well he was - but Emori told him years ago to be nice and by now even in his eyes Nikki and Nelson had proved that they knew they fucked up that day taking hostages in the palace dining hall. Both were essential for how much Sanctum had progressed. 

While Nelson first was reluctant to even stay near the City Center, he wanted to help, feeling responsible for so many deaths of people he counted as his just mere days earlier. So he worked, harder than most men, and finally a few years ago, life got more quiet and when it was time to settle down, he was at a loss. It was Emoris idea to make a cattlemen out of him. It gave him the chance to stay nearer to the woods, not far from where Murphy and Emori later built their home, and to be useful. Nelson was good with all those animals, even having figured out how to get eggs and milk out of them. Hunger, fortunately, wasn't a problem they knew anymore.   
  
Nikki found herself a purpose as a welder. It was something that connected her to Hatch and her old life spent by her late husband's side. She and Raven still weren't on speaking terms and Nikki left the room whenever Raven was present, but at least she wasn't a deadly trait to Murphys and Emoris best friend anymore. It were the small fortunes that counted. 

"Heya, Emori sent me to get her delivery," Murphy said as he stepped foot into Nikki's welding shop. She put the welder to the side and took off her welding mask, looking him over from head to toe.   
"Is your pregnant lady crazy again? As if you could carry that shit."

"Yeah yeah, I'll find someone to help me, if it's for Emori." The people loved Emori and who would he be to object? Murphy was proud to say, that he had been the first person in Emoris corner. Her had seen her worth long before anyone else realized how wonderful she was.  
  
Nikki went to a table by the side of the room. She had a bottle of water standing on it.  
"Want some?"  
"Nah, I'm only drinking Jo Juice with you. Bellamy and me are going tomorrow, you with us?"

"We'll see. Got a lot to do around here. Mom of the nation is handling around work like crazy." Emori's pregnancy seemed once again like a walk in the park and she was running around all the time doing god knows what. Her latest project concluded in electricity for all houses, which was pretty awesome and had Raven working crazy hours with the Bardoans and the guys of Wonkru who weren't scared anymore of technology, Penn naturally included. 

Early in her pregnancy Emori was even helping with all the tech, seemingly having found herself in the passion of her youth again. She had come home disheveled, dirty and happy as a kite, but when she started showing more of her baby bump, Murphy put a stop to it, even if he felt sad for her. He promised himself, this would be the last kid. 

They were still young - not yet thirty - and Emori should be able to do what she longed for. Murphy knew he was spending more time with his crazy offspring than she was able too. Emori missed a lot of firsts, but she loved them with an intensity that had him know that she didn't regret a damn thing, but still he wanted to offer her the possibility to be something other than a mom or the Chancellor of this Moon.   
  
"About that…" Murphy started, but Nikki put a stop to it: "If she got even more work for me to do she can move her big bump here herself."

"Play nice, Miss Bang Bang. Not here to hand out tasks." Murphy hopped onto the counter of her workbench, almost missing the small screwdriver next to his butt. Now that would have been hilarious to explain to Emori and the doctors in the hospital. 

"You know we are naming our kids after people who meant something to us, people who we believed in. Like Olive with my mom and uhm, Gail with Abby, you knew her, didn't ya?" Nikki looked at him dumbfounded for a moment, then she realized what he was up to and took the welder back into her hands. 

"Get lost," she said, before putting on her mask and turning her back on him, stoically starting to work on her projects again.   
  
— —

The next day Murphy sat in the tavern with Raven, Miller and Bellamy, just his typical drinking buddies for the monthly Friday afternoon he was off of kids duty. Only that Raven wasn't drinking a drop of Jo Juice, when he placed a glass in front of her. 

"You aren't, Reyes," Murphy said and after a moment of her grinning like a lovesick puppy he drew his arms around his best friend. 

"It's gonna be a baby boom on Sanctum soon," Miller said, also grinning and congratulating alongside Bellamy, who agreed: "With O and both of you getting kids soon, Echo and me … Oh"

"You're kidding me!" Raven spoke up and Murphy looked at him like he was crazy.   
"Did you for real just accidentally told us …"

"I was going to tell you, but Echo…,“ Bellamy looked down to his glass, somber suddenly, "She's not handling it well. We didn't exactly plan for it."  
"Echo is great with Olive,“ Murphy said, taking a sip out of his glass. "With all of them. She'll do fine. Parenting is not that hard."

"You're easy to talk," Miller ordered another round. "For real, sometimes Jackson and me, we don't know if you're a Super Dad or not raising them at all. Just yesterday Lex and Otis once again thought it was a good idea to play ball next to Jackson's roses."

Murphy laughed out loud. "Jackson has his panties in a twist again. Are his stupid Roses still standing or do I have to get him new ones again?" Nobody of his wild spawn would ever inherit a damn thing by the amount of things he had to replace for people all around Sanctum. Sometimes it was a wonder, people loved his horde as much as they did, but a lot of the love clearly came from all the things Emori had done for Sanctum. Murphy had worshipped her for ages, but still he could hardly contain how proud he was of her. 

"You're awful, Murph," Bellamy grinned, looking down into his own glass. Murphy grinned too, leaning back and just closing his eyes. It had been a long day; the older kids had wanted to play tag for hours, having him join, even though he wasn‘t fit enough for this shit anymore. 

Jerry, his youngest, was a lovely baby that slept a lot and almost never cried - quite different from Gail who still screamed and laughed as if it was her mission to destroy as many eardrums as possible. But Murphy had to put him into a bath twice today, because he was covered in baby poop like a pig that rolled around in mud. Kids were fun.   
  
"You can do it.“ Murphy opened his eyes in surprise, Nikki standing next to their table, stoically ignoring Raven, as if she wasn‘t even existing. 

"He can do what?“ Miller asked noisily, but Murphy ignored him in favor of standing up and offering Nikki his hand.   
"Thank you. It means a lot. He was a good man.“ Nikki clasps his hand in a firm grip.   
"Thank you too. Glad I didn‘t shoot you back then.“ 

"Gosh, Nikki, grab a glass or get lost," Murphy huffed. Sentiment with others besides Emori was too much for him to handle.

7 Years and 5 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum 

Hatch was born on a cloudy day in the middle of autumn. Murphy and Emori watched him over a dozen times, his little fair-skinned fingers and toes, his ears, his bellybutton (he only had one!), his tongue and every bit of flesh this little human had, but nothing was out of the ordinary. Just a blue eyed, brown haired little handsome and healthy boy. 

Some of their friends took it upon themselves to check the kid over, like there was a challenge going around, who would finally find the special spot of the littlest. In the end it was Gail who did it, when she was throwing a tantrum and one of the little wooden toy horses around, that she loved to play with normally. 

Murphy was petrified when the horse came down upon his four month old little son and it took all self-restraint he had in his bones to not freak out as hell broke loose in his house. Gail shut up for one second before she screamed even louder, after seeing the black blood flowing out of Hatchs forehead, where that stupid horse had hit.

"I killded him,“ she wailed. Murphy ran to his crying baby's side, taking off his shirt on the way to bundle it up and press it against the wound. He knew head injuries were bleeding much heavier than anything else and for an adult this wouldn't even be dangerous but he was scared like he never had been before in his life.

"Lex, get down here!“ he screamed, still pressing the clothes to his baby's head and trying to get his three year old daughter to stop crying: "You didn't kill him. Gail. Gail, look. Please stop crying." Where the hell did she even learn the word kill? He really had to be more careful about which words he and all of their friends were saying around the kids.

"What's going on, Dad?" Lex, seven now and by far the best big brother Murphy could ever wish for his horde of kids, stood next to the stairs. When he saw the blood on Murphy's discarded shirt and on his baby brother he instantly went to Gail and took her hand, stroking over her little fingers.

"What can I do, Dad?“ he said teary eyed himself.  
"Take her upstairs to Olive and Otis and come back down, okay Lex? I need you to be a big boy now."  
"Look, Gaily. Daddy has it all under control. Wanna come play with me and Olive and Otis upstairs? Come on, Gaily."  
  
Murphy, finally having a moment to clear his head without Gail constantly screaming into his ears, stood up with Hatch in his arms, the shirt still pressed tightly to the wound. Hatch still sobbed with small hiccups in between. His poor baby must be in so much pain.

"Daddy?“ he heard Lex's little voice, once again standing next to the stairs. Murphy willed himself to be level-headed and told his oldest: "Jerry is sleeping upstairs. I need you to watch over him and all your siblings."

"But Daddy, I've never …" He could hear the tears in his voice again. Lex shouldn't have to shoulder that responsibility. But naturally, hell would break loose, exactly then when nobody was over to entertain Murphy's crazy offspring.

"Lex. I need you to be a big boy now, remember?“ Murphy said. He couldn't wait any longer. Hatch was still wailing, but his sobs became more quiet. He was losing too much blood, so Murphy ran out of the door. His heart was heavy, leaving his other kids behind, but this couldn't happen. He couldn't lose one of his babies. Not now, not ever. 

God, Murphy thought, as he ran into town to get to the hospital. What had they done? Six kids! How the hell should he keep them safe, when the next enemy rose or when the world was ending again? He would never cope losing any of them.  
  
"Murphy!,“ Jackson exclaimed as soon as he ran into the hospital, screaming for a doctor, for Clarke, for Jackson.  
"Give him to me. Come on, what happened?" Jackson grabbed for Hatch, taking over pressing the cloth onto the wound, while entering one of the surgical rooms.

"An accident,“ Murphy painted. "Gail was… she was … her fucking toy horse."  
Jackson called for two other women. One of them helped him close the wound on the babies forehead with six stitches, while the other went on to insert a tube into Murphy's forearm, after Jackson told them they had the same blood type, as if that wasn't obvious by the black stains on his hands.  
  
Murphy sat quietly by Hatchs bedside, still ashen by the thought that his baby almost died of blood loss, even after Jackson told him that everything was fine. He checked Hatch over and it seemed as if the kid didn't even had a concussion. Just a lot of freakily, black blood. 

Murphy shook his head. All his kids had red blood before, he knew that there was a slight possibility of inheriting the nightblood but the chance wasn't high, Clarke told them when Emori was pregnant with Lex. Fuck, Lex.

"Jackson,“ Murphy hollered again, not ready to leave his babies bedside. It didn’t take Jackson more than a couple of seconds to come running into the room. He instantly checked Hatch's wound and the general condition of the baby, but Murphy interrupted him: “Can you find Emori and tell her to go home? The other kids are alone still and it’s over half an hour.” Poor Lex must be frightened. Murphy really had to make it up to him.

Jackson closed his eyes for a second and Murphy braced himself for a lecture. He knew he shouldn’t have left his kids at home alone and he should have thought about telling someone the second he came into the hospital but he was so scared. Murphy knew he deserved Jackson telling him, what a bad father he was. He blamed himself for today more than anyone else ever could.

“I’ll get Emori to come here and I’ll send someone over to get Nate to watch the kids. You stay and take care of your boy, right Murphy?” Jackson said instead and clasped his shoulder for a few short seconds.  
  
When Emori arrived just a few minutes later she instantly went to Hatch's other side and stroked his cheek. She had tears in her eyes, as she kissed his little fingers. To see their baby with stitches on his forehead and sleeping of the little bit of pain medication Jackson gave him was beyond frightening.

“What happened to him, John?”, Emori asked without looking up from their baby boy.  
“Gail threw her toy horse and it hit him. I’ll get rid of that thing later, I promise and I won’t …”

“Don’t you dare promise me it won’t ever happen again, John,“ Emori said, but her voice wasn’t angry. She came around the too big hospital bed and hugged him from behind.

“Children get hurt, John.”  
“I left the others alone.”  
Emori hugged him even harder now.  
“John, you did what you thought was necessary and I trust you.”  
“You shouldn’t.” Murphy freed himself out of her embrace and stood. He looked down at his small son, before he closed his eyes and went to leave the room. He had to go home, check that someone was with his other kids and then … what then?  
  
— —

Miller and Bellamy were with his kids and Murphy was glad the see them safe and sound. When he went into the kitchen all sat around the big table eating their dinner.

“All good, Murph?,“ Bellamy asked him and Murphy nodded. On the way home he promised himself he would be calm for the sake of the children he loved more than life itself. 

“Yeah, he is sleeping. Emori is with him.”  
“Daddy?”, Lex's voice was unsure and quiet, so Murphy went to him and kissed his head.

“I’m so proud of you,“ he said and looked over the table. Otis was the only one still eating - just like he always did - Olive was sitting on Bellamy's knee, while Miller rocked the sleeping Jerry. Gail held her fork in her tiny fist but before Murphy was even thinking about taking the sharp object out of that little devil's hand, she let it clatter to the table and ran straight into his legs.

“I’m sorry, daddy”, she wailed before he could even scoop her up. When he held her in his arms, she was still sobbing dramatically. How one little girl could have so much temper in her body, he would never understand.

“Gail, baby-girl, stop screaming, yeah?”, he whispered into her ear. Sometimes being whispered at, got her to quiet down a bit. When she sobbed quietly into his shoulder, he sat down on her discarded stool.

“It’s not your fault, Gilly okay?”  
“You still love me, Daddy?,“ she mumbled and he kissed her tear-streaked cheek.  
“I will love you forever.” Murphy hid his own face behind his daughter's wild curls. All of you, the thought, forever.  
  
— —

The kids were all in bed before the sun went down, thanks to the help of Miller and Bellamy and the excitement of the day that wore them down. Miller went home after the kids were asleep. It had been dumb of Murphy not to get him before running off to the hospital since they were particularly neighbors but reflecting on how he acted today, he knew he had been dumb with fear. 

He was still afraid, sitting on the wooden porch of his home. He had never thought he would have all this. To lose it - any of it, but most of all Emori and his kids - was an impossible thought. It just never occurred to him before that it might not had been sane of them to get so many kids. Or Children in general. Maybe those people who didn't trust the peace Emori promised were right. Maybe they should stop repopulating the human race.

"Scoot, Murph,“ Bellamy said, as he sat down next to him, with his back to the wall. They were much too old to sit like this - both over thirty, soon both fathers - but the ground seemed like a better choice than the wooden furniture in front of them.

"Leave it alone, Bell,“ Murphy looked straight ahead to the woods. He could have chosen a different life with Emori. Maybe he would have, if he hadn't decided to play hero alongside her all those years ago when Sheidheda massacred so many of the people they secretly grew to care about. Maybe they would have, if Emori hadn't gotten to be the Chancellor of this freaking planet. 

They could have lived in the woods. Only them, surviving and exploring. Sometimes he thought maybe Jordan and Hope, who had been too hurt by the world to stay in one place, had made the right decision to go and never come back for more than a couple of days to stock up on supplies and say hello.

"We are way beyond this, man,“ Bellamy said, softly huffing. "So tell me, what brought back the Grump of the Ring?"  
"Fuck you!,“ Murphy closed his eyes and leaned his head against the outer wall of his house. "Go home to your wife."

"You know what's funny, Murph?" Bellamy, of course, didn't go home. Murphy should have known better than to think he would leave him to grump in peace. He never had since he proclaimed they were family up in space. "At home, I'm having this exact same discussion at least once a day, if you wanna call it a discussion. It's me talking and Echo … well not talking."

Murphy refused to say anything. He knew what Bellamy wanted. Every time Murphy heard or saw how hard Echo was with herself and her pregnancy, how much she was struggling, he always told her and anyone that she would be a great mom. He was sure of that. Echo was his sister, also since Bellamy proclaimed them all family on that stupid Remnants of the Ark, and he knew that she was just scared. Scared to be not good enough with all that trauma in her body, in her head. 

Murphy would never fully understand what happened on Skyring and even less what happened on Bardo, but he knew that they would all be fine. He just was that guy now, optimistic most of the time. Because he had enough good reasons to be.

"But lately it has gotten better,“ Bellamy continued. "She starts to feel it more, I think. And she may start to believe us. Believe you. Do you know that you are the one who tells her the most that she will be great?"

"She will be,“ Murphy mumbled. "But that has nothing to do with me and how I fucked up today."  
"So, you fucked up. You'll fuck up again. But they still love you, right?"  
"You're a sap, Bellamy"  
  
"But he is right," Murphy looked up. Emori leaned against the porches railing, Hatch quietly but awake in her arms. She came to them and sunk down next to Murphy, her head instantly on his shoulder. "I still think you're someone worth believing in."  
Murphy wasn't ashamed of the tears in his eyes, as Emori handed their little boy over into his arms. "And you're not allowed to leave us. We need you."  
"Emori…,“ Murphy said, his voice crackling in warning.

"Yes, John. I'm pregnant. Again. No, Bellamy. You're not allowed to laugh or say any damn word about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You liked it? Or not?  
> Either way, leave a commet and tell me why 😏


	8. The time of commanders is long over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)
> 
> You‘re up for a bittersweet chapter. I really like how this one turned out. As you know I‘m a big fan of Gail, so I like that she get‘s a bit of extra attention today. 
> 
> Also there will be Baby Nr. 7, so hurry up an read. There are things happening that are long overdue, I promise!

7 Years and 11 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Murphy had struggled a while after the day they found out Hatch had nightblood. At first it was because his baby had to get stitches. Happens to all parents, he came to realize and when Otis managed to break his freaking leg while climbing on a tree just a few weeks later Murphy was almost a champ at handling hospital trips with his children. It might have helped that Emori was home that day but he got calmer afterwards and could bask in his happiness of getting another baby in a few months, until he freaked out some night in spring, when he fully realized that Hatch was a nightblood. 

"'Mori, wake up,“ he said, while shaking his wife's shoulder. She had been snoring slightly but sweet and she spoke with a rumble still in her voice: "What's going on, John?"  
"He is a nightblood."  
"What?,“ she asked unintelligently, so he said it again.  
"I know, John. What is wrong with that? It's just another special feature, right?"

"Wrong,“ he said, panic in his voice. When exactly had he become a helicopter mom? "He is in danger because of it."  
"John, the time of commanders is long over. Nobody wants to go back to the old ways."

"I'm not talking about stupid commanders." Murphy touched her neck with his fingertips. "He is in danger because those still exist."  
"The Mind Drives?,“ Emori asked, now finally realizing what he meant.  
"They'll survive us," she said. "All of us, maybe. So you're scared, that when we die, he might get body snatched?"  
"Yeah or i don't know, okay 'Mori? But because of somebody having or wanting nightblood or wanting somebody who has nightblood - whatever - we almost got killed more than once."

"Stop, John. You're panicking. Breathe. Come on, breathe with me." He did it. He knew it was a panic attack, but he also thought he had good reasons for that. Remembering the day he pumped Ontari´s black heart, remembering Becca's Lab and how Emori almost got killed by Clarke for the cause of getting nightblood for the human race, he remembered hanging at the stakes, almost getting burned because they didn't have nightblood. It has always been about the color of their blood. And now his son was in danger because of the black blood he inherited.

"Breathe, John." And he breathed. Again. And stop. And again until he was calm enough and Emori laid in his arms.  
"We can get them taken out, after our girl is born."  
"A girl, huh?,“ he asked. Still a little bit out of breath from his panic attack.

"Yeah, Clarke told me just today. I wanted to surprise you on the weekend." She sometimes did that, surprising him with some news. Some of the times Emori did something simple as bringing chocolate home only for them to share, hiding in the bedroom, so the kids couldn‘t try to steal their sweets - they got enough treats as it were. Other times she would organize someone to babysit their horde so Murphy and her were able to go to the woods for one night. 

They still loved to be outside, just them and the forest. They even found some caves and making love there always made them feel young. Caves still were their thing. They fell in love that way. And they loved to go out after they made love, stargazing at an almost starless sky until they got sleepy. Murphy found that if they squinted their eyes enough the nightsky looked just like it had been on earth. 

"Do we already have a name?" Sometimes it had been one of them to come up with a name, that meant something, not seldom while being away on date night in the woods. Other times they had to think and talk for a while.

"I want to honor Monty and Harper. I'm ready now. Are you, John?" she asked, while stroking his soft belly. He was still slim, but his belly got a little pudge now that he was over thirty and hunger wasn't a threat anymore. Murphy grinned. Emori was still hot as hell, even after birthing their horde of wild children.

"Yeah, let's do it then. It's time, right? Could be the last one."  
"Do you want it to be the last?"  
"I don't know. Do you?"  
"Maybe." He felt her shrug against his shoulder. "But this time next year i'm gonna be in my last month as Chancellor. I'm not doing a fourth period."

"You're not?"  
"No. It's not as stressful as it used to be, but I want to be home more. So yes, John. Maybe I even want more children in the future."

Murphy laughed. "Let's at least stop while we're still below the double digits, deal?"  
She laughed too. "Deal, John."

8 Years after the Massacre of Sanctum

Gail struggled a while, too. She wasn‘t playing with her wooden animal toys, instead she sat at the big table mimiking Olive as she was coloring. 

Olive and Gail were as different as night and day. His oldest daughter, six and a half years old now, was the calmest kid he knew. She wasn‘t shy, not insecure, not even really quiet, but she was as calm as the summer sea, waves lapping softly to the sandy shore. 

Olive loved to draw, she really liked to play house with her siblings and even more to pick flowers with her best friend Sadie. Since starting school last summer she really grew to love reading. Lately Murphy often saw her absorbed in a book. She even started to read for herself on some nights instead of listening to her parents goodnight stories. 

Gail loved being read to, but for the past week she followed her older sister to their bedroom while Murphy and Emori cuddled the boys on the big parent bed, before reading them a bedtime story. Murphy wanted to follow her from the very first day, but Emoris hand on his arm stopped him. She was right, sometimes kids needed a bit of time for themselves and she didn‘t seem troubled or sad. Maybe she just wanted to copy Olive. Sometimes little siblings did that, Bellamy assured him on their monthly friday night in the tavern. Octavia did it all the time, back when he was still hiding her on the Ark. 

But after a few nights nothing Emori could have said or done would hold him back from following his little daughter. Emori kissed him, before he left their bedroom.  
„Take care of her,“ she said. „If you need me, come and get me, okay?“  
„‘Course,“ he said and walked over to the girls room. Gail laid in her bed, back to the door and hiding behind her blanket. Only her curly head full of hair stuck out. Olive sat on the foot of Gails bed, quietly reading her book but still sticking close to her little sister. 

„Olli,“ he adressed his older daughter. „You wanna go over to mom and help her read the others a bedtime story.“  
„Sure,“ the little girl said, perceptive as an eagles eye. She grabbed her book, pressed a kiss to his cheek and hugged him. 

„Gail is sad,“ she whispered.  
„I know,“ Murphy said.  
„And she‘s angry.“ Murphy sighed, hugging Olive close. She was such a pure soul. Murphy loved all his kids, equally. He really did. But he also understood their differences. He embraced their unique personalities, their quirks and characteristics. Olive was truly a good person. Her hug calmed his nerves. He was scared of having failed Gail. 

Murphy sat down by the foot of Gails bed, touching her foot under the blanket.  
„Hi, baby girl,“ he said, but Gail was quiet. Her silhouette under the duvet was way bigger than her little body. Murphy grinned. Of course she hugged her plushys close. Gail was such an affectionate child. She needed attention and touch, cuddles and people around her. Murphy felt bad. He should be the one to comfort her, not her stuffed animals. 

He felt as if he really really failed her. Gail was a force to behold. People always told him, they didn‘t knew, a girl her age could be that loud. Her laughter, her tantrums, everything was louder. But in the weeks after she hurt her little brother she tried to contain herself. He should have seen it right from the start, but he struggled himself. Maybe Gail and him were quite similar in how they dealt with anger and sadness. She retreated, just like he always used to do. 

At first Murphy didn‘t even realized what she was doing but now as he sat by her bedside he took note of her strange behavior in the past weeks. It was like her body was crackling with electricty. Even now as she was hiding behind her blanket. Murphy could almost feel it on his fingertips while patting her foot beneath the duvet. 

„Hi, baby girl,“ Murphy said. At first Gail was not moving, but when he asked her „What‘s wrong, Gilly?“ she pulled back her foot. Still she stayed quiet. 

„You know,“ Murphy took a chance. „I felt awful the day Hatch got hurt.“ Gail shifted under the blanket, her head poking out a bit more. He spotted her glancing at him from the corner of her eye. She had always been a noisy one. 

Murphy remembered he had been quiet, almost shy, when he was her age. His father was often the only one who could coax him out of his little shell. Later on, confinement made him rowdy, only the hard ones survived. His shyness had to make room for sarcasm. Murphy realized soon that his fists didn‘t help him out much, but even if he was slow at reading, he could outsmart almost anyone. He was a trickster long before he became that strange sorta hero the Sanctum days made out of him. 

„I felt like it was my fault,“ Murphy told his soon to be five-year-old daughter. He heard Gail mumble something inaudible into the fabric of her blanket.  
„What did you say, baby girl?“ When she didn‘t answer, Murphy patted her shin below the duvet. This time she didn‘t pull back. Instead she streched out her leg, until her little toe pocket out of the blanket and touched his leg. 

Murphy took that as a cue to seek out more contact, hoping his cuddles could soothe her worries. He scooted up, until he sat next to her instead of by her feet. Softly he picket her up, careful to leave her body curled around her stuffed animals and huddled inside of the blanket. If the fabric comforted her, he didn‘t want to take it away. 

Gail stilled for a moment, her body rigid in his grip, but then all of a sudden - like a stroke of lightning setting her on - she hugged him back. Murphy pulled the blanket right again, kissing the curly head of his little girl.  
„Tell me again, what you said, Gilly.“  
„I said,“ she hiccupped. „It was my fault.“

„It really wasn‘t.“ Murphy winced. Deep inside he knew that she blamed himself but hearing his small daughter tell him was heartbreaking. He hugged her tighter.  
„I throwded the toy.“ What a stubborn little thing.  
„You did throw the toy,“ Murphy agreed. „And you shouldn‘t do that ever again. But did you want to hurt Hatch when you threw it?“

„No!“ Gail shook her head like the wild thing she was.  
„See. I knew that. So it‘s not your fault, baby.“  
„Whose fault is it, daddy?“  
„Maybe nobodys,“ Murphy told her, even if it still felt like it was his fault. He should have been more attentive, he should protect his kids better. But he said: „It was an accident“ to soothe Gails guilt. 

Strangely it worked. Even if he worried sometimes about not being good enough for his kids, he knew that he was good an consoling them. Cuddles and sweet words, attention and his unfailable support were the cure of many aches. He might still think, that he was not doing a good enough job of protecting them - and that thought haunted him - but he knew he was quite alright at making them feel loved. 

„Daddy?“ Gail asked, almost meek but she already sounded so much more like herself. „Can you read me a story?“  
„Don‘t you want to come and listen to mommys?“  
„No wanna yours.“ Murphy grinned. He knew she just wanted to have him to herself for tonight. Gail was often a little daddies girl. She‘d always been and he liked to indulge her. 

So Murphy grabbed a book from the bedside table.  
„Do you want this one?“ he asked. He wondered if she had looked at it alone for the past couple of evenings. She was far from being able to read. Gail would start school after the summer, but she was not really interested in writing her own name just yet. All the others could before they started school. Gail could already do a handstand on her own and she ran almost as fast as her older brothers. 

Murphy sat with his back against the headboard, Gails curly head propped against his tight, as he read her a bedtime story. When she was fast asleep and snoring softly, he put her head softly on her own pillow and rightened her blanket. She looked at ease. He was glad to have been able to put that look on his little girls face. 

Murphy made his way over to his own bedroom. They had two cribs over by the wall across the window. Hatch and Jerry slept in them, but Murphy was sure they‘d relocate Jerry just shortly after his birthday to his own room. For now it was still empty, since the older kids liked to share with either their brother or sister. Maybe they‘d try and get Hatch to sleep there too, even if all the other kids only went after they turned two. Murphy thought he might, the way he was clinging to Jerry all the time. Those little boys were like two peas in a pot. 

Olive and Lex were asleep on his and Emoris bed, while Otis cuddled up to his mom, who still read the bedtime story with a soft voice. Murphy grabbed Olive first to carry her over to her own bed. He put the duvet over her and kissed her head, without her waking up. Murphy felt blessed with his sweet sweet kids. 

He went back to pick up Lex, who got quite heavy, being seven and a half now, but Murphy loved to carry him to bed the rare nights he fell asleep somewhere else. Lex would always stay his little baby, they all would, but Lex was the first newborn he ever held. It still felt special to carry him, knowing that, somehow.  
„You coming, sweet boy?“ he asked Otis, who nodded, pressed a kiss to his mothers cheek and grabbed his hand. He was always really affectionate when he was tired. 

„Be right back,“ Murphy told Emori and got the boys to their beds.  
„Sleep well, Ots. Love you.“  
„You too, daddy!“  
Murphy kissed his boys forehead, doing the same for Lex, who opened his eyes at it.  
„Heyya Daddy,“ he mumbled.  
„Hi, Lexi. Close your eyes again, it‘s bedtime.“  
„I know,“ Lex said, voice ladden with sleep. „Love you forever, daddy.“  
Murphy grinned. He‘d never thought that all his kids would copy his little declaration of love, but it felt good to see how take took his best parts and employed them them for themselves. He just hoped they‘d never follow his darker paths. 

Murphy stroked over his sons head and pulled his blanket up a bit more, not caring that it was summer and the blanket would most likely end up by the foot of the bed.  
„Love you, too, Lex. Both of you,“ Murphy said and grinned. „Forever.“

He closed the door behin himself, making his way to bed. Emori was still laying down, now with Hatch on her arm. He was suckling at her breast. Emori stopped breastfeeding usually within the first year and she only did it at night. For the day they used formula and whatever Emori pumped with her selfdeveloped breast pump. Murphy thought her design was very practical and he knew that she made those for other woman in Sanctum too. 

„All good, superdad?“ Emori said, grinning over at him.  
„Nah, just a normal dad,“ he made, ignoring the blush that creeped up his neck. Sure he loved when she complimented his looks and when she showed him how well he satisfied her in bed, but being complimented in his abilities as a dad made him happy and selfconcious at the same time. 

„I think you‘re awesome,“ Emori told him and Murphy gulped by the sincerity in her voice.  
„You‘re awesome,“ he joked to conceal how emotional he praise made him. He laid his head on her shoulder to gaze at Hatch soft face, as he nursed on his mothers breast. He never tired of watching her mother their children. 

„How is Gail?“  
„Oh,“ Murphy maid, still mesmerized by his youngest. What a blessing that he hadn’t been hurt more by Gails wooden horse. „She blames herself.“  
„She is so much like you,“ Emori said, out of a sudden. „It‘s almost scary.“  
„Scary?“  
„Don‘t get me wrong,“ Emoris said, cooing down at Hatch, softly stroking his cheek. „Daddy is dumb again.“

Murphy made a huffinh sound, kissing Emoris shoulder. He never wanted to scare Emori.  
„She is not that much like me,“ he said meekly.  
„She is!“ Emori laughed. „She is sulking just like you did on the Ring. She is always using all of your nicknames for the others. She even smiles like you do, John.“ Emori touched the side or his face. „But she is as hard to herself as you are to yourself. Both of you need to stop blaming yourselfes.“ 

Murphy kissed the inside of Emoris hand. He never thought it over like this before, but maybe she was right. Maybe sometimes he was too hard on himself. He definitly thought Gail was. She had nothing to blame herself for and in the end everything worked out fine. Hatch was totally okay. He was healthy and content. But still Murphy thought as a father, he kinda had to be hard on himself. Nonetheless if Gail was really so much like him and if Lex and the others took him as a role model sometimes he should really stop it. He didn‘t want his kids to be hard on themselfes. He wanted them to be alright. Happy. He wanted them to have the sweet, sane life they deserved. And he would done his outmost to make sure they got it. 

  
8 Years and 3 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Harmony was born on a day as peaceful as their namesakes had been. She had Murphy's dark brown hair and his fair skin. In fact she looked like a little clone of him, if it wasn't for her left hand that might be a replica of Emoris. It was fun that she looked so much like both of her parents but still so different from her siblings. 

Murphy and Emori loved the first moments of seeing their new baby, time and time again, it was always pure wonder, when they once again realized that they made it. Murphy stroked over his new daughters hand and then over Emoris exposed one. She almost never wore gloves these days. What a wonder that they really made it this far. He was beyond thankful.  
  
Harmony was only three weeks old when Murphy and Emori went to Clarke to talk to her in private about the Mind Drives.  
"We want them out,“ Murphy said.  
"Why now?,“ Clarke asked, full in doctor mode. "Do you have any pain?"

"No. Can you take them out or what?"  
"Of course."  
Clarke took them out in a tiny ambulant operation. It really was only a little, but not exactly painless, cut and out they were. Clarke laid them down in a metallic surgical pan.

"And now?" she asked, kinda dumbfounded still. It wasn't as if Clarke really thought they would body snatch anyone, Murphy hoped. But still they might have shocked her a bit, by wanting them out. That wasn‘t survival mode at all. Cockroach Protocol could kiss his ass if it was the safety of their kids on line. 

"Now I'll bring them to Raven and let her make rings out of the metal."  
"What?"  
"What?,“ he answered back, just slightly annoyed. "Are you deaf, Clarke?"  
"Are you stupid, Murphy?", she had really gotten good at comebacks, he was almost proud. 

"Hey, both of you. Stop it." Emori leaned back into her chair. How she was champ at birthing babies but totally exhausted from that little cut was beyond him, but either way Murphy went to her side and caressed her hand, while Clarke brought over a glass of water.

"It's just that those Mind Drives are among the most developed technologies of the old world. I'm not sure if we should destroy it."

"But we are. And they are ours."  
"Why are you so deadlocked on it?" Clarke asked, while studying the Mind Drives. They really looked a lot like the Flame.  
"They are a danger,“ Emori said quietly, while sipping her water. "For you, Madi, for Echo and us. And for Hatch."

"We need to destroy it, before in some years those become a threat to the human race again. To our children“, Murphy added. Human race. His children. What a thing! 

Clarke grinned, just like she did all those years ago when Murphy and Emori decided to stay in Sanctum and safe their people.

“You became such politicians,“ she said and laughed lighthearted, maybe because she was glad that after all those years in which she had to be the one to bear it, she finally realized that she was just the doctor to take the Mind Drives out and not the one who had to decide what happened to them. This knowledge fit her well. Murphy liked her better that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you say? 
> 
> Tell me your opinions about Memori here, about the kids, about the Minddrives, tell me everything 😊


	9. Do you miss Earth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got to add chapter names, yay! 
> 
> Also this chapter we will finally meet some  
> People who travelled for a bit.
> 
> Have fun reading, I hope you’ll like it!

8 Years and 5 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Murphy sat in the rocking stool by the fireplace. It got cold on Sanctum, as winter was arriving. They never had snow but the temperature sunk below zero some nights. Murphy really appreciated the electric heating and the hot water from the tap but the fireplace was even better. 

He had his two month old daughter on his lap. Harmony was huddled in a thick blanket, her attentive eyes every little gesture he made.   
„You should nap, not watch me make faces at you,“ he told the baby, as if it understood him. Harmony made a gurgling sound, making Emori grin. Murphy liked the weekends she wasn‘t up and around. It was good to have her home. 

She sat on the ground, across the fireplace, playing Memori with Lex. Jerry and Hatch were napping in their own room, Olive was visiting her best friend Sadie. She even slept there last night. It was more thn likely that they‘d have a guest for the next week. Sadie and Olive liked to take turns. Otis was showing off what an awesome big brother he was, playing with Gail and her dolls in the girls room. Since the last summer there were no better playmates for Gail than her older brothers. They got her hooked on soccer and she excelled in it. But she still liked her dolls and Otis was poster brother when it came to entertaining the younger ones. 

“You were born on earth, right mommy?” Lex asked all of a sudden. Emori stopped with her hand on the next card.   
“Yes,“ she said.   
“Do you miss earth, mommy?”  
“Sure, I do. But I like it here more. It’s home.” Emori picked up the card she was touching, before turning another. No match. 

“Yeah I know,“ Lex smartassed, „But what do you miss the most?” He also picked up two of the cards. Both had the picture of a dog on it, so Lex grinned, putting his new Match on his ever growing stack.   
“I think it’s the desert,“ Emori answered after a while. „How the sun sets above the dunes. The sky wasn’t really blue then, but all shades of orange. The sand was still warm but the air got colder every second.”

„Is there a desert here on Sanctum?“  
„It might,“ Emori said. Murphy looked up from new daughters face. That was news for him.   
„You know that Madi and all the others are traveling right? Maybe one day they‘ll find one.“ Murphy sometimes heard about the things Madi, Jordan, Hope and the others discovered but most of Sanctums terrain was forest, turning into jungle the farther you went south. He couldn‘t imagine there to be a desert but the moon was big enough and most probably not even half of it was explored yet. So who knew. 

„That would be cool,“ Lex noted and picked up another pair of cards. Murphy would never get how kids where so much better at this memory game than adults.   
„You‘re losing, mom,“ Murphy said to his wife, grinning down at her.   
„As if you haven‘t lost a hundred times to them already,“ she shot back, making him grin. He had. Not only memory but a lot of board and card games. It was cool how people recreated old games from scratch or thought of new ones for the kids - and to be honest for the adults too - to play. 

„Have we ever told you, that we met in the desert?“ Murphy asked his son. Lex piped up, leaving that one card he turned up as it was, not turning a second one. Instead he looked at his dad, face open with interest.   
„Did you live in the desert to, like mommy?“  
„No, I travelled through it, looking for a new home.“ Or, as he told, when he was just a boy himself, because he had nothing better to do. He was gld he took that leap of faith. In the end in Emori he found his home in the desert. 

„And how did you met mom?“  
„He gave me water,“ Emori told him. „But we parted ways. The next time we saw each other was on an island miles away.“ Murphy shot her a shiteating grin. Of course she left out how she fucked with him. He would definitly mock her with it, but telling his little boy the kidfriendly version was quiet alright with him.   
„And what happened then?“  
„Your mom took me with her on her boat and she, well, she taught me how to survive on earth.”  
“Why?”

“You know that dad was born in space, right?”  
“Sure. On the Ark!” Lex grinned proud.   
“So he was like a baby on earth. Didn’t even know which plants to eat and which to definitly not.” She would so get that back when the kids where in bed. 

“I wanna learn that to!”  
“Oh, we can teach you!” Emori grinned bright and offered: “Next time you can spend a night in the caves with us, if you want.”   
“Really? Just me?”  
“Sure, kid,” Murphy said, poking Harmonys belly. “Let’s just wait a couple of weeks until this pea here is a bit bigger than we get someone to babysit them all.”

“That’s so cool!” Lex said, jumping up and leaning over Harmony.   
“And then one day, I’m gonna find the desert and show them all! When they are big big peas.”  
Murphy laughed out loud, while Lex made grimasses at his joungest sibling. He really had the most awesome kids!

8 Years and 9 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
They married in spring in front of the farmhouse Clarke, Niylah and Gaia lived in like old maids. For real, Murphy wasn’t sure if they were friends with or without benefits, but they were happy either way and that was what counted, right? Gaia had found a new way to live with her faith, years after the age of the flame had ended. 

The People of Sanctum, as Emori finally decided to call them - Sanctumites was what Murphy liked more - had believed in many things - the Flame, False Gods, The Last War For all Mankind, Jesus. There were still so many prayers, phrases like the travelers blessing and even freaking convicts who wanted to celebrate Christmas. A really good thing that came out of it was the receipt of hot Jo Juice they drank around Christmas time.

Gaia had found her happiness in her weekly mass on the hill next to the farmhouse. They even built a small house there, not exactly a church but a place to come together for a mass when it rained. Not everyone went there, most of his friends didn’t very often, Murphy knew and he could count on both of his hands how often he had been to one, but there were people like Trey, Levitt, Octavia and Clarke who found solace in the way Gaia had combined the good of everything the People of Sanctum believed in. 

Gaia was also the one to give people the blessing of marriage and the one to absolve the souls of the dead in the rare time they had to say goodbye to one of their own in times of peace.  
  
Murphy´s and Emoris' offspring were dressed in the cleanest clothes they owned. It wasn’t that their closets were empty, but their kids weren’t exactly champs at keeping their clothes clean and unscathed. 

Murphy gazed to Octavias kids, Lilli and Colin. They were dressed in white and pastels and sat quietly and sweet next to her and Levitt. Who would have thought that Octavia would one day be the mother of the most clean and well-behaved kids on this moon? Certainly not him.  
  
Gaia held a beautiful speech and in the end both Murphy and Emori had wet eyes. Who knew Gaia knew so much about their love story. Murphy supposed it had been Indra and Clarke who told her the most. Or their family from the Ring. 

It was a beautiful surprise and after they exchanged the blue shimmering rings that Raven crafted out of the remnants of the mind drives, it even felt different to call Emori his wife now. Not that he didn’t think of her as his wife before but the day they regarded as their wedding day wasn’t exactly a happy one. Today was. It was perfect. 

Being proclaimed husband and wife on a warm sunny day in spring while their kids were already starting to run around on the lawn like the wild devils they were, felt more right then it had ever before. It was perfect. So Murphy kissed his wife and he swore once again, quietly but true all the same, to love her and their children forever.

8 Years and 10 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

A month after the wedding Jordan and Hope came back to Sanctum. They hadn’t been there for almost a year now and when they arrived at the hospital Hopes belly was full and round. Murphy, who just came out with Olive on his hip - a cast was not anything Murphy freaked out about anymore - was dumbfounded.

“You look a bit pregnant there,“ he said to her and only got an eye roll in return.  
“Because I am pregnant.” In secret Murphy loved her attitude. She had been a sad little punk when he first met her the day after they came through the anomaly in the woods. 

And she still was, sad and little and a punk, every time he saw her when they came over for a couple of hours to stock up on supplies and visit some of the people they might regard as friends or family.

“What month?”  
“I’m about to pop, Murphy,“ she said, almost annoyed by the fact it seemed. God, she was worse than Echo when she birthed her son Achilles (Yes, Bellamy was still into mythology, a freaking fortune his son wasn‘t called Zeus or Thor). “In fact,“ Hope gasped, while the ground beneath her was wet suddenly “my water just broke.”  
  
Murphy had been by Emoris side every time she birthed their children and by now they weren’t really nervous anymore just anxious to meet their new child, but sitting outside of the birthing room, hearing Hopes screams of pain and Jordans unbelievable unhelpful attempts to calm her down was something else.

“They are really not good at this”, Olive whispered, swinging the one leg that wasn’t in a cast back and forth. “Mommy is way better!”  
“Oh yes, mommy is a champ.” Murphy grinned. That was his girl!  
  
  
Maya Charmaine Green, they all seemed to like names that meant something, was born with the same gene defect her grandmother Harper had. Even if she was almost carried to term she was too small and much too light. If it wasn‘t for the incubator the Bardoans built after the first baby of Sanctum died premature she wouldn‘t have made it.  
  
Murphy still sat outside of the labor room, Olive on his lap and waiting for Octavia, Echo and Gabriel to arrive. He felt useless. Octavia once told him that he had been one of Hope's favorites as a child and he knew from Montys and Harpers video that he had been Jordan's favorite at a time, but he missed their childhoods. 

It wasn‘t like with Madi, who grew close to him and Emori, while the others were off saving the universe. Madi was his niece in everything that counted. Since she, Luca and Rex were back from their travels - and yes, strangely the thing those three kids had was still going strong - they were over weekly once again to help watch the kids. Jordan and Hope were a different story. He had only seen them the first time respectively after they were grown. Hell, due to that time dilation shit he still didn‘t fully get - but it wasn‘t like he really cared - they were even a bit older than him. 

Whatever, the thing was, Murphy and the kids of his friends - yeah he kinda counted Hope Octavias kid too - were almost strangers, by how seldom they came back to Sanctum. He felt helpless in a time like this. What use could he be for new parents who nearly lost their baby?  
  
When Octavia, Echo and Gabriel finally arrived within minutes of each other, they only let Murphy explain briefly what happened, before making their way into the hospital room. Those three were all the family Hope had, next to Jordan and their small daughter. 

How sad it must be - that much Murphy had gotten from the stories of Skyring - to have only loved a handful of people in your life. It was no wonder Hope was like she was.

„Daddy,“ Olive touched his cheek. She was a sweet kid, definitely the calmest of the older ones and pretty wise for being a seven and a half year old kid. „We should build them a house.“

„How come, Chicklet?“  
„‘Cause they can‘t live in the woods, duh.“ Olive cuddled further into his chest. She had always been a cuddler, even more when she was sick. Apparently her broken leg made her clingy like that too. 

Murphy didn‘t really know if it made him a bad father for not bringing Olive home. But all those hours ago it had just seemed like the clearest thing for him to stay sitting outside that door. He had asked Olive repeatedly if she was in any pain and if he should get her home but she wanted to stay to be there for Hope and Jordan. 

Murphy was proud of his passionate and empathic little girl. Who would have thought something so pure and good like Olive could descend from someone like him.

„Then we will do that.“  
„We should do it next to ours.“  
„Why? You wanna babysit for them?“  
„Yeah.“ Olive grinned, looking up at her dad. „And Mommy and you lived in the woods too, right? Bellamy said so.“  
„He did, yeah?“ Murphy just hoped Bellamy hadn‘t told his kids too much of his and Emoris extracurricular activities from that time. Stealing and staging cons wasn‘t exactly the example he wanted to set for his kids. Not in the world they were living.  
  
„Hey,“ Jordan said quietly, as he came through the hospital room door and stepped into the waiting area, where Murphy sat. Murphy nodded to him, but he was at a loss for words. 

Should he ask for more information on what went wrong? Should he give consolations? Parenting Tips? Nothing seemed appropriate in a situation like this.

„What happened?“ Jordan asked and pointed to Olive's leg, while sitting down next to them. He looked spent but calm.  
„We were playing by that small creek this morning. There are tadpoles in it and the kids like to catch ‘em,“ Murphy explained. „Olive slipped on the mud and the rest is history.“

„Poor you,“ Jordan said and grinned compassionately at Olive. Then he looked up at Murphy and whispered after a while: „I want to have that too.“  
„You wanna have a broken leg?,“ Olive asked dumbfounded.

„No,“ Jordan laughed sadly, „I want to …“  
When he didn‘t continue, Murphy explained to his daughter: „He wants his baby to be okay and strong enough to play with you by the creek. That‘s understandable, right Chicklet?“

„Yeah!“ Olive grinned and then sat up a bit in her father's lap to tab Jordans arm. She was an affectionate kid. „We are building you a house.“  
„You do, huh?“ Jordan snorted and Olive pouted.  
„Yeah, I said so.“

„She‘s right,“ Murphy explained quietly, „If you want it, you get a house to raise your family.“  
„Why‘d you do that, Murphy?“ Jordan looked straight ahead, suddenly very somber. „Hope and I, we left when all of you built up Sanctum again.“

„I get not being able to stay.“  
„I figure.“ Murphy supposed, since it has been Monty and Harper to tell stories about them. „I never told anybody about it, but … okay, listen Murphy: I met Hope just minutes after her mom died and I promised her I'd be there for her. I was a stranger but I felt like I knew her my whole life. I got her. I got how detached she felt from anyone and anything. I did too, after, you know, the initial joy of meeting you all, back before we came to Sanctum. But you were all only stories of our childhoods. The only thing that felt real for me was Sanctum and the only thing that felt real for Hope, back then, was I.“ 

Jordan was still looking straight ahead to the wall that separated him from his girlfriend and their daughter. He must be anxious to get back to them, yet he was taking his time to explain himself to someone he didn‘t owe anything too. 

Murphy still wondered if it was their fault, Spacekrus fault, Jordan had suffered so much. They really didn‘t do Montys and Harpers heritage justice.

„When we came back to Sanctum, after that massacre here and what we saw on Bardo we just couldn‘t stay. That was why we ran away to live in the woods. The red sun scared us less than living with all of you. Gladly we never really experienced it. We are immune to the toxin it seems.“

„Me too,“ Murphy said.  
„Yeah and you found a way nobody has to experience it anymore, which is great. A lot of things here are great. We always saw that. Hope and I, we always said, just a month and then we would go back and help out. But months turned into years and we couldn‘t stay.“ Jordan grinned and looked at Olive, while he told them: „This moon is … it‘s awesome. There are the strangest places, the strangest animals. It‘s all so different from what mom and dad told me about earth. There is so much to explore. That was our excuse.“

„Let me guess: And then Hope got pregnant?“ Jordan huffed again and nodded.

„I love my parents but I didn‘t want any kid to grow up like Hope and I did. We found some herbs and they worked great but when they didn‘t and we noticed we knew we had to come here eventually. But it was always just one more week. And weeks turned into months again. God …“ Jordan buried his face in his hands. „Just a second later and we would have killed our kid with our issues.“

„Hey, little ears here, Jordan,“ Murphy said.  
„Am not little,“ Olive pouted.  
„Are too, Chicklet.“  
„I know what killed is, Daddy,“ she said somberly instead of discussing it with him like little kids did.  
„You do?“  
„Lex told me.“  
„What exactly did Lex tell you?“ Now Murphy really had to discuss that with his son and whoever explained to him was killing was. It wasn‘t that Murphy planned to never tell their kids what he and Emori had done to survive, but he was certain that now was way too early, Lex not even nine years old yet and the others even younger.

„It‘s when someone dies and it‘s your fault.“  
„Yeah, it is. But if you ever have any question about …“  
„I know daddy, I can come and ask you. ‘Cause you know everything!,“ she interrupted him and didn‘t that make his ego grow?

„So it‘s really easy like that?,“ Jordan asked. And even if Murphy wasn‘t sure if he meant parenting or making a home in Sanctum, Murphy nodded.  
„It will be.“  



	10. Choosing Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! 
> 
> I hope you had nice holidays, safe and happy with your loved ones, whichever way that was possible.
> 
> As a little christmas gift: here’s a new chapter. I hope you like it.

8 Years an 11 months after the Massacre of Sanctum

There was a room above the tavern that Hope and Jordan could stay in. It had been Delilahs, so that was its own kind of hurt but the Workmans were good hosts and the tavern was only a minute walk from the hospital. Maya had to stay in the incubator at least for the first few weeks, two bardoan nurses constantly taking care of the machine and the baby.

Murphy was dead-set on making sure that the house would be ready by the time Maya was able to live in it. He really had two left hands but he helped out more than he ever had on any other house, including his own. Most was done by some Convicts - they should really stop to call them that - and Wonkru. The group of guys built almost all houses around here and the were constantly repairing and upgrading for whoever needed it. 

Emori decided against a monetary payment system - Murphy tried to desperately forget all the nights he spent discussing the pro and cons for that with her instead of doing more fun things that he could think of doing in bed - but almost everyone in Sanctum had their roles and tasks. Murphys seemed to be Emoris pretty housewife, as their friends joked, but for real someone had to take care of their litter and discuss shit with her behind close doors.   
  
„You‘re doing that wrong, daddy,“ Otis told him, sitting cross legged on the muddy ground next to where Murphy was grinding the wood of the front porch. Emori was going to have his hide if they had to get new trousers again before Otis even grew out of them.

„When have you grown up so much to tell me how to build houses?“  
„I always watched them doing it, while you were hiding.“ Otis grinned a big almost toothless grin.

„I wasn‘t hiding, kid.“ What a little shit his son was, but Murphy loved his big mouth like crazy.  
„You were, daddy. Uncle Miller said so too.“

„Miller is a doofus.“ Otis laughed out loud and smirked while watching his father try to smoothen the wood.  
„That‘s not nice, daddy. And Uncle Miller taught me how to do that.“ So that‘s where the hero worship for Uncle Miller was coming from. Otis wanted to be a construction worker - architect or whatever they were gonna call it again in twenty years - since he was a toddler playing with tools whenever he got the chance to. A wonder he hadn‘t been hurt back then toying with them.

„Okay, big guy. You gonna show me how?“  
„For real, dad?“ Otis eyes were all big now.   
„Come here and don‘t tell Miller about it.“  
  
— —

Over the weeks, as Maya grew stronger, Jordan spent a lot of time in Emoris office or at her home, telling her about his and Hope's expeditions and what they found out about this moon. While Emori certainly didn‘t had any intention to rob it or destroy it‘s nature, she thought it was time for them all to know more about their new home planet - no, home-moon, Murphy would never grew used to that.

„Tea, Jordan?“ Murphy asked him, while heating up the formula for Harmony. Porridge for the other kids and them was simmering on the stove. Murphy really liked to cook but as simple porridge was, it was perfect for feeding his horde of hungry children in the morning.

"There are waterfalls,“ Jordan told them, while pointing to a spot on the map he brought over. He had drawn it himself. "It's about 20 hours north from here. The water is really clear and there are a lot of fishes. They are eatable. But only the grey ones. The colorful ones give you real bad cramps."

Emori laughed, while she fed her daughter the formula. Harmony was a sweet baby, always smiling, a good eater and already crawling with barely six months, her badass hand not holding her back the slightest. It was pretty great how the kids learned from each other, the younger copying what their older siblings did. Of course there were little quarrels and tears but their kids were a close knitted group.

"There are other animals too in that area. Lots of small birds, butterflies and insects, we even found some snakes, but they seemed harmless."

"Did they looked like me?" Gail asked as she showed off her split tongue. It still looked freakingly awesome, Murphy thought.

"Just like you,“ Jordan grinned. He warmed up to most of the kids pretty fast, as well as to Sanctum in general. Since he didn't exactly had a job he spent a lot of time consulting Emori about what was beyond the woods around the city center of Sanctum. In return she involved him into her politics, talking to him about plans to finally rebuild the palace as some sort of museum or library for all the old books they found. She was thinking about sending expedition teams out to get to know more about the moon. 

The palace could serve as a place of knowledge instead of blind devotion. Knowledge, Emori told him like the badass wise politician she was, was the greatest power anyone could ever achieve. Murphy knew that Emoris' world expanded on the Ring when Bellamy taught her to read and Raven got her deeper into all that rocket stuff. Emori spent hours back then reading all the old digital books and tinkering with Ravens stuff. It was more than logical for Murphy, that she wanted all People of Sanctum to empower themselves by knowledge. 

Jordan, totally the son of Monty, agreed with her one hundred percent and he spent lots of time talking to all people in Sanctum for Emori, finding out which parts of science and doctrine were of importance to them. In return he gained their trust again. The True Believers remembered him as one of their own, as he had been the first and only intruder to try and understand their beliefs back then when the primes were still in control. By now, they knew that the peace they had known had been a truth in disguise, but their beliefs had been a big part of themselves. 

The Bardoans warmed up to Jordan pretty fast too. He was the one who told them that the answer to violence wasn‘t more violence but fought alongside them and he helped them get to Sanctum, to a life more colorful than they had ever hoped to see. 

Even Wonkru talked to him openly, most of them remembering Monty, who stopped the fighting pits with a promise of a better, greener future. Jordan was the son of the man who found this moon for Wonkru and the Convicts and being open and accepting of him was the least they could do.  
  
For Murphy it wasn‘t that much of a surprise when Emori told him two weeks after Maya was finally strong enough to go home with her parents: „Jordan is running for Chancellor.“ She was lying in Murphy's arms, naked and spent from trying for another baby.

„That‘s a good thing, right?“ Murphy's voice was concerned and just a bit hesitant.  
„It is.“ Emoi started to fondle his breast hair. He never thought about shaving it, pretty sure that Emori found it sexy. She always played with it, when she was up for another round, but Murphy was still thinking about the upcoming election and how it would definitely change their lives.

„What‘s wrong, John?“ Murphy loved Emoris' voice, when she was worried about him. He knew she loved him, always had even when she left him on the Ring all those years ago, but when she sounded like that he felt cared for. Murphy was used to love by now. 

His kids all needed their various amounts of cuddles and he had sweet nicknames for all of them, always making sure that they knew how loved they were. And in return he felt their admiration, their trust and how they knew with all certainty that they belonged to him. 

But being with Emori, the love of his life, was still different. She was his home, no matter on which planet (moon!) they were and she would always take care of him. That was an unspoken promise they gave each other back when they still were kids themselves, having just met each other and trying to get by in the woods.

„You‘ve been chancellor for nine years now,“ Murphy tried to explain while running his fingers through her long hair. He couldn‘t get over the fact how young and beautiful she still looked, like time could do nothing to her. „I‘m scared that whoever will be next, is going to fuck this up.“ This, their peace. Their home, the future of their children, there was so much at the stakes now.

„Don‘t worry,“ Emori told him, kissing just below his earlobe. She was clearly up for another round and he felt sheepish for being that worried about probably nothing instead of using their couple-time for something more fun like a second round of rolling in the sheets with his adorable and hot wife. But he couldn‘t help himself. Emori, sensing that he wasn‘t in the mood, laid her head on his shoulder, not stopping though to caress his sternum.

„What are you scared about, John?“  
„No leader I know was ever like you,“ Murphy whispered. He knew it was stupid, he was long grown and he should be over it, but leaders where the ones who floated his father, hanged him for a crime he hadn‘t done, raped him and nearly burned him at the stakes. Emori wasn‘t at all like that. 

True, there had been people to punish, but most crimes could be met with extra labor or house arrest, bringing people to apologize to those they have done harm to. But people mostly were peaceful, nobody killed anyone in the past nine years since Emori became Chancellor. If one was to steal anything he had to give it back and apologize for it, nothing akin to floating for that. If one was to do drugs - there were a lot of strange herbs in the woods - it was their thing as long as they did no harm to anybody else. 

There was no punishment for getting as many babies as one liked, they didn‘t have to ration food or water or even medicine. Emori and Murphy had certainly talked about what would happen if someone ever committed a more severe crime than punching someone in the face because they couldn‘t stand their liquor. There was banishment, they still had cells in the palaces basement and if it ever came to it corporal punishment was most likely the hardest they were willing to give. But a new leader always brought new rules and Murphy knew what a fine line laid between chaos and power. Emori was a freaking tightrope walker to balance on it.

„Our People won‘t follow a leader like the ones you knew.“  
„You don‘t know that.“  
„But I do. I know for a fact, that if it ever came to the question of blind devotion or resistance, our people would choose peace.“

„Choosing peace was easy with you as their leader.“

„John,“ Emori sighed and kissed his cheek. „If you can‘t trust whoever is gonna be our leader come next month, trust our people. Sanctum is the way it is because of them.“  
Murphy felt how his eyes got wet. He wasn‘t crying over this, but Emoris' words got to him.

„You don‘t give yourself enough credit,“ he whispered against her hair. She didn‘t. Emori had never served any master, she was a rolling stone by heart, but that only made her better in Murphy's eyes. Emori guided the People of Sanctum with trust and kindness. All that was archived in Sanctum in the past nine years wouldn‘t have been possible without her, Murphy was so certain of that like he never had been certain of anything before in his life. 

Emori though gave all the credit to their people and Murphy thought, maybe that was the secret of a good leader. He might not be able to trust whomever was gonna be their next Chancellor, no matter if he liked them as a person or not, and he might not even be able to trust the People of Sanctum, but he would forever lay his trust, without a second thought, in Emori.

„Mommy?,“ they heard whisperings from outside the door, before it was slowly being opened. One little pair of footsteps made their way to the big bed, before Jerry climbed on to it, his favorite plushy - a freakingly adorable sea turtle - held with one fist, his blue baby blanket in the other.

„Can‘t sleep, baby boy?, Murphy asked, while Emori laid him down between them. It wasn‘t seldom that one of their kids made its way into their bed somewhere at night. Most mornings they had a couple of kids in various positions and states of sleepiness with them. It certainly made it harder to find time to make more babies, but they managed just fine by the count of their kids. Murphy grinned. The need to be creative regarding the places to procreate certainly spiced things up lots of the time. The strangest places … Murphy grinned even broader. He‘d never tire of worshiping that woman.

„I‘m cold,“ Jerry told them in his tiny two year old voice. He was a good sleeper normally and a quiet and sweet kid, maybe the shiest of their litter.

„Come here, then,“ Emori said and cuddled him even more. Murphy also moved closer to the middle of the bed, laying an arm over his wife and kid. He hoped Jerry wasn‘t getting sick, being cold in the beginning of summer. Sick kids were always fun … not!  
  
— —

Jordan was elected as the Second Chancellor of Sanctum just a month later. The first thing he did was talking to the People and promising them to honor and protect all of them and what they created in Sanctum. He told them that he was sorry he wasn‘t with them when they laid the foundations to this wonderful place, but that he promised to be there for the framework. Murphy huffed and rolled his eyes. What a sap. Monty would be proud.  
The second thing Jordan did, not an hour later, was freak out in their kitchen, while the older kids sat around the table trying to do their homework.

„Calm down, Jordan,“ Emori told him like a freaking saint. „You‘ll do fine.“  
„What if they don‘t like me?“  
„They wouldn‘t have chosen you, if they didn‘t.“ Emori took a sip of her tea, while Murphy rolled his eyes again, sitting down between Otis and Lex.

„And what if I have to decide something they don‘t like?“  
„Don‘t worry before it happens, Jordan. And I‘ll be by your side whenever you need me to be.“ Of course, she would. Murphy suggested it himself. Being a consultant would still ensure her to be involved into the future of Sanctum without having to be on the front on every decision. It was the perfect solution for the time being, especially the way Jordan still needed guidance, if his freak out was any indication.

„Yeah, but what if someone commits a crime, who‘s gonna decide the repercussions?“  
„You are, doofus!,“ Gail singsong. Murphy repressed a laugh - silently agreeing with his sassy daughter - choosing instead to stay silent as Emori reprimanded their kid: „Apologize, Gail.“

„But I‘m right, Mommy.“  
„Being right doesn‘t allow you to be rude. Please apologize or else you have to go to your room for the rest of the afternoon.“  
„Fine,“ Gail sighed. „I‘m sorry. But I‘m still right and you‘re annoying.“

Now Murphy had a really hard time to contain his laughter, coughing instead and grabbing for his own tea to hide his grin behind the cups rim. Gail was a little firecracker and much to elaborate for her age.

Lex huffed a small laugh and high fived his little sister under the table. Murphy poked his shoulder.  
„Don‘t encourage her, you imp.“  
„Even your kids pick on me, how should I lead the last of the human race.“  
„Dramatic much?,“ Murphy told him, not wondering at all where his kids got their attitude from. That was what Emori got from making him the housewife. It was her own damn fault and he knew behind their closed bedroom doors she found their kids antics just as funny and badass as him. She was just better at containing her amusement to soothe Jordans worries.

„I‘m not trying to be difficult, it‘s just I … I don‘t know if I‘m made for that.“  
„You should have thought about that before you choose to do this shit,“ Hope commented through the open kitchen window, her little daughter in her arms. Maya was still small for her age and had trouble with hearing as it seemed, but the Bardoans were tinkering on little hearing aids for her, so she could start young to get comfortable with noises.

„Little ears are listening,“ Murphy commented as if he never said shit in front of his horde.  
„Yeah yeah,“ Hope said disinterestedly. „Now would you be so kind to move your ass over, Jordan? I wanna go shower and I need you to watch your daughter.“

„Come here,“ Murphy said, standing up and going to the window, holding his arms through the opening. „Give her to me and let him finish his freak out.“ Hope rolled her eyes but handed her daughter over. Murphy cradled her in his arms, totally used to holding babies, there was nothing easier than that.

„Stop freaking out,“ Hope told her boyfriend. „You owe them nothing. Thanks, Murphy. Gonna get her in thirty.“  
„Yeah yeah, go. Go shower. Don‘t make it worse, you punk. Gosh.“  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make me a gift too ;)   
> Comment 😛😏


	11. Best risks I ever took

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter in 2020, buy there is way more to come for 2021.
> 
> I hope you’ll have a great and safe silvester tomorrow. Happy New Year!

9 Years and 2 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

A lot of summer days were spent at the beach. Miller had build more surfboards and he helped all the parents with swim training their kids. That maniac even went deep diving by now. Murphy liked swimming and he spent a great deal of the summer doing that with his older kids or sitting in the shallow water of the shore to entertain and keep the younger ones safe. 

The beach was packed with people. The heat wave making them lazy, school was closed either way for the hottest summer months and people rather be at the beach than working in the city center. A few dog days each year won‘t harm anybody. 

Murphy sat next to Bellamy in the sand, little Harmony on his lap. Bellamys and his feet were burried beneath the sandcastle (which really was only a big pile of sand and not anything like a castle) Hatch and Jerry were building with their friends. It was pretty cool that the boys had so many kids their age around. 

It really had been a baby boom those last couple of years in Sanctum. Octavias son Collin, Echos son Archi and Ravens daughter Amelia were a constant in the life of his three and almost two year old sons. So Murphy sat among all those toddlers, left alone by Emori and the other moms because they wanted to take a dip in the ocean. Strangely half a dozen toddlers was nothing Murphy was scared about. 

At least he had Bellamy for company and a pretty cool basecap on his head. He knew about those from pictures of the old world before the apocalypse and since a lot of people in Sanctum developed a fashion sense there was always some new old things around to get. The basecap was among the most practical and he knew Emori liked that juvenile look on him.

Murphy pushed the cap up just a bit and looked to the ocean. His wife was there with her friends and further outside was Miller with some guys and kids on boards. Lex and Otis were playing with a ball in the shallow end of the water. Gail was jumping all around them. He could hear his daughter laughing and shrieking all over the beach, that little firecracker.   
Far off in the shade of the tree was Olive with her best friend Sadie. She laughed, way more quiet than Gail and her different colored eyes sparkled in the reflexion of the sun. 

„You look happy, Murph.“  
„What?“ Murphy dumbfounded.   
„Nothing. Just … it‘s great. You being happy. All of us. You know, I really could get used to this.“

„You haven‘t yet?“ Murphy asked and Bellamy shrugged his shoulders, lying back in the sand. He grabbed at Murphys cap and laid it over his own eys, to protect himself from the high sun. 

„Hey,“ Murphy exclaimed.   
„Chill, man. Gonna give it back later.“  
„You better.“  
„You‘re so extra about this thing.“  
„Emori got it for me,“ Murphy offered softly. So what, if he wore it almost every day for the past couple of weeks. Emori had gotten some for the kids to. They were great for the sun, when the heat wave hit Sanctum. 

„You still worship the ground she walks on“, Bellamy said, he grinned while fiddeling with the snap of Murphys basecap.   
„So what,“ Murphy said, looking down to where Harmony was playing with his fingers. Her hand just felt like a little version of Emoris. 

„Nothing.“ Bellamy laughed that deep laugh that secretly always comforted Murphy. As if an older brother laughed at you, but in a way that it didn‘t feel like meaness but familiarity. Who would have thought, back then, after they tried to hang each other, that they‘d be ever close like that. In his life Murphy hadn‘t looked up to many people after his father died. But Bellamy was one of them. 

„I still remember both of you on the Ring. On those early days. I‘ve never seen you like this before. It was an eye-opening experience.“ Bellamy laughed again.   
„What do you mean?“ Murphy helped his daughter turn around on his lap, thankful for the short reprieve of her weight. He wiggled his left foot, it started tingling beneath the heavy pile of sand the kids were still adding onto. 

„You were always the wild card, Murphy. I really thought about leaving you behind, when we went up. I thought it was a risk to take you.“  
Asshole, Murphy thought but said: „Wow, thanks a lot, Blake.“  
„If it helps, I thought the same about Echo and Emori.“

Murphy clicked his tongue. Give or take a few years and that would have earned Bellamy a punch to the face.   
„I was wrong,“ Bellamy offered.   
„That I live to see the day …“ Murphy grinned. It hurt, deep down, to hear how Bellamy thought about leaving them behind. Even after all those years. Maybe more so now, because they were close - family. But it didn‘t surprise him. It wasn‘t a new hurt. And it‘s not if Bellamy was wrong, they had been a risk back then. 

The first days on the Ring had felt strange. Emori was torn between being scared to leave the safety of their room and going out to get to know the people she was scared about. So Murphy had stepped up. He‘d made small talk, he‘d organized activities for the group, he‘d held Emoris hidden badass hand in his whenever they left their room. It had been him to tell Bellamy that she needed books to learn reading, it had been him to tell Harper to organize girls night and it had been him to beg Raven to take Emori under her wings, without Emori ever being the wiseer of this. He never told her. Those were her accomplishments. 

Emori had longed to be part of something greater than herself and it had been good for some years. He was as content as he could be, that he was secretly the one to offer that to her but then it had felt as if she didn‘t need him anymore. She became part of something bigger than him and her. Suddenly Murphy was on his own while Emori went Spacewalking with Raven, spent the night with the girls in some other room or talked with Bellamy about books Murphy had never read, because the letters still looked strange sometimes. 

Murphy had just been as scared as her to feel worthless again. So much that he pushed her away by not being part of the group, by not embracing her to be part of something bigger than them. That was a mistake he wouldn‘t ever make again. He was just glad that in the end, back on the ground and later in Sanctum, everything had worked out fine. 

„Whatever,“ Bellamy said, ignoring the fact that Murphy was right. Murphy once again wiggled his foot, before grabbing his daughter and setting her on Bellamys belly. Bellamy made a little noise of complaint, but Murphy just huffed and laid back in the sand. Should he suffer under Harmonys weight now. Murphy grabbed at his cap and laid it across his own eyes. 

Bellamy turned his head to the side, while helping Harmony bounce on his torso. He grunted under the toddlers weight, before lifting her up to sat her in the sand beside him. She thanked him by taking a handful and putting it on his belly, which lead to the other toddlers helping her. It wouldn‘t be long until his body would be burried under a pile of sand. He took some into his own hand and dumped it on Murphys breast, encouraging the kids to split their attention on both of them. 

Murphy grinned, not fazed by Bellamys antics. Should they suffer together. There had been worse shit happening to them than being dug beneath a pile of sand on a peaceful (but way to hot) summer day. At least his feet felt cold by now. That weather and the day spent at the beach, playing ball, swimming an taking care of a horde of children - most of them his own - tired him out. Murphy closed his eyes, just for a moment. He would pay attention in a minute again, trusting Bellamy to take over for so long. 

„Not leaving you behind. Echo and you two was one of the best risks I ever took“, Bellamy said, rousing Murphy out of his sleepyness, by flinging some sand at his face. „Don‘t sleep, you lazy bum.“

9 Years and 4 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Usually it was Emori planning all the celebrations. She was so good at organising and making sure everyone had a good time. Murphy had never thought that the wary savage he met in the dessert would once be the heart of every party. It wasn‘t like Emori was moving like a maniac on the dancefloor or chatting loud and iddly with everyone. 

But out of every pore of her being radiatied a love for this moon. Emori loved partys because they brought all the people together to celebrate life.   
They couldn't celebrate life enough. It was a wonder, a freaking coincidence that they were all yet still alive. 

All the parties they celebrated were happy and they were a mashup of all the different thing the people of Sanctum remembered from the life they had before. Murphy didn't remember any celebration exept his birthdays when he had been a kid still and unity day. He started hating both after Jaha floated his father. Unity day didn't mean shit anymore, because really, what unity were they, if they killed fathers for trying to save their boys? 

Back on the Ring Harper coerced and bullied them to celebrate their birthdays. When Emori told her, that she didn't knew the date she was born, Harper organized the biggest birthday party exactly a year after they came to the Ring. Murphy would be forever grateful for that. Emori loved that she had a birthday now and soon she had been all in into bullying the rest of them to celebrate with music, card games and Montys algae moonshine. 

Murphy played along. The pain of remembering his parent and the birthdays he celebrated with them had been raw. It was like a wound that never healed right and he almost broke when he stumbled into his old family quarters. Having Emori there and so happy about celebrating life, even back then, helped for sure. So Murphy had closed his families quarters, put an invisible band aid on his age-old wound and followed his girl to her party. 

Never before in his life had Murphy wanted to plan a holiday. Not until he listened to Nikkis drunken tales of her youth on earth. He remembered his mother telling him about Halloween. About how people disguised themselves in scary costumes to hide from the death that wandered earth until all hallows eve. His mom loved to tell tales of their ancestors from earth. Nikkis stories were different. She told them about eggs thrown at windows, mailboxes wrapped in toilet paper, and piles of leaves that she set on fire. Nikki had been a little shit for sure, but Halloween sounded awesome as hell. On the Ring Murphy loved Horror Movies and he loved all the different Ghost Stories that Echo and Harper knew. 

Murphy was glad that Nelson knew how to culture old seeds the original Mission Team Alpha brought and stored. So Murphy got himself four big pumpkins. They'd have pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread for days but carving scary pumpkin faces was definitly worth it. 

Lex, Olive, Otis and Gail had the fun of their lives, while Emori got the little ones ready for bed.   
Each of them draw wonderful scary faces on their very own pumpkin and Murphy helped them carve them with sharp knives, before putting them up on the front porch. He nicked some of the little candles Emori liked to lit in the bathroom when she was soaking in the tub. Murphy helped his kids lit them to put the candles inside of the pumpkins. 

"They are awesome!" Gail exclaimed happily, not scared in the slightest. She seemed as exited as her dad by the prospect of celebrating Halloween. So Murphy ushered his kids to their rooms to put their little costumes on and helped them in the bathroom, using Emoris make up and some finger paints. When they were ready, little vampires, zombies and ghosts, Murphy took them outside to the bonfire he prepared. 

Emori was already waiting there. She sat next to Alyssa and Jules on a fallen tree log, chatting iddly. Trey stood behind them, not yet comfortable with the whole she-bang. He always needed a moment more than anyone else to embrace things like these. Wary Bastard.   
"The boys and Harmony asleep already?" Murphy asked, softly kissing her cheek. Emori just grinned.   
"Of course." 

Olive ran up to her best friend Sadie, Alyssas and Treys daughter. Sadie wore a dark green dress and a witch's hat. Her face was covered in corcoal and red lip stick, just like Olives. The girls sat down on a blanket by he bonfire. Sadies older brother Scott was disguised as a vampire, while Jules son Cooper looked like a feral werewolf. Both sat around the bonfire too. Lex and Otis huddled close to their friends, picking up sticks to hold into the fire. 

Murphy sat down next to McCallans guitar. It still felt strange, that McCallan was as old as him and born in the sky but not one of the hundred prisoners that had been sent to earth. He really liked him, but in secret he used to joke with Miller about what a goody-two-shoes McCallan was. 

Being the good guy fit him. McCallan sat to his wifes feet on a blanket, their four year old daughter Molly on his lap. Gail, huddled in a white linen, sat cross-legged next to them, doing her damn best to scare little Molly. What a devil, Murphy loved it. 

"Hey, don't you get started without us!" Raven shouted in their direction.   
"Never in a million years," Emori said, a big grin on her lips. It was sweet how she meant it. Out of all her friends, she would always love Raven the most. 

When Murphy told her about his idea to do their own version of a Halloween fest, they thought hard about who they wanted to celebrate with. It had been Murphys idea to ask Emoris friends, because they had kids the same age as their older ones. It would have been an awful thing to do this without getting the kids best friends to come. 

Emori had been happy about it, but it had been her idea to also ask the remains of Spacekru to come. Harper would have loved it, she told him and Murphy realized once again that Harper and Monty where a wound that never healed the right way, too. But that was all the more reason to do this with Raven, Bellamy and Echo. 

Echo was huddled in one of Bellamys big woolen sweaters. She looked content but sad somehow as she sat down next to Murphy.   
"You good?" he asked her and she nodded, putting her head on his shoulder.   
"I miss them," she told him, nudging his chin with the top of her head, before straightening up. Murphy nodded in return.   
"Me too." They all new, that Harper would have loved it, while Monty would have been scared of their ghost stories, until the moonshine did it's magic and anxiety became exitement. Murphy missed them like crazy tonight. 

"I brought Marshmellows," Bellamy announced, putting down a bowl of sugary treats next to the crackers and thin chocolate bars Emori organized for today. Next to him stood Lilli, Octavias oldest daughter, war paint on her face making her look scarier than all the other kids in their frieghening Hallooween costumes. It was a long time ago that Murphy had seen someones face ready for war. But when Lilli laughed, scampering off to sit between Otis and Cooper, Murphys world was good again. No war to fight, just Octavia winning at having the kid with the scariest make-up. Who would've thought, she still had it in her.

The adults helped the kids put chocolate, cracker and marshmallows on their sticks, showing them the right way to hold their sweet treats into the fire. Holding his own stick, Murphy looked into the flames. It was a rather mild night, the wind wasn't cold but it was howling, like the air knew which night it was today. 

The sky was void of stars, but that didn't atone him anymore. They seldom saw a starlit sky on Sanctum. Hope once told him, that on the other side of the moon you could see stars and beautiful auroras every night. Maybe one day he could go there and show his children how beautiful the sky could be. But tonight wasn't the night. Tonight Murphy wanted to explore his spooky self. 

"Daddy?" Gail, chocolate around her mouth and dotted on her ghostly white linen, stood in front of him. "Can you tell us a ghost story now?"  
"Sure, baby girl." Gail grinned, touching him with sticky fingers. Murphy winced but let her plop down onto his lap. He always found comfort in the way his children seeked him and Emori out for cuddles and kisses. 

"Stingy Jack invited the devil for a drink in the bar he liked to spend all his nights," Murphy started to tell the tale of Jack-O-Lantern. He knew the story from his mom. Telling felt like nicking at the edge of the old band aid that covered the wound his mom left, when she started to loathe instead of loving him.   
"Like the cheap guy that Stingy Jack was, he didn't want to pay for his drinks, so he persuaded the devil to turn into a coin. Jack decided to keep the coin, so he scurried out of the seedy bar. Stingy Jack knew that the devil had a weakness, so he put the coin next to the silver cross, Stingy Jack stole from his mothers jewelry cabinet."

"I don't like Stingy Jack, dad," Gail, for once, whispered. She loved when he told tales instead of reading them a bedtime story. It was strange how his words turned her into a mellow baby instead of the loud and headstrong six year old, that she was. 

"That's okay," Emori soothed her from the other side of the fire. "Jack is not a nice man, but let's continue to listen to his story, yeah Gail?"  
"Oki doki, mommy."

"Jack freed the devil," Murphy continued, his arms hugged around Gails middle. "But he did it only under the condition, that should he ever die the devil was not allowed to claim his soul. The devil agreed not caring about the soul of a stingy and malicious man, who knew about his weaknesses."

"Does the devil like good souls more?" Olive asked. She didn't look scared, but fascinated by his story of Stingy Jack and his vicious soul.   
"The devil likes weak souls," Echo said. It sounded like she truly believed her words. Murphy felt a shiver down his spine.  
"But why?" Olive scooted over to lean against Echo.   
"See," she made, softly caressing Olives dark hair. "The devil feeds on the souls of those he lures to hell. But he is week himself, so he is scared of strong souls like yours." 

"But what about Jack, daddy?" Gail asked, eyes wide and not happy about her sister interrupting story time.  
"Jack died, but god didn't allow a creature with a bad soul like his into heaven. But the devil kept his word and he was still angry by the trick Jack pulled on him, so he didn't allow Jacks taunt soul into hell," Murphy told. 

The story kinda hit close to home. It reminded him of his own experiences of seeing whatever kind of hell he saw when he died the first day he sat foot to the city-state of of Sanctum, that should later become his own kind of heaven.   
Dying had been scary, it shook him to the core but this life made it worth it. Living his days with Emori and his babies made that inevtiable fate of dying worth it. Even the threat of hell. Immortality didn‘t sound so enchanting anymore. Growing old with Emori by his side, seeing his kids growing up did all the more now. 

"The devil sent Jack off into the dark night - it was a night like today - with only a burning coal to light his way,“ Murphy continued his story „Jack put the coal into a carved-out turnip …"

"Like our pumpkin!" Lex exclaimed joyful. He had been snickering with Otis and their friends, to cool to be scared by a ghost story, but now he was interested again.   
"Yes, like the pumpkin," Murphy agreed. "And since that night, Jack soul is doomed to wander in the darkness, between the world of living and the world of death."

Murphy grinned at his sons. "Just hope, he won't cross your way tonight. His light shines extra bright on all hallows eve."  
Lex shoot him a shit eating grin. If Murphy didn't knew his boy as well as he did, he wouldn't spot the little spook in his eyes. 

"Don't you worry, Lexi," Gail said, using her rare nickname for her older brother. "Daddy and me are gonna protect you."


	12. They deserved nothing less

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!   
> I hope you made it through safe and healthy and that 2021 has been good to you so far. 
> 
> Here’s the first chapter of this year and there are many more to come.
> 
> I would love to hear your thoughts!

9 Years and 6 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
They found out they were pregnant again a few days before Christmas - yes the convicts had gotten most of all People of Sanctum so far to decorate their houses and front yards with candles, pinecones and self-made garlands. They taught them how to bake cookies, even if Murphy was pretty sure that the receipt had its faults, but the kids liked those sweet and way to hard treats they got only once a year. One of the older convicts - by now almost sixty - liked to tell stories about the meaning behind Christmas and he made almost all kids believe that if they were good and well-behaved Santa would come and bring them gifts. 

Murphy was debating with himself to tell his horde that they shouldn‘t even try to behave (it was certainly a lost cause if they came after him and Emori as much as he thought they did) or to tell them that Santa's Rocket wasn‘t badass enough to reach Sanctum, but after seeing the joy in their eyes as house after house was decorated for Christmas, he wasn‘t able to. 

So Murphy gave in to his fate and started crafting toys in Ravens Garage with Bellamy, who for a teach was frustratingly good at handiwork. Murphy not so much, but he was giving his all to make the wooden dollhouse for his daughters as near to freaking perfect as he could. They deserved nothing less.

"So Emori is pregnant again?,“ Bellamy, who was carefully crafting the dolls faces, asked. "It's gonna be the last?"  
"Nah, don't know. She's really enjoying the days right now, full-time-mom and all. She never had that much time for the kids before and she is basking in it." 

Emori was still up and around an hour or two most days to help Jordan settle into his new role, but she was able to do that while the older ones were in school, so she still had so much more time to spend caring for her kids. It wasn't like Murphy was without anything to do around home. 

He still cooked most days - not one of Emoris talents -, he helped with cleaning, got up in the night to soothe the baby as much as she did and played and cared for their children but Emori was much more involved in the daily tasks now. She sat with the older ones, when they were doing homework, much more able to help than Murphy as the tasks they got became more complex. 

She saw so many firsts of the little kids she had missed when the bigger ones were still at that age where they developed new skills almost daily.  
Once or twice Emori became almost overbearing, one day getting in an argument with Gail about using kitchen knives, Murphy allowed her to use for a couple of years already. 

Gail was really adamant about cutting her own veggies. Another day Lex and Otis nearly had a freak out because Emori kissed their cheeks in front of their school friends, after she argued her way into watching them at soccer practice on the weekend. Murphy just had a laughing fit, when Rex and Luca, who still acted as the soccer teams trainers, told them. He totally got Emori and they talked about how much she was mothering the kids in the quiet of their bedroom. 

When Emori was their older kids' ages, she was all alone, only Otan to rely on and he was just a mere years older than her. Murphy got the longing to do better than your own parents did. That's why he'd never raise a hand to his kids and why he was always careful to only drink so much as to not be really drunk when his kids saw it. 

Emori needed to dote on them now, maybe sorry she missed so much of the time they could have spent, while she was paving the way to rebuild Sanctum. Murphy told her, time and time again, and he would for as long as she needed to hear it and then just a couple times more, that she had been doing everything right. She had paved the way for a better future for their kids, all kids. And she still was an awesome mom, no matter if she'd been there for Lex first steps or Gails first words. 

She loved them, she protected them, she had been coming home every night to her bunch of misfits, that was more than her own parents could ever say for themselves.

"Hey Murph,“ Bellamy said, like he had tried to get him to listen for a while.  
"What?" Murphy picked up some nails and a hammer to try to connect the floor for the dolls house attic.  
"I told you that Echo is pregnant too, you moron." Bellamy huffed annoyed. "Don't know why I wanted you to be the first to know."

"Aw,“ Murphy said, kinda picking on Bellamy, kinda really affected by the sentiment. "Maybe because I'm your best friend, man. When's it popping?"  
"Don't say popping …"  
"Hatching then?"  
"You're still a little shit."  
"Now you're hurting me, Bell."

"Are you two done flirting or what? I’m gonna tattle on you to your wifes,“ Raven picked on them from the stairs, coming up to Bellamy and giving him a congratulatory hug. She had been helping on a lot of the toys - like the slot car racing track for the older boys - and she was letting them use part of her garage.

"So Archie is going to be a big brother soon,“ she said, while sitting down next to Murphy, taking the hammer out of his hands. "How is Echo doing with it?"  
"Oh, uhm. We were trying for a while already. She wanted it, want's it. We both do. Like don't want Archie and the new baby to be separated by age too much."  
"That's cool, Bell. Really cool! Now can I have my freaking hammer back or what Raven?"  


10 Years and 1 Month after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Zeke was born on a cloudy summer day. They had asked Raven for approval before they named their eight baby after the pilot who gave his life to get them safely to the other side of sanctum's radiation shield. 

Zeke Shaw had been a good man and Murphy and Emori felt honored to commemorate him by naming one of their sons after him. Zeke had Emoris olive toned skin, her emerald eyes and his nose. He was a cute kid with two additional nipples just a few centimeters below his perks and almost white patches of skin on his legs and arms, like much too bright and big freckles. He looked badass, just like his older siblings and Murphy and Emori couldn't stop cuddling him, basking in the first time they ever spent as new parents without any additional responsibilities outside of their home.

Their friends left them alone for a couple of days only coming over to get some of the other kids out of their hair for a few hours. It was late August, just a few weeks after Zeke was born, when Madi came back with Otis, Olive, Gail and Jerry, the latter now four and bigger than his over three year older sister. Jerry was by far the broadest kid they had, he'd be a freaking hunk of a man like Lincoln when he was grown up, Murphy was dead-set on it, while Gail was pretty small for her age, still making up for her tininess by her temper and loud mouth. 

Madi had taken them to the woods to play near the creek and go exploring places, where the kids weren't allowed to go without an adult by their side. Madi looked sheepish, followed by the kids and, on second sight, an ugly creature that looked like a mix between a wolf and a big-ass rat.

"What the hell is that?,“ Murphy exclaimed.  
"It's a Carvo."  
"A what? It looks like the freaking hyena from Lion King."  
"From what?"  
"Gosh, I hate that Pop Culture References aren't a thing around here." Where was Octavia when you needed her? At least she had a childhood full of old movies from the time before the bombs destroyed the earth for the first time. Not much to do if your brother had to hide you from the rest of the world. A shame though, that they couldn't save movies from the old times. A fortune that the Primes brought music and books like crazy.

"Whatever,“ Madi rolled her eyes. "Normally they would never come to the Creek. They don't like humans. Hope and I had a really hard time studying them because of that. But this one here was hungry enough to go out so far from his precinct. It must've been banished by his pack. Look." Madi touched the mutts face to show Murphy the left side of it. It looked horrific. There were only shreds left of his ear, almost all the fur missing on the left side of his face, up to his nose. His eye looked dull, an angry scar running through the skin around it. The flesh on that side of the mutts face was scarred as well, biting marks clearly still visible.

„I think it was his own pack, the teeth marks add up. They hunt in groups, so that‘s why he‘s famished.“  
Murphy gulped. Poor devil.  
„So what now? You bringing him to Clarke?“ Since Picasso died just a year ago, she was playing around with DNR samples she took. The Bardoans and her were thinking about cloning dogs or some shit. Murphy didn‘t even want to know what they were up to. 

Emori, like the freaking politician that still lived inside her, had to discuss it with Clarke. Emori called it unethical, she said they weren‘t supposed to play god, Clarke called it preservation of races that were extinct. Murphy thought Clarke just wanted to have a dog and Emori was overreacting. He was glad that they agreed to disagree, as long as Clarke promised to never ever play with human DNR.

„No uhm,“ Madi stammered, a foot drawing circles on the ground.  
„Tell me you are going to take it home then, Madi.“ Murphy was pretty proud of his dad-voice.  
„No, once uhm a group of Carvos tried to hunt Luca and he was pretty scared of them. I can‘t take him.“

„We can take him, right daddy?,“ Olive asked and suddenly four pairs of hopeful children's eyes were looking at him.  
„Absolutely not.“ Murphy crossed his arms. „Are you crazy?“

„But he is super cool,“ Gail exclaimed, pouting her lips and Olive added: „He really needs a home. Pretty please.“  
„Have you looked at it. No, Jer, don‘t touch it.“  
„His name is Ryder,“ Otis said stoically, looking to the ground, but Murphy saw his shoulders tremble.

„What‘s wrong, kid?“ he asked. Otis said nothing, instead grabbing at that ugly mutt and holding onto the long fur of his right side.

Murphy made his way over, careful as not to startle the wild animal. They couldn‘t take it, not even if it would have been the most beautiful Carvo there was. It was a wild animal for fucks sake. Emori would have his hide the way she was mothering the kids since she stopped being Chancellor.

„He looks just as fucked up as me." Murphy stopped in his tracks, looking at his second born son. True, over the time Otis scarred face had turned even more prominent, going from his high cheekbone down to his chin and below, just stopping a few centimeters before his t-shirt line. Some spots were dark red, others shades of pink running like watercolors into his light brown skin. Luckily his left eye and his mouth were perfectly functional and his scars didn't hurt him.

"You don't look fucked up, Otis,“ Murphy said and crouched down in front of his son and the ugly mutt.

"I do." Tears were streaming over Otis eyes. Had he always been struggling? Had Murphy missed it? Were his other kids struggling with how special they were? Murphy gulped. He just hoped he hasn't been a bad father, missing his kids issues with how they looked. But he forced that thought to the back of his mind.  
"You look badass, sweet boy."

"You're lying." Otis balled his hands into little fists. Murphy got it. His kid was angry, containing himself, crying and trembling because he couldn't. Murphy totally got him. He had been just the same as a kid.

"Come here,“ he said and grabbed at his son to pull him into a hug. Otis tried halfheartedly to fight out of his father's grasp.

"No! You think Ryder is ugly."  
“I’m sorry, Otis. Really am.” Murphy raised up and took his son with him, holding him like he’d done when he was a little boy. It must be looking dumb, but Murphy had the deep urge to protect his kid and he could do it best while carrying him like a little child. Otis wrapped his arms and legs around his father and buried his head between Murphy's shoulder and his head. "I promise I don't think he is ugly."

The kid was still crying softly but his body was lax, anger fading with Murphy caressing his dark hair. It had grown too long, they definitely needed to cut it. Murphy wondered if he had let it grow to hide his face behind the bangs. 

“I don’t know if we should take him, though, Ots. It’s a wild animal and I gotta think about you and your siblings here.”  
“He needs a home, daddy. Please.”  
“I’ll talk about it with Mom, okay? No promises. And he’s not gonna live in the house. If,“ Murphy raised a hand to silence his other triumphant kids, “if we take him, we gonna build him a kennel outside.”  
  
Of course, after hearing the full story, Emori agreed to take the mutt in. Her heart was far too big and truly, by now, Murphy was even glad they did take him in. This was the example he wanted to set for his kids. Help those in need. Nobody was ugly, just special. Our home is open for everyone who needs it. Who would have thought, these were morals he wanted his kids to learn and live by. 

Definitely not the stupid seventeen year old angry delinquent he once had been, when he first set foot to the ground.   
Some things never changed. Murphy still had two left hands when it came to handiwork and Bellamy was preoccupied with being a teach and his newborn son Hector - only Bellamy would be so dumb as to call his sons after the warriors of Illiad who ultimately tried and partly managed to kill each other. 

Bellamy had said that both had been his favorites and Echo agreed because he told her what great warriors both had been. Murphy could only roll his eyes about that level of stupid. Hopefully they wouldn’t ever get a daughter. Ontari was surely kinda a hero in Echos Azgeda tradition, nightblood and all. Murphy got goosebumps thinking about it. But either way, since neither he or Bellamy were able to build a small hut for the stupid mutt his kids brought home, naturally it only took a bit of rain and the sad eyes of his horde to bring the dirty and wet animal in. 

“He stays in the kitchen, got it? And only until it’s dry outside.”

Of course the mutt never had to stay outside another night, not even if the night sky was clear and full of stars. And over the days, Murphy found himself thinking of that stupid mutt as Ryder. Ryder was shy and careful at first, but he wasn’t fazed by his kids loud voices or the booming of footsteps on the stairs. It only took a few days and some food as incentive for the mutt to be all cuddly and fun. 

He was really like a freaking dog, tamer even than Picasso, if he wasn't once again involved in the shenanigans of the kids. Murphy thought maybe he should give up on finding his woolen slippers in the strangest places around home. He was way too young to wear domestic shit like that either way.

Emori seemed to be in love with it instantly too, even if she wasn't that into playing and cuddling with the Carvo like their kids were. But suddenly there was always some leftover chicken at home. In Sanctum they didn't ration food. 

Their farmers and cattlemen were responsible for informing the Chancellor of any issues in harvest or stock, but they have been pretty lucky so far. One year the apples had been all mushy and ripe way too early, but Niylah knew a way to make Cider out of it. Another year the cows seemed to give a lot less milk than before, but Nelson played around with their diet and afterwards the milk was better and tasted richer than ever before. They were really lucky, they had enough. Murphy would never forget the times when hunger was a threat. 

On the Ark, on Earth, even on the Ring - because Algae was really not that great as Monty made it out to be. And Murphy couldn't even start to imagine what it had been like for the people in the bunker to eat human meat. Murphy just hoped his kids would never know hunger, would never know war.


	13. This was never what we were all about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, next chapter.

10 Years and 5 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
It had been Clarkes own fault, for telling Lex about Monty and Jasper and about the pranks they'd pulled all the time. So Murphy didn't feel sorry for her at all, not when her pen was glued to her desk, not when she got stinking letters, not when there was pepper in her tea-mix and not even when she was wet to the bone, after going through the door to her office being hit by the insides of the water bucket above. 

Sometimes Lex sure got help from some adult - Murphy knew that Rex and Madi were totally into it - but most of the time he came up with his mischief all by himself. More than once Murphy had found him at the big kitchen table, drawing plans of his next prank instead of doing the homework Bellamy, Madi or the other teachers handed out. 

Clarke always reacted accordingly for Lex to not lose the fun of pranking her, but she never held a grudge, instead once every few months she got her revenge on him, putting salt instead of sugar in the cookies she made for him or when she exchanged his toothpaste for one she had prepped with colorful berries that left his teeth purple for days.

Clarke had certainly changed. All of them had, but with her it was more prominent. She was more open, softer and way more funny, almost to the point that she was annoying Murphy sometimes. He wasn’t used to not having a retort at someone being sarcastic. But Clarke excelled in sarcasm and she clearly seemed to enjoy the prank war that had been going on for some time now between her and Lex. 

Not being responsible for saving or destroying the human race had that effect on her. Murphy didn‘t care at all if his son's teeth were purple or blue, he didn‘t care if Clarke chased Lex around Sanctum, followed by her pack of test tube puppy dogs. Murphy was just glad Clarke wasn‘t up to destroying what they build here in Sanctum by trying to make it better.

And life on Sanctum was good, Murphy thought. Especially for the kids. Murphy remembered being young on the ark. Growing up there meant rules, rations and the paralyzing knowledge of not being one generation to go down to the ground. They were only born to ensure the procreating of the human race. Not much on the ark was truly about living. 

Before his father died, Murphy had been a quiet kid, who would‘ve thought. His parents were good to him, sweet even, but they thought it was better to not be seen and not be heard. When his dad died by being seen stealing medicine for him, Murphy had thought fuck it, and became that snarky little shit, he was on those first days on the ground. Murphy could never undo those early days and the deaths he caused, but he did regret even killing those who hanged him. They‘ve all been kids. They shouldn‘t have become murderer. 

But there was no way to change the past and the future looked bright. Being a kid in Sanctum was like a safe haven and a field of freedom at the same time. Kids were allowed to be as loud as they liked, food was plentiful and they were the generation they all relied on. Seeing them outgrow the mistakes of their parents was what it was all about. One day children wouldn‘t be murderer. Hopefully one day nobody was. 

Murphy lay on his couch, his head on Emoris lap, while she was stroking his recently air dried hair. Murphy really loved the improved water pressure of their shower. He could spent hours beneath the stream. Water pressure on the ark was never that good. 

„I really like happy on you, John.“  
„I really like naked on you, ‘Mori,“ he grinned cheekily and she lightly slapped his chest. 

„You‘re unbelievable,“ she said. Her cheeks reddened slightly. Murphy liked that he could still make his wife blush. After all those years. 

It was a rare quiet evening. Even after tucking their children in, there was usually one who was thirsty, needed another kiss or cuddle, just one story more please. Murphy and Emori tried to offer each of their kids the attention that they needed, but the kids learned to rely on each other too. So sometimes getting a cup of water was a reachable quest with you brother at your side. The kids crawled into each others beds. Instead of trying to enforce order, Emori and Murphy embraced the way their kids loved each other. 

“You’re beautiful”, Murphy said, looking up to his wife.   
“Stop, John.” She was still blushing, but her grin was sexy and promising of more.   
“I thought we were stating facts,” he said cheekily and she huffed. 

“Oh you did?” She leaned down and grabbed his lips in a kiss, softly biting at them after a while. Murphy groaned at the slight pain. They weren’t kinky often, making sweet love usually, but he also liked when Emori took charge. She was hot when she was bossy and he was only a man. 

Murphy kissed back, enthusiastically but without raising his head from the pillow on her lap. He gasped into her mouth when he felt her fingers stroking down his belly to his hardening member. She always got him going fast, even after all this time. He liked making love to his beautiful wife.   
Murphy lifted his hand to her chest and touched her still clothed breast, until she moaned softly. 

She stopped kissing him then, looking down at his face and he felt the familiar affection towards her. Both had been through so many bad things, a lot of them involving harm done to their bodies. Both knew what torture felt like, what rape did to your mind and body, so a lot of being intimate still was about trust, about familiarity. Love was the only way to live with the trauma. 

Murphy let his fingers wander higher, caressing her upper chest, the side of her neck and finally her cheek, the little scar on it. He directed her face down to his but before they got tangled up in another kiss, they front door opened, shocking both of them into an upright position. They only locked their door when nobody was home or shortly before they went to bed but usually this late nobody was inviting themselves without knocking first. 

“Raven Reyes. When will you finally learn how to knock?” Murphy groaned and let his head fall back to the pillow on Emoris lap. 

“Raven, what’s wrong?” Emori said, worry in her voice, looking over at her best friend. Raven still stood in the entryway, behind her the door fell into it’s lock.   
“Don’t tell me the world’s ending again.” He points to Emori. “Don’t have time for that. Someones gotta have to repopulate it.”

“Can I come in?” Raven sounded unsure, sad even. No, it was more, Murphy thought. She sounded like back when she had been the one responsible for the death of Hatch and his buddies. She sounds defeated. Guilty. That was why Murphy stood up and went over to her, directing her back to the couch with his hand on the small of her back. She sat down next to Emori and Murphy sat across from them on the small wooden table. 

"Raven," Emori said once again and laid her badass hand on Ravens shoulder. Raven leaned into it and took a deep breath. 

"Penn and me, we fought," she said finally. But then she was quiet again, as if that fact explained her strange behavior.   
"Couples fight," Murphy said and Emori nodded in agreement. 

"You don't," Raven sighed. "Not anymore." It was true. Murphy and Emori bickered sometimes, they discussed things but the last time they fought was weeks before the massacre, still up in space. There was no use in yelling, no use in ignoring each other. They were in this together, as a team. There was nothing the world could throw at them that they couldn`t confront better together than alone.

"What did you fight about?" Emori asked.  
"Penn said I'd never love him as much as I loved Finn."  
"That fucker!"  
"John!"

"What?!" Murphy and Penn had accepted each other a long time ago as allies, even before the massacre and they grew used to be friends because of Raven. Murphy still remembered the hostility between them. Penn had been in the village where Murphy had been tortured in those first ugly weeks on the ground. And Murphy had stood by when Finn massacred people dear to Penn. Trikru. Murphy should have done more. 

As a kid he had been angry at Raven trying to give him over instead of Finn, but truth to be told if he'd been in her shoes and the choice was between Emori and her, he'd have chosen to sacrifice her to save who he loved. So he understood and he forgave her. Like she forgave him for crippling her. Like he forgave her for sending him into the reactor room with Hatch. There was so much forgiveness. Between all of them. That was what it was all about. Sanctum was build on forgiveness. 

Murphy had forgiven Penn a long time ago and he hoped Penn returned the favor. But forgiving didn't equalize forgetting. How could Penn forget that Finn murdered his people. Murphy understood, but he was angry. Because Penn choose Raven, knowingly about her involvement with Finn. He choose her and he couldn't say shit like that. That was not how they worked in Sanctum. The fundament they built their society upon was still frail. If people started to see things like this again it could easily crumble. 

"He wasn't really mean about it," Raven explained. "Today is the day, you know, when … when Finn died. And I was off. Penn tried to help, he tried to get me out of my head and then he tried talking. Talking about my feelings and you know what I did? I told him to fuck off. Like, who does that to their husband?"

"Raven," Emori said, comforting. She still had her hand on Ravens shoulder, stroking soothing circles into the skin, while Raven continued talking: "I was angry at Penn. I knew he was among them who wanted Finns blood. I forgave him, long ago. I love him. But I needed … I just needed … space."

"It's okay, Raven."  
"But it isn't. We made up even. He said it's okay if I won't ever love him like I loved Finn. But that he is the one alive. It's just … I never thought about it that way."  
"Is it true?" Emori asked flat out. Murphy knew she could be to direct for many peoples likings. But just like him, Raven had always cherished that part about her.   
"Yes," Raven said, tears pooling in her eyes. "Finn was my … we were … what you are."

Emori laid her arm around Ravens shoulder, hugging her to the side of her chest, while Murphy absentminded put one hand on her bad knee. He still felt sorry. And after Emori and the kids, Raven was the closest thing to family he had. 

They were all quiet for a while, before Raven started talking again, softly, her voice heavy with memories: "When we broke up, I told Finn that he didn't love me the way I want to be loved." Her leg was jiggling with nervousness under Murphys hand, so he grabbed it a bit tighter, trying to calm her body. He'd seen how Raven broke. 

In ALIEs lab, on the Ring sometimes and the worst, when she got to know how it felt to be one the wrong side of being the good guy, back when her actions resulted in the death of Hatch and his buddies. Her body always broke with her. He knew that feeling. They were quite similar that way.   
"The truth is I never felt loved how I wanted to be loved ever again after Finn. Exept by you."

"We will always love you, Raven," Emori said and Murphy added: "You're our family."

As if on cue to not get sentimental about it, Murphy heard his four month old son cry through the partly opened bedroom door. He made his way over to collect Zeke and craddled him to his chest. He stopped at the kitched counter to heat up some of Emoris pumped breast milk. Usually they used it when he was home alone with the baby, but right now might not be the best situation for Emori to breastfeed either. She was still hugging Raven to her side, so Murphy sat down again on the table across from them, Zeke still craddled to his chest. 

"Penn knows. I don't have to tell him. He knows." Murphy knew that was what scared Raven. Penn might be her significant other for almost ten years now, they might have a kid together, they might tinker in their garage together, but for Raven that would never be enough to let him in wholy. 

"It's okay, Raven," he repeated Emoris words from before, while looking down at his little son, feeding him affortlessly. Ten years of experience made parenting babies easy . "Things are different now. Maybe you don't need the love, you needed on the Ark. I certainly don't." He smiled - smiled softly, not grinned - yeah he was capable of that - to Emori and she smiled back, proud of him and his words. With her smaller hand, she petted Ravens hair, changing Ravens sad expression into an annoyed one. Raven still didn't like to be coddled, even if that was what she came for.

„You really good at that parenting-shit,“ Raven said, sarcasm covering her vulnerability.   
„Sure are,“ Murphy grinned, laying Zeke against his shoulder to softly pat against his back. Murphy felt brave today, so he forewent the cloth he usually laid across his shoulder to not get a wet burp on his shirt. He looked at Raven, his grin growing by the joke in his head. „Want a bedtime story, Reyes?“

10 Years and 7 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

It was a month after christmas, ten and a half years after they first came to Sanctum, that it snowed like they knew from earth. Of course there had been nights before where the temperature sunk below freezing point, but the tiny snowflakes never stayed well into the day. 

This time it started snowing just shortly after the kids went to sleep and in the morning, when they woke up, there was still snowfall. Heavy and thick flakes floated down from puffy white clouds. The ground was white, there was more than an inch snow on every rooftop and the green of the forest was covered in powder. 

The kids were playing outside. Lex, Otis, Scott and Gail were running around like young wolfes, throwing balls of snow at each other. Ryder had been skeptical about the snow at first, feeling the cold on his muzzle, but now he jumped between the kids and tried to fetch the snowballs they were throwing. 

Olive and her friend Sadie were making snow angels. Harmony tried to copy her older sister. The outlines of her body in the snow reminded Murphy of those baby angels in the old pantings he remembered from the history books of the ark. 

Emori and Alyssa were helping Jerry and Hatch build a snow man, while Murphy stood back his front porch, carrying little Zeke in a sling under his jacket, to keep the little boy warm. He was napping peacefully against his fathers breast and Murphy was watching his kids have fun in the very first snow of their life. 

Murphy remembered seeing snow for the first time. He was traveling with Emori and it had been scary. The cold forrest offered no food for them and the wind was freezing cold. They found shelter in a cave but there was no dry wood to make a fire, so they slept naked unter all the blankets and furs they stole in the weeks before. It was their own body warmth that helped them survive the night. Murphy was glad they had a house now to shelter their babies, a fireplace and enough dry wood stored to heat it. They had warm water and enough food to last them through the winter. It was a comfortable life and Murphy was thankful for it. 

“I never played in the snow, when I grew up.” Murphy looked to the side, startled by Echos voice next to him. He had been so deep in though that he missed how Bellamy and his son Archi started to build a snowman of their own, right next to Emoris. Now Murphy looked at her. She was laughing, her gaze directed at Bellamy. She was telling him something but Murphy couldn’t make out the words. 

“I never saw snow until I was an adult already.” Barely one - it must’ve been before his eighteen birthday, but how could he call himself a kid back then when he killed before he spotted snowfall for the very first time. 

“They look so happy,” Echo said, craddling her son Hector to her chest. There was something akin to longing in her voice but her gaze looked soft and content. Murphy grunted in affirmatice. He liked how she stood next to him on the porch, both of them watching their new boys, while even more people were coming up to the front of his house to join the fun. 

Clarke arrived with her new puppies in tow. They were soon following the snowballs, jumping across each other. Madi and her boyfriends had started a snowball fight with some other young adults a couple of yards down by the forest. Miller and Jackson were watching them from their own front porch right next to Murphys house, steaming mugs in their hands. Murphy should go in and make some warm drinks too, but instead he remained on the porch, watching all his friends and the people of Sanctum enjoy the first snow outside. 

A couple of houses over he spotted Hope and Jordan with their little girl Maya. She was huddled in warm clothes to keep her healthy in the cold snow and she was making snowangels with her parents.   
Octavia was over there too, talking softly to Hope, while Levitt made his way over to Bellamy, his kids in tow. Lilli ran over to play with Lex and Otis, she really seemed to have enough of being the third wheel with Olive and Sadie and the boys had no problem with her being a girl. She was cool and Murphy and Emori made sure to raise their kids good. When if came to making friends, it didn’t matter if you were born a boy or a girl. But the kids had enough great role models to know that either way. 

Raven soon joined the snowball fight, not fazed by her leg. She had her daughter in tow and little Amelia was a champ at throwing the snowballs her father made for her. Penn was a cheat and he shilded his little girl whenever someone tried to throw on at her but Murphy thought he did good. If Gail was younger he’d certainly be down there to do the same. But now, turning eight next summer she was even more of a spitfire than ever. 

“This is so good for him”, Echo said again, her gaze directed to Bellamy, who was collecting sticks and stones to give the snowman a face.   
Murphy knew she wasn’t talking about the snow. He knew, by her hand, that was softly stroking over her little sons head. He knew by Zekes warmth against his breast. He knew by their kids laughter and by the view of the community they made. 

“This is what it’s all about”, he said, voice quiet to only reach her ears but determined and sure of the truth in them. Maybe Emori wasn’t the only politican in the family. He had learnt enough. “Fighting was never who we were. I know that Clarke believed it. So many of us believed it. But that was never what we were all about.”

“Do you think Monty would be proud?” Echo looked at him now. There was wariness in her eyes. Echo never believed that she earned the good she got in her life. Murphy didn’t knew her back when they first came to the Ring. Bellamy told him that he knew her. Monty and Harper did too, they saw her on the battlefield, they knew her from back when she was a traitor. Emori didn’t knew her but she knew Echos kind. Azgeda hated Frikdreina even more than the other Clans did, so she had been wary to be in a tincan in space withe the Ice Nation Spy. 

But to Murphy Echo had been a clean slate and he soon found out that she was not that different from him. She was a castout, she was lost without her Clan just like he had been lost when his father died. So when he asked Harper and Raven to take care of Emori, he might have asked them to include Echo too. In secret he took pride at maybe being at least a little bit responsible for what they became. Space Sisters, what a thing. 

“Oh yeah!” Murphy said with a big grin, before turning serious again. “We needed a moment but we did better. We are doing better.” He shifted his gaze back to the kids. Lex catched him looking, just as a big snowball hit his face. Murphy huffed out a laugh, before shifting his attention back to Echo. “Our children have never known war. All that we do, we do it so it stays that way. These kids are our shot at doing good.”

Echo nodded, as she looked down to her son, her gaze was warm and her face full of awe. Murphy knew that she never wanted to be a mother, before getting pregnant with Archi all those years ago. But by the look on her face Murphy was confirmed that she was a good one. She loved her boys dearly.

“Yu laik osu aftain. Yu laik chilnes”, Echo whispered to her baby boy and Murphy grinned. She was right. If these kids where all that the future held for them it was indeed a peaceful one. Murphy was proud to be a part of the village that raised them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Yu laik osu aftain. Yu laik chilnes - You are our future. You are peace. 
> 
> I’d love to hear your thoughts about it. 
> 
> Stay safe. Stay Healthy.


	14. You’re hiring, Murphy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, enjoy!

10 Years and 11 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
The Tavern was still a central place for the People of Sanctum. Murphy always thought the Tavern was a reflection of the society they built. He knew it was sappy, but he loved that people who once fought against each other, now sat in companionship and drank a pot of cider or some Jo-Juice. Sure, once every few months someone wasn't able to hold his liquor and there was a quarrel between some people. Gladly, the troublemakers seemed to not really care if it was Wonkru or a Convict or some Sanctumite who got a pummeling. 

Lots of times, Murphy, Bellamy and Miller had been the ones to break off booze fights, but in the end it had been Echos idea that decreased the quarrels in the tavern. Echo still trained with her bow and arrow, with swords and in combat. A few Wonkru people had joined her training early on, but when Echo offered training for all, people found an outlet for their anger. 

Luckily, Murphy thought, that didn't stop them from coming to the Tavern in the evenings. Murphy really grew fond of that place and he never made a secret out of the fact that he liked a glass of Jo-Juice way more than getting his ass beat by Echo.  
  
It was almost eleven years after Murphy first stepped into the tavern and met Mr. and Mrs. Workman, who had soothed his fear of hell with liquor, when she told him one day that they had to close the Tavern. They were old, already over sixty, and Jae Workman had suffered a stroke last month that left him bedridden. Blythe Ann Workman was doing what she could, but the early death of her daughter Delilah, the long work hours of the past years and the terror they brought with them at first took it’s toll on her. 

The People of Sanctum, especially the young and unmarried ones, really liked to be in the Tavern until the morning sun rose - and now the care of her husband took their toll on her and her own health.  
Murphy knew that it would only take some days to relocate the Workmans to a house better suited for them. Mr. Workman probably would never be able again to take stairs. Murphy overheard Jordan and Emori talking about a home for older people. It was certainly strange to see so many people getting wrinkles and grey hair. Murphy was glad they did.

But even though Murphy knew that it was only a matter of time until someone would take over the tavern, he sat on a barstool across from Mrs. Workman, quietly sulking.

“John”, Murphy liked that she was one of the rare people to call him by his first name. She was a really motherly person and Murphy, now a dad himself, still felt guilty that they were only weeks too late to save their daughter Delilah. “Don’t worry. I will share my receipts with whoever is taking over.”  
“Not about your receipts,“ Murphy grumbled - and true it was partly about her receipts - “not going to be the same without you here.”

“Stop flattering me, young man”, she chided him and Murphy huffed a laugh, despite everything.  
“Only the truth.” He grinned his flirty smile that was normally reserved for Emori.  
“So who is taking over?”, he asked after a while. Mrs. Workman had served some other people in the meantime but it was a quiet afternoon. The bunch of people would stroll in after the sun had gone down.

"Nobody yet. Jordan is searching for someone. But People got their own ideas now."  
"Yeah, I know,“ Murphy huffed out a laugh, "Luca really opened up his barber shop and Penn's building Motorbikes like a maniac." Murphy and Emori had talked about getting one and she told him she would see if she could be helpful building them. That was three months ago. 

Now Emori almost went over everyday to tinker around. Murphy approved. One of the main reasons why he thought it was a good idea for her to step down as Chancellor, beside more shared time for each other and their horde, had been that he wanted her to find her younger self again. Emori loved tech, always had. And she had a knack for it. A real talent. In Murphys eyes even more than Raven fucking Reyes, but he was biased there. Murphy was almost sorry, he'd never seen her land a rocket. That was one of the many accomplishments she hadn't needed him for, but sadly one of the few he hadn't been witness to. Murphy made it no secret that he worshipped his wife like crazy.

"Gabriel is almost ready to debut his play. Jae told me he wants to see it. They always talked about The Crucible and Romeo and Juliet,“ Mrs. Workman told him, before going off to take away some glasses, before taking new orders from one of the tables in the back. The first years after the massacre of Sanctum Gabriel still strolled out the woods to look over the deactivated anomaly stone - Murphy didn't know if he felt sorry for the guy to never have gotten his answers. 

Later on he got into his work with Raven, the doctors and the Bardoans to make Sanctum a safer and more technological and medical developed place. Murphy was certain he had a crush on Raven, but he never acted on it, just like he never acted on his crush on Octavia. Gabriel was a strange man, Murphy thought, but somehow he got it. If Emori would have died, Murphy was sure he'd never be able to love another woman. And Gabriels once in a lifetime had been Josephine.

"What about me?,“ Murphy said out of the blue. Really, one moment he was thinking about the sad life of Gabriel Santiago and the next moment it seemed like he had not thought anything at all. Because really, him as a tavern owner? It hadn't been that Murphy didn't want to work. But while Emori was out being important he was happy to stay home with their children. 

Murphy liked to do things he was good at. And, yeah there had been times when he was unsure of himself, worrying about being not good enough, about harming his kids with the world he brought them into and despite the fact that his kids were a bunch of savages - really did anyone expect anything else? - he knew he was good at being a father. He was way more involved in the decision Emori made over Sanctum, than most people knew - giving his input in the dark of their room and he had been there to help, when someone needed his help, like the time Nikki had cracked her rip and needed an assistant for a couple of weeks to help with heavier welding work. But he had never thought of doing something full-time, not even as Emori decided to step down as Chancellor. 

They had enjoyed that life became a bit more quiet for a while and Murphy really had wanted her to spend time with the things she liked to do. As much as he loved to ravish her in bed - being thirty-three hadn't killed his sex drive at all - and as much as he loved to see her mother their horde, it was special to see her do things for herself. He could watch her for hours, sitting on the closed toilet seat, taking a bath, while listening to the radio. Yes, they even had a freaking portable Radio now in almost every house where they played music that was brought by original Mission Team Alpha. Miller and a young Sanctumite girl also did their own radio show for a couple of months now. Murphy thought it was hilarious how they had guests over and talked about the news of Sanctum. It was funny and awesome at the same time how The People of Sanctum took certain things from before the apocalypse and made them their own, a part of Sanctum. 

Emori had played a big role in that while she had been the Chancellor, always listening to the people and the parts of their traditions, lore and cultural memory they wanted to preserve or bring to life again. She still played a role now, using her great mind and her gifted hands to rebuild and to invent.

"John, you'd really take it?" Why the hell were Blythe Ann Workmanns eyes wet? "Boy, this would be … Jae would be overjoyed."  
Murphy laughed embarrassed, but also pleased in a way. He knew they liked him, liked them all - maybe they stood for something that had always lived in that courageous and kind couple but was awaken too late to save their own daughter.

"I have to talk it through with Emori. The kids are still …" Murphy stopped. He already knew Emoris answer. He knew that - despite telling her time and time again, that he loved being a father, that it was okay for her to go and tinker away in Ravens Garage - Emori felt guilty that he never had the chance to find something in Sanctum he was burning for. Murphy wasn't enough of a sap to tell her that sitting in the middle of their bed, surrounded by their offspring, telling them a bedtime story, was exactly what he was burning for.

"You do that, my boy." He knew it had slipped, but he grabbed Mrs. Workman's wrinkled hand either way.  
"Delilah was supposed to take over here,“ he said, almost whispering but then stronger. "I'm sorry we came too late."  
"Take a look outside." Her eyes were still wet. "You came. That's what mattered. My Delilah would think so too."  
  
Later that evening Bellamy held a Barbeque in his yard.  
“Happy fucking Birthday, old man”, Murphy gratulated him, tackling his best friend - his brother but that was definitly to sappy - in a one armed hug.

“Thirty-nine is not that old,“ Echo said, age being her sore spot since she was a few years older than Bellamy now. Stupid Time-Dilation.  
“It is, if you are as grey as him.”  
Bellamy shoved him away playfully.  
“Shut up, Murphy.”

“You are not supposed to say shut up, Uncle Bellamy!,“ Gail chided him. Already used to her cheekiness - if anyone was her father's kid it was her - Bellamy just grabbed the seven year old and carried her over to the grill, swinging her back and forth until she laughed and shrieked in her very own and very loud way.

Murphy looked after them, grinned and made his way over to Emori, who already sat with the younger kids on a picnic blanket. Niylah and Clarke were keeping her company, talking quietly and entertaining the toddlers.

Murphy sat down next to his wife, kissing her on top of her head while sinking down.  
“Hi, gotta talk to you about something.”  
“Hey, John.” Emori knew that he would be a bit later, going into town for some errands and to visit Mrs. Workman in the Tavern. “Everything went okay? How’s Blythe Ann?”

Murphy nodded and grabbed her naked ankle to lightly caress it with his fingertips.  
”What do you think about me working in the Tavern?”  
“Of course! You should help her until Jae is better again.” Emori grinned at him, at the same time catching Harmony who was running into her arms, blabbering a very eloquent story about butterflies.

“Sounds awesome”, Emori commented, hugging her daughter tight. Murphy leaned forward to press a wet kiss on his daughter's cheek, which had her erupting in laughter. Murphy listened around him. From all over the yard kids were laughing and shrieking. It was the sweetest sound. Murphy grinned.

“It’s not really only helping her though, ‘Mori. More a permanent thing.” He grabbed his own neck, kneading it self-consciously.  
“Oh”, Emori sounded. Murphy was surprised that she was speechless. He had either expected her to support him without a doubt or to directly tell him why it really wasn’t a good idea.

“You as a barkeeper is really the most logical thing on this moon!,“ Niylah said.  
“Not true! Murphys better at drinking then at serving, that’s for sure.” Clarke grinned and Murphy wondered when within the last couple of years Clarke Griffin had learned humor or when he’d grown so used to her bad jokes to even find them funny.

“You, Princess, knock back way more glasses then Super Dad by now.” Bellamy appeared by their blanket, Gail still on his heel and his younger son Hector cradled against his shoulder.

“Give him to me and shut up, Bellamy”, Clarke said, content with not having kids on her own but totally into holding all new babies.  
“I’m not doing it if you don’t want me to, ‘Mori”, Murphy told her quietly, still petting the top of her foot.

“It’s not that. Just … I wanted to tell you next week, because of your …” It was his birthday next week. Thirty-Four, Man - that was crazy.  
“How far are you?” He leaned in, whispering and nuzzling her cheek at the same time.  
“Nine Weeks, so we still have lots of time.” Emori grabbed the back of his head. “You’re gonna be a great Barman, John. I’m proud of you.”

“You’re hiring, Murphy?” Niylah asked with a grin. She was throwing and catching a soft ball back and forth with Jerry and Hatch, while sitting on the picnic blanket.

“No.” Murphy grinned back, happy about Emoris news and his future as a dad and tavern owner. He remembered the day he spent in Arkadia, all those years ago. Niylah had taken her job as the last Barkeeper before the Second Apocalypse quite seriously. “But, since repopulating this freaking moon seems to lay solely on Emoris and my shoulders, I could use a co-owner. You, interested, Niylah?”  


11 Years and 2 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

Murphy grew used to kids being sick by now. They were germ-infested little monsters and if one was sniffling and coughing the next one would sure follow. The first time, though, when Lex had gotten an ear infection it had been bad for Murphy. His son had been burning hot with fever. He didn‘t knew why his body suddenly hurt, so he cried until his little voice was hoarse. 

Murphy had been scared and completely out of his wits. For the first night he sat with Lex on his lap in some abandoned room in the half burned down palace, stroking the sweat-damp hair of his boy. Emori and the twins needed to sleep and Murphy had desperately hoped the others wouldn‘t get what Lex had. Murphy didn‘t even think about going to Clarke, until Lex vomited all over Murphy, himself and the loveseat they sat upon. Clarke knew what to do, she even had medicine for Lex. But even with the medicine it took nearly three weeks for him to be healthy again. 

On the Ark any medicine for a boy of Lex age would have surely been cut off by the end of the first week. On Sanctum they didn‘t do this shit. When someone needed medical attention of whatever kind, they got it. Nobody had to die because shit got rationed. 

That was why Murphy wasn‘t scared anymore when his children got sick. It still was bad to see them suffer and he spoiled them rotten when they were bedridden, but he knew medicine was just a doctors visit away. Murphy couldn‘t imagine the agony his father must have felt, back when the choice was to let his kid die or to steal medicine in an environment like the Ark where people got floated for lesser things.

When Gail started sniffling two weeks ago, Murphy hadn‘t thought any of it. She was a wildflower but sometimes nature took it‘s toll on her, especially at the end of summer when the pollen of the late bloomers floated through the air. But when she started coughing and feeling tired all of a sudden, Murphy knew it was the summer flu. Lex was next, he never let out any infection, but most of the time he only had ear pains, that made him cranky. So Murphy send him to bed early that night, after giving him some light pain killers, that helped him sleep. 

The little ones took it a bit harder but fortunately Gail was almost back to good when Jerry, Hatch and Harmony got sick within twenty-four hours. First was Harmony, almost three by know and quite the talker, who told him, that she felt itchy. Murphy was hoping against hope that it was only the summer flu and not anything more but as luck strikes him, naturally chickenpox where still a thing even after the apocalypse, even on another planet - yeah yeah moon, he‘d never get used to that. Clarke brought over medicine for her, some fever medication and ointment to sooth the itch. Murphy made her take a soak in an oatmeal bath, before applying the ointment. It seemed to sooth Harmony enough for her to sleep, just at the right moment for Hatch and Jerry to announce their almost matching itching spots on their foreheads. 

Murphy instantly checked them over and sighed, preparing another oatmeal filled bath for the boys. Both of them, still at the early stage of their chickenpox infection, played in the tub, so Murphy was able to wash his hands and call for Emori to check over the other kids. 

Thankfully all the others seemed to be fine, resulting in Emori packing their bags to leave the germ infested house for Murphy and the little Chickenpox-Monsters. Raven or Clarke would certainly take them in for as long as Murphy and the three little ones needed the house for their self proclaimed quarantine. Better safe then sorry, especially with Emori being pregnant in the early stages. 

Murphy thankfully had the chickenpox, like almost every kid on the Ark, when he had been really young, so he was not to worried about getting sick himself, not that it would‘ve hold him back from caring about his kids. Murphy applied the ointment to his boys too, before putting them to bed in the room they shared. Sleep was always a good medicine, but Murphy was glad to have oral drops against the fever and pain and ointment to sooth the kids itches. 

He once again thought about his own father, while sitting by Harmonys bedside, watching her small chest rise and fall. How hard it must have been for him to see his kid suffer without any good solution to help him. His dad shouldn‘t have died that day. But Murphy was proud. If it ever came to the decision to sit by and do nothing or to protect or safe his babies, he would always choose the latter. 

The first night was rough. The kids always woke at the same time, thirsty, itchy, hot and cranky. They wanted something to drink, some entertainment to distract them from the itching spots on their bodies, some cuddles despite those irritating their pox. So Murphy complied. He made them tea, only lukewarm, so they were able to drink it on their own, he rubbed ointment onto their baby-soft skin, he told them bedtime stories to distract them and tried to sooth their crankiness by rubbing the places affectionately, where no chicken pox were making their skin suffer. 

Their „Love You“s before they dozed off was thanks enough for all the commitment he put into caring for them. Their trust in him to make them feel better was more than that even. It made him feel humbled to be needed by those kids. So he sat, almost the whole night, with his back against the wall of his own bedroom. He had put all kids in his and Emoris bed, so he was able to watch over them all at the same time. 

Nights were short for him those sick days and he was thankful for the hot caffein drink that was supposed to smell and taste like coffee back before the apocalypse. Murphy loved it. He sat huddled in a blanket on the floor watching his kids sleep for half the night, only to go and take short naps on the couch. Emori and their friends took care of everything else, while Murphy took care of the sick trio. 

Every day there was food on the doorstep, more medicine, little get-better drawings by the older siblings and some little gifts to put a smile on the mouths of the little patients. Hatch and Jerry loved the little toy cars Raven made for them and Harmony cuddled with her new plushy that looked like an unicorn. 

Murphy read them more bedtime stories than he could count, them thankfully not caring about him reading slowly, whenever the letters seemed to be out of order again. Murphy knew the symptoms of his dyslexia got worse when he was tired or stressed, just like back then, the first day on the ground when he was so full of nerves, he couldn‘t even spell die right. 

On the third day the pox started to open up, leaving behind some brown crusts. The kids were a bit cranky by then. They still felt weak and now everything was even more itchy than before, now that the dry crust emerged where the pox where before. 

Murphy tried to entertain them. He got them involved with baking some cookies, that they were allowed to eat as an afternoon snack, they played board games and Murphy gave more baths than he could count. A good thing oats weren‘t rationed as well. 

When the crust were healed a couple of days after that, Murphy was more than ready to really see his wife and the other kids again. They were only able to talk through the open window with enough space between them to not get infected. Murphy was glad not all of his kids had gotten the chicken pox. He wanted to be better safe then sorry so him and Emori decided to wait another couple of days. 

Clarke was happy to have them live with her in her farm house. While originally most of their people who came back from Bardo stayed there by now it was only her, Niylah, Gaia and Indra. Lex loved to spent time with Clarke and the dogs. They in return were a bit wary about Ryder but they got along good enough. Murphy knew Carvos were normally pretty feral, even more than wolves back on earth but Ryder was the kindest animal Murphy had ever known. Otan tagged along a lot with his older brother and the dogs. Clarke even helped him teach Ryder some tricks. Murphy thought that sounded pretty cool. Olive liked to spent time with Gaia when she was home but she loved the possibility of sleepovers at her best friends Sadies house even more. Trey and Alyssa were happy to have her. 

Gail, seven now and still pretty small for her age, took an almost worrying liking to Indra. Indra was still a warrior at heart. Behind the farmhouse, next to the obstacles Bellamy had built for Clarkes test tube dogs, Indra had her own training ground. Murphy didn‘t know if he should be proud or scared that his daughter learned how to throw knives from Indra. He decided to sit it out and wait. No harm done as long as Gail had fun and Indra kept her safe, right? And there was nothing he could do from home. He had to trust Emoris judgement on this. It was just, that the thought of Gail throwing knifes hit a little bit to close to home to the first days Murphy spent on the ground all those years ago. 

So Murphy took it as a welcome distraction that his kids who still had to stay a few more days quarantined with him, needed more entertainment now that they were feeling better. They played basketball with some bundled up socks and the laundry basket. He built a fort out of blankets and pillows, having dinner in there and even spending one night with his three children cuddled up to him. The strain on his neck was worth the happy grins on his kids faces. And it felt almost like being inside a cave either way. 

Murphy liked Caves. And he still liked cooking. So the day the rest of his family came home he involved Jerry, Hatch and Harmony in the task of making a real big dinner. They made bread themselves and some tomato soup - Emori loved tomatoes since she first had some in the hours spent in the bunker. They made a casserole of potatoes, veggies and some chicken meat, that all the kids loved and a pie for dessert. 

Murphy grinned at his food covered kids. Looked like yet another bath was due before Emori came home. At least now he could skip the oatmeal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let’s see, Murphy is a tavern owner now instead of a stay at home dad, but don’t worry he’ll still have plenty of time for his bunch. 
> 
> Alao yeah, I was clearly inspired by all the quarantines and lockdowns around us when I was writing the second part of this chapter. Bear with me. But you all stay safe and healthy!


	15. Whatever it takes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three Milestones: Baby Nr. 9, we are over 50.000 Words (so offically Novel Lenghts now) and we are meeting Lola, it‘s gonna be a whirlwind I promise! 
> 
> Enjoy 😊

11 Years and 6 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Lex always hung out with his siblings, with Scott - the son of Trey and Alyssa - and with Octavias older daughter Lilli. He liked to play soccer with some kids a few years older or younger than him he knew from school. They were mostly offspring of the Children of Gabriel and the Sanctumites, a rare and odd Wonkru kid in the mix. 

When Lex turned eleven just a few days before the second Christmas they ever celebrated he started to hang out with Lola, the only baby the Bardoans brought when they arrived in Sanctum. 

Lola was two years older than Lex, her hair was as black as the night and she never played soccer. Murphy didn‘t know how the two of them got talking but one day he saw them sitting on the ground between the high bookshelves in the library, paperbacks cluttered around them, whispering quietly to each other. He let them be. He saw them more frequently in the next couple of weeks in the library, below the stairs of the former palace, in the greenhouses or in the alley between the tavern and Nikki's Welding Shop.  
  
Murphy knew he‘d been a late bloomer, being seventeen when Emori was his first everything but eleven was way too young to have a girlfriend, wasn‘t it?

So one evening, when Emori ushered the kids to bed one after the other, cleaning faces, brushing teeth and tucking them in, he stopped Lex from strolling into the bedroom he shared with Otis to take him outside to the porch. Murphy leaned against the railing, while Lex hopped onto it.

„So about this Lola Girl,“ Murphy said, very smoothly (not), „you like her?“  
„She‘s cool,“ Lex commented, not phased in the slightest.  
„Cool,“ Murphy uttered, „and you think she is pretty?“  
„What?“  
„What?,“ Murphy echoed, annoyed by the way his kid played dumb.   
„I don‘t care how she looks. She‘s cool.“  
„So you don‘t wanna hold hands with her or like to kiss her?“  
„Daaad,“ Lex explained horrified, „Noo.“  
  
— —

They welcomed the new year with fireworks - another tradition of the Convicts - and the paper lanterns the Sanctumites did use before on naming day. The Sanctumites didn’t miss the ceremony, certainly didn’t miss to lose one of their own for a cause that only benefited false gods, but they still liked to celebrate with colors, music and lights. Sweet cakes, dancing and the lanterns to send their Atonements into the sky were also big parts of the Sanctumites way of partaking in festivities.

Murphy and Emori never wrote on the lanterns, maybe still thinking their sins were far too heavy to get carried away on a paper-thin lantern. A couple months ago, when they sat on the front porch, all the kids long gone to sleep inside, Emori told him: “I have a name.” She was caressing her baby bump beneath the thin fabric of her blouse.

“I’m all ears.” Murphy stopped feeding Ryder the crispy chicken feet Nelson always gave them for that purpose. Ryder sat like the well-behaved mutt that he was, waiting quietly for his human to continue with the treats.  
“I want to call him Theo.”

“No.” Murphy grabbed another chicken foot, not fazed in the slightest - there had been times on the ground when he would have eaten them himself. Hunger really was one of the worst memories he had of earth. Theolonios Jaha was another one. 

“John”, Emori said his name the way she always did, when she was annoyed with him. “It makes sense. Just think about it.”  
“There are a lot of way more logical choices,“ he had argued.  
“There aren’t. You followed him to the dead zone, John.”  
“Had nothing better to do.”

“But you did it. And we met. Does that mean nothing?”  
“‘Mori”, Murphy groaned. “You really wanna call our kid after freaking Jaha because you think he played matchmaker for us?”

“No.” Emori tapped the book she had lent out from the library. Murphy remembered it had been among the first she had read on her own, after Bellamy taught her for months, the digital save hiding away in their room on the Ring. She had been self-conscious at first. But the ability to read had empowered her. After that Emori had read that book and so many others many times more. 

“The only way out of this labyrinth of suffering is to forgive. It’s time. Let us forgive him, John.”  


So Theo Murphy was born on a cold and quiet day within the first week of the new year. He had fair skin, but his eyes and hair had the color of melted milk chocolate. 

Theos little finger on his right hand was missing and he had downy dark hairs on his lower back and both his outer ears. It had been by far the longest labor she had, countless hours of painful throes.

Afterwards Emori lay spent but content with a healthy baby suckling on her breast in the hospital bed.  
Murphy kissed her sweaty forehead and then his son's little cheek.

“That’s what your momma get’s for calling you Theo, sweet boy.”  
Emori swatted at him, her face full of joy and her swat more a sweet pad by how exhausted she was.

  
11 Years and 10 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
One day, a few months after Murphys sorry first attempt of sex education Lex got into his first fight at school. Bellamy later told him, that it had been Lola who punched that kid in the face for picking on Lex. After that day she acted like his own personal guard dog. Murphy wasn‘t sure if that was really so healthy for them but he let it slide in favor of not trying to talk to his oldest about girls so soon again. He knew he was a bad dad for it, but he just needed a little more time to soothe his battered ego. 

On one of the evenings, when it was Niyahs turn to run the tavern - really it was the best decision to co-run it with her - he sat on the couch in the living room, Theo sleeping against his shoulder. The other kids were already in bed, but it wasn't rare that one of the kids fell asleep somewhere other than their bed. Murphy always checked all rooms before he went to sleep and he almost always carried at least a couple of kids to their beds. Or, if they found themselves in a sleepover with their brothers or sisters and it was comfortable enough, he let them be. 

Theo always slept best in his father's arms, being a daddy's boy through and through, except when it came to feeding. The little shit didn’t like formula, so Emori was essential and very loved for every meal. Murphy, his feet cold because one of his little devils - Ryder included - had once again buried his slippers somewhere, took a sip of his tea, waiting for Emori. She was still in the bathroom, taking her rare chance at an hour long hot bath. Murphy was so glad she had found pleasures they both didn't knew before. They both had. Murphy sometimes couldn't believe how domestic they were. It was a really good life.

Murphy buried his feet between the couch and Ryder's furry belly. The sleepy mutt just raised his head - still scarred but filled out and not as raw as it had been - but decided that Murphy sure wasn't a threat. So he laid his head back down again, cold nose against Murphy's ankle.

"You look sweet,“ Emori said after a while, her beautiful body wrapped in a blue robe, hair done up in a turban of towels. She came over, petted Ryder's functional floppy ear, kissed Theos thick hair and then her husband's cheek. Murphy really liked it when she did that. It was a special treat she only gave him, when she was particularly proud or amazed by him. Or, as it seemed, when he was being sweet. Murphy grinned. He was man enough to not be fazed by being called sweet.

"But you also look troubled." Emori sat down on his other side, not daring to disturb Ryder. She started petting his soft and fortunately still dark hair - Murphy constantly gave Bellamy shit for the grey spots on his head and beard, he couldn‘t develop them just now. „What is it?“

„Aw, nothing really.“ Murphy closed his eyes and enjoyed his wife scratching his scalp. „It‘s just Lex new friend.“  
„I met her the other day. She seems friendly enough but,“ Emori stopped as if searching for the word „sad.“

Murphy thought that sad fit her way better than friendly. She seemed alright when he saw her with Lex, but every time he spotted her alone somewhere there was trouble following her. Murphy had asked Levitt about Lola, not really friends with any of the Bardoans except him.  
Levitt had told him that Lola had no parents. She was born like all kids in Bardo had been born. She was a test tube baby. Not the last one that had been born but the youngest they were able to bring to Sanctum - sometimes Murphy was contemplating with himself if it was morally right to have left the other ones behind, but Bardo had never been his fight to fight. 

Leaving the rest of the people and their crazy cult leader behind instead of repeating their failure from Mount Weather, had been Clarkes decision.   
Bellamys, Octavias, Echos. Levitts. 

Just today he had seen Lola without Lex, who had stayed home to help Emori with his little siblings, as neither of their friends had time to come and help out, while Murphy had to serve in the Tavern the whole day. Luckily Niylah had been able to take over early into the evening. She took over a lot for him, always ushering him out to spend time with his kids.

Lola had been screaming at her caretaker, a Bardoan woman, who he never really talked to. Lola had been full of anger, emotion radiated out of every pore. Murphy had stood in the open door, watching her, just like a dozen other people outside did.  
“What are you looking at?”, Lola had roared like a wounding lioness, “I hate you! I hate you all.”

“She is troubled,“ Murphy murmured, not noticing that Emori had just used the same word on him. If she thought he looked troubled now thinking about the angry girl his oldest might or might not have the hots for - still way too young for that shit in his eyes - she should have known him when he was Lolas age, full of wounded anger and scared to ever love again. Choosing to set the Chamber of the Guardsman, who helped floating his father, on fire. 

Yeah, that was troubled, not sitting on a sofa, cuddling his newest baby and his ugly (special!) mutt, a frown on his face but his heart warm and full.

12 Years after the Massacre of Sanctum

When Jordan was reelected Murphy understood the look in Hopes eyes like no other. He’d been there too. Over the moon proud of the person you adored the most but also worried because, well it was scary if the one you loved that much was responsible for this freaking moon. For probably half the rest of the human race. If Jordan fucked this up, they were all doomed. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Hope asked, annoyed at him staring at her from the corner of his eyes. Her little daughter Maya held her hand as she looked full of awe at her father in front of the crowd.   
“Just your usual resting bitch face,” Murphy mumbled, winking at her, when she just rolled her eyes. But then they stood quietly next to each other as Jordan held a speach about the future of Sanctum getting brighter each and every day because all of them were working so hard for it. Murphy liked the speech. It was awesome, but he heard it before when Jordan wrote it with Emori, while Murphy was cooking dinner for his horde. 

“It will turn out just fine,” Murphy mumbled, when Hope looked particulary strained, while Jordan talked about the dangers beyond this moon and what that might mean for them and the future of Sanctum. For now they were all survivors, settlers at the most. It might take decades for them to be explorers again. This generation was much to wounded by the terror of war and the doom of their home planet to go traverse the universe. 

“I wanted him to lose, Murphy,” she said quietly, when Jordan finished his speech and people went up to congratulate him.   
“You did?”  
She nodded and picked her daughter up to settle her on her hip. Maya snuggled against her side but grinned up at Murphy.   
“I wanted daddy to win.”  
“Wanna know a secret, kid?” He asked and she nodded enthusiastic. So Murphy whispered: “I wanted him to win too.”  
“Mommy wants to travel.”

Murphy watched her, searching for answers in Hopes eyes, but she only caressed her daughters head.   
“We are going to travel, sweet pea. Daddy and me are going to show you the planet.”  
Maya put her little thumb in her mouth. “But I got’s lotta friends here.”   
“I know you do.” Hope kissed Mayas cheek. “We will once you and daddy are ready.”  
“Jap, that’s a good idea, mommy.” 

Murphy grinned. She was a sweet girl. A really good friend of his own daughter Harmony, too.   
“What if they are never ready?” Murphy asked.   
“Chill, Murphy,” Hope once again rolled her eyes. “I love them more.”  
“But sometimes it’s hard to stay, I get that.” Before Sanctum and the home he built here, he never cared enough to stay anywhere. He never felt like he really belonged. Home was a person, not a place and he’d follow Emori everywhere. Yet, Sanctum felt like it fit him. He was glad Emori felt the same way. To roam the woods and find a cave to spent a night - just for old times sake - was enough for them. Gladly their friends were always ready to watch their horde of wild kids. 

“You don’t understand, Murphy.” Hope craddled her sleepy daughter against her shoulder. She even smiled softly, it made her look gentle and motherly. It was unusal. Normally she was all raw edges and punky behaviour. 

But Murphy understood. He didn’t say a word, because Hope clearly didn’t want him to. She just turned and walked away, over to her husband to support him, even if she wanted to be somewhere else more than anything. 

Murphy never wanted Emori to lose, not even that first time. He thought she shouldn’t need to do that but right from the start he saw how awesome she was. Being chancellor was good for her. She gave humanity something worthwhile. Emori found out how much she mattered. How freaking important she was. He’d known all along. 

— —

Murphy couldn’t get Hope out of his head. He saw himself in her sometimes and even if she was older than him - time dilation was still freaking him out - she felt like on of those many kids he wanted to protect. Murphy came to accept that he was just like this. 

He was suprised though, that apparently Hope also had problems to let go. Most of the time when they talked to each other, she seemed to not care about what he had to say. Jordan was different. True, he was much more interested in Emoris council than his, but Murphy felt how Jordan trusted them both. Still, three years, after becoming the chancellor of this moon, Jordan came to their house to talk about plans, strategies and decisions. 

Murphy understood that Jordan hadn’t Hope as an advisor, the way Emori had him. In the darkness of their bedroom Murphy had been honest with his thoughts and opinions. Maybe it was his judgement she trusted the most. It was a strange thought when he remembered the kid he had been once, pissing on people and getting them to build a wall. But he changed. He changed so much and even if he wasn’t always comfortable with showing it, he cared like crazy about this moon and it’s inhibitants. 

Hope wore a beanie on her head full of short blond hair. It was a rare cold early summer evening in Sanctum. Murphy liked them. He sat outside on his porch, a blanket around his shoulders and Theo in his arm. The kid looked up at him with half lidded eyes, just on the brink of sleep but fighting it off to be awake a bit longer. Theo was half a year now, he loved to be near his parents. Sometimes he lay with them, making sweet and soft little sounds, while watching their faces and playing with their fingers. It was sweet as hell. 

“Hi, Murphy,” Hope said and took the steps to his porch. She sat down in the stool next to his. Emori was in the bathtub, enjoying the warm water, the sweet scent of her flowery shampoo and the quiet, while all the kids, exept Theo, were asleep.   
“What’s up, Hope?” he asked, while softly rocking his baby boy to sleep.   
“It was okay. I thought it was, but then Maya wanted to plant a flower bed. We started but then it hit me all over again.”

Hope watched him tide Theo over to the land of dreams with little rocking motions and a humming sound of a song he remembered from long long ago.   
“Do you remember your parents, Murphy?”  
“Sure I do,” he answered. “I was a teenager when they died.”  
“How?”

Murphy let his gaze wander to the horizon. It wasn’t yet fully dark. Both red sun of Sanctum were almost sunken behind the moons rim. They tinted the sky in a deep crimson.   
“Mom drunk herself to death a couple of years after my father got floated for stealing medicine when I was sick.”  
“Oh,” Hope made. Murphy felt her watching him. She didn’t say a word, so he did: “I get it, kid. You never recover from that. But you are not responsible. They died to safe us.” Murphy looked down to his baby son. He caressed Theos little cheek and his hairy ears. 

“And come on, Hope. As if you don’t understand them now.” He nodded to his sleeping son. “Protecting your kids, that’s what parents do. You keep them safe, whatever it takes.”  
“Whatever it takes,” Hope whispered to the soft summer wind. Murphy hoped, that wherever Diyoza was, wherever his parents where, that they knew: them dying won’t ever be okay, really. You never get used to the idea of someone being gone. But Murphy hoped that they knew that their children finally understood, once they felt how the birth of their own babies really changed everything. Whatever it takes, Murphy thought and looked up to a starless sky.


	16. You're off to Great Places!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys,
> 
> Here you go: A sweet, sad (angsty?) family chapter coming your way.

12 Years and 3 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum

From the middle of June to the end of August the kids didn‘t have to go to school. The summer was usually hot on Sanctum. Thankfully there was enough rain, because they got quite a few Thunderstorms. Never enough to actually destroy any houses but enough to keep the fields wet enough and the air impossibly humid on days. It was quite different from the desert in fact, where the nights were cold and the days hot and dry. 

The kids liked the summer, thankfully. They spent days at the beach or by the creek in the woods, swimming, snorkeling even and surving. They loved to jump from the cliffs into the ocean and to just lay in the sun and rest. Most of his kids had darker skin by nature but those that didn‘t looked very sweet after they had been kissed by the sun. 

Lex had freckles all over his fair skinned face, Hatchs arms were almost brown due to all the freckled spots there and Harmony, four by now and very much in live with the ocean, turned brown all over. Only her hair got lighter, brown turned a dark shade of golden, by the time summer break was over and her older siblings had to go back to school. Kids started the year they turned five, so for Jerry it was the first year. He was exited, even if his older siblings all had their own opinions about school. Lex loved school, he was a pretty clever guy. Everything came easily to him. He was fast at learning maths and reading. His only fault was his bad handwriting, that only him and Bellamy seemed to deciffer. 

Olive was a little genius, almost like Raven must‘ve been in school, Murphy supposed. Or like Monty, minus the weed. Olive was able to read even before she was in the first year, having leant effortlessly with Lex the year prior. She loved sciene, but she was pretty quiet about it - books being her favorite choice of learning. Otan was well-behaved in school, but he was more of a hands-on guy. He didn‘t like reading and writing, but maths were pretty okay and whenever they did something technical or anything that had to do with woodwork he loved to go to school. 

Gail was a little firecracker. She was loud and she loved to talk, even when it wasn‘t her turn. She equally devided her attention on all her classmates and the teacher. Whenever some topic was interesting to her, she always had her hand up but her mouth went ahead of herself. Gail got scolded a lot for it, but she was a little social butterfly, so she wasn‘t worrying about it much. Murphy worried sometimes, when he saw how she was while doing her homework. She was able to split her attention to many things and her way of thinking was fast and clever but she made a lot of mistakes, because she wasn‘t fully into one task before going on to the next. Gail definitly made up for that by her outgoing nature and the awesome grades she received on anything creative. When she was drawing she was quiet, as if the image she created was capturing her in whole. 

Jerry was the exact opposite. He was quiet and well-behaved in school, more so than at home were he often got in trouble with Hatch. They were some little devils, always destroying Jacksons roses just like their older brothers had. They also learned a lot by watching Lex playing pranks and Gail throwing knives. But in school, without his younger brother by his side, Jerry felt a bit lost. He made some friends but he was always pretty quiet. Murphy thought it would be good for him that Hatch would go to school now to. 

There were a lot more kids by now than years before when the school reopened after the massacre but still some classes were not divided by age as much as it had been done on earth before the apocalypse. 

So Murphy really looked forward to the new schoolyear, up until some day - a couple of weeks after the summer was over - Hatch threw his backpack to an empty corner of the kitchen and plopped down at the table. The other kids seemed to know about his mood and scurried off to their rooms, just hollering some greetings to their dad. 

„What‘s wrong, kid?“ Murphy, stirring tomato sauce in a pot, turned to look at his five year old.   
„I hate school!“ Hatch burried his head in his arms. Murphy just rolled his eyes by the sound his kids forehead made on the wooden table. Dramatic much. 

„Why do you hate school?“ he asked dutifully. Hatch had never complained before. As far as Murphy knew school had been okay for now. Hatch didn‘t loved to go like Olive but he never said he hated it until today. Not that Murphy didn‘t get him. He had hated school right from the start. 

Being the dumb kid who couldn‘t get his letters right had not been a fun experience. His father tried to help and for a while he gotten by okay. He had enough tricks on his sleeve to concentrate on the words and to sound them out in his head. But after his father died he totally stopped working on them. It was no use either way. 

He had been in a pretty bad place when he came to the ground, not even able to properly write an easy word like die right. Murphy was glad he had been able to find coping mechanism again while Bellamy taught Emori how to read on the Ring. Murphy had been jealous and amazed at the same time by how fast she was able to read books on her own and write notes as if she never had done anything else. She was the one who noticed his lack of ability in fact and she had almost bullied him and Bellamy into working with each other. 

Maybe on the Ring Bellamy had laid the foundations of being what he was today - a teacher. The head-teacher of Sanctum in fact. By now a team of five teachers was teaching at the school, Madi among them. 

„Just hate it“, Hatch said, but before Murphy could respond he jumped of the stool, grabbed the soccer ball by the door and went out. Murphy heard him kicking the ball against the concret of their outside wall. He raised an eyebrow. Hatch was truly his son, kicking a ball was still, even after all this time, some of his coping mechanism to sooth his rage after a bad day. It was his kind of meditation. But either way, Murphy had to talk to Bellamy. Maybe. 

And that‘s what he did, when Hatchs mood after school wasn’t improving. The kicking of the soccer ball against the outside of the kitchen wall was a sound Murphy almost grew used to while cooking lunch for his kids. But him and Emori got more worried every day. It wasn’t healthy for Hatch to hate school and not tell them why. So just right after putting the little ones to bed, Murphy kissed Emori and made his way over the fields to Bellamys and Echos house. Both sat on the porch, their boys already asleep too. 

„Hey Murph“, Bellamy greeted, while Echo stood to embrace him. She was heavily pregnant and soft all over. Her long hair was rocking in the almost cold wind. It was never really cold in Sanctum, frost was a rare occurence, so even in the approching winter the weather was okay to sit outside, covered in thick clothes. 

Echo wore one of Bellamys big wollen cardigans. She looked so soft. Murphy was glad she had been able to heal.   
„You want tea?“ Bellamy, the old nerd, asked but Murphy just casually plopped down onto the wooden chair and said: „Nah, wanna know why my boy hates school.“

„Which one?“ Bellamy asked and Murphy rolled his eyes.   
„Some teach you are“, he said, almost vile but definitly accusingly.   
„What the hell?“ Bellamys voice was raised. He had a frown on his face. 

„Cut it out, both of you“, Echo ordered. She knew how heated their arguments gotten back on the Ark. Peace had made them softer, their brotherhood easier but every once in a while it only took a few misplaced words to get them to remember they once butted heads every chance they got. 

„What‘s wrong, man?“ Bellamy asked, Echos reminder to be civil more than welcome.   
„Hatch hates school. He‘s in a mood, you can‘t imagine.“  
Bellamy raised his eyebrow and shared a knowing glance with his wife.   
„Oh, I think I can.“

„Float yourself, Bell“, Murphy said, but he leaned back into the rest of the wooden chair and huffed, almost amused. Bellamy gave as good as he got. Murphy liked that they were toe to toe by now. He still remembered the times - the first days on earth, the first days on the Ring, the first days on Sanctum - when it hadn‘t been that way. Bellamy hadn‘t always seen him as equal. It was good to know he did now.   
"I don't teach in the little ones classes", Bellamy offered as an explanation. "Madi and Sarah do." 

Sarah was a young Sanctumite woman, Murphy only knew her briefly for when she was in the tavern with her friends or from around town. He hadn't thought to ask Madi, but she would certainly be the next he would visit, if she was the one to help him find out what was wrong with Hatch and school. 

"Who teaches Hatch?"  
"Depends? You know which classes he doesn't like?" Bellamy asked, while Echo stood up to go into the kitchen. Murphy heard her tinkering with the tea kettle.   
"Kid says he hates school."  
"Like in general?"

"I don't know, okay?" Murphy sighed. "He's not telling me." Whenever Murphy or Emori tried to get him to talk about why he didn't like to go to school, he shut down. He never complained in the mornings, but his mood every afternoon was cloudy. Hatch had been a happy kid until now, he was loud and lots of fun. Murphy liked his feisty nature, but in the past weeks it made way for something else. Murphy knew the reasons for why he didn't like to go to school were boiling on the inside of his little boy and maybe soon, he would explode, but Murphy liked to be prepared. Or to help his kid, before he hurt himself. 

"Some kids don't like school, Murph. It's not unusal," Bellamy tried to console him. "It's something compleatly new for them and we start 'em young."

"I just don't want him to grow up angry, man," Murphy offered, while Echo made her way back outside. She filled cups with hot water and mint leaves. In the faint shimmer of the porch light it almost looked like Montys algae. God, Murphy missed him. Monty was always such a nerd. He'd sure have an opinion here and maybe some advice, having been a father himself. 

Sometimes Murphy wondered how Monty and Harper had done it. Only themselves and Jordan. Murphy and Emori loved to be parents. Their kids were the most important part of their life and they took care of them with all they got, but one thing Murphy had to learn over the years was certainly, that it took a village to raise them. 

Human beings weren't meant to be alone. They strived by being part of something greater. Murphy wanted each of his kids to have the best groundwork to build their future within this society. School was a big part of that, he was sure. And Emori believed that education enabled human beings to fullfill their potential. She had certainly thrived by being educated by Bellamy, Monty and Raven on the Ring.   
"I'll talk to Sarah and Madi. I'm certain we'll get to the core of this," Bellamy promised. 

But it took weeks until they did. Madi only taught classes that were fun, as she put it. Nature Science, Sports, Arts. Sarah, who did the other classes for the little ones, at first had no clue, but she promised Bellamy to keep an eye on it. It was almost Christmas break, when she asked Murphy and Emori to come to school and bring Hatch. Bellamy sat in the empty classroom too, looking worried, but smiled encouragly either way. Murphy knew that look from when Bellamy first tried to help him on the Ring. 

"Hi Hatch," he said and pushed some work sheet up to him. "Please put your name on it, first."  
"Don't wanna," Hatch complained. "It's not time for class."   
"No, it's not. But we need you to do it now, can you buddy?" Sarah said, smiling too.   
"Not your buddy. Don't wanna. Can we go home, daddy?" Hatch looked up to him. His eyes were glassy and Murphy was almost ready to give in. But he needed to stay strong for his boy so he shook his head no. 

"Come on, big boy. Start with your name on the sheet," Bellamy said. "I know you can do it." Hatch took the pen and slowly wrote his name in captial letters. It looked scruffy but Murphy knew his own handwriting was bad to, even when he got the letters right. Not everyone wrote letters like art.   
"Good Job," Emori complimented next to him. 

"Every doofus can write their names," Hatch grumbled. "Am I ready now?"  
"Not yet. Please write the letters of the ABC now," Bellamy asked.   
Hatch grabbed the pen even harder, Murphy was almost scared he would break it. The tip shook on the paper by how hard Hatch pressed while he wrote the first letters, slow and as scruffy as his name. He only got until the P, before stopping and throwing the pen to the side. Most of his letters were upside down or in the wrong order. Some where not at all recognizable. 

Murphy knew his older kids had been way ahead half a year after starting school. He bit his lip, as Bellamy tried to sooth Hatch.   
"You did well. Enough writing for today, okay kid? Let's try to solve some maths puzzles, okay?"

"Do I have to?" Hatch asked but once again took the pen and the new worksheet Bellamy gave him. Murphy stole a glance. Those were easy calculations, but Murphy was proud all the same, when Hatch quickly wrote the correct answers down. His numbers were scruffy too, just like his letters, but all his answers were correct. 

"You did great!", Emori said, kissing her sons tousled hair. Hatch looked to his dad seeking approval and Murphy gave it by nodding. "Awesome, sweet boy."  
"Your parents are right! You did wonderful," Sarah said, but Bellamy still looked worried. 

"I have one last task for today," he said and retrieved a childrens book out of his bag.   
"Let's read a bit together. Please come over here and sit next to me?"  
"I don't wanna. I'm tired. Can we go home, mommy?" 

"Not yet," Emori said, once again kissing her little boy, this time on the cheek. She smiled sadly over his head to Murphy, before looking back to their son and continued "Please go over and read a bit with Bellamy, yeah? I'm so proud of you, baby." 

Hatch slipped grungingly from his chair, while Murphy raised an eyebrow, looking at his wife. It seemed like she knew something he didn't. Murphy once again looked at the worksheets his son just filled out, trying to find out, what Emori already seemed to know. Hatch did good at his calculation. Yes, his letters needed improvement but he wasn't bad at all. He was clever, just needed more exersize, that was all, right? 

"Let me start," Bellamy said and began to read the first paragraph: „Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! Now you, Hatch."

And Hatch tried. He tried to sound out the letters of the first word, then he stopped, looking down at the book, a minute long and then another, before he looked up. Angry and with unshed tears in his blue eyes. 

"I can't," he whined. "I'm to dumb for this!"  
"No", Murphy said and stood up. He went over and grabbed under Hatch armpits to raise him up into his embrace. "You're no dumb, sweet boy." 

"But everyone can do it!" Now Hatch was crying into his shoulder. Murphy looked over his kids head to Emori who was caressing their sons back, whispering sweet nothings at him. Sarah was silent, she had done her part. The rest was a family matter, so she retreated to the back of the room, only observing to better help the next struggeling student. 

"Bell," Murphy said. "Is it the same as with me?"  
"Yes. I think it is."  
Murphy nodded, kissing his sons head. Well, how was a learning disabillity different from a special spot? It wasn‘t. Murphy was glad. Dislexity was something they could work with. It certainly was.   
„Listen, baby. Just like daddy,“ Emori said.   
„No,“ Hatch whined, arms thrown around his fathers neck. „Daddy is not dumb. He reads us books all the time!“

„I‘m slower than mommy through, aren‘t I?“ Murphy asked. He felt Hatch nodding against his neck. His kids surely noticed how he had to sound out words sometimes, how he stopped between paragraphs. 

„I‘m struggeling too,“ Murphy offered.   
„Right, but we can help you, buddy. I helped your dad too.“  
Hatch slowly lifted his head from Murphys shoulder. 

„You really did, Uncle Bell?“  
„Of course I did. We‘ll work on it all, yeah? I bet your dad is gonna help too.“  
Murphy catched his sons hopeful gaze and nodded.   
„Yeah, absolutly.“

„You gonna be reading books in no time, baby.“ Emori kissed both their cheeks and mouthed a „thank you“ to Bellamy.   
„Honestly, mommy?“ Emori nodded. She laid an arm across Murphys hip and her badass hand rested against their sons back. They were glad to know why Hatch had trouble liking school. It must have been hard for him to struggle so bad. 

„It will take a lot of effort,“ Bellamy said. „But I‘m sure you‘ll make it! Just like your mom and dad.“ 

12 Years and 11 Months after fhe Massacre of Sanctum 

Gail was almost ten when she started to develop an interest for grounder culture. Gaia often told stories about old myths to the kids. They liked it. Most of it sounded like adventures from a different world. Gaia always made sure go keep it kid-friendly. Lot‘s of kids liked to learn Trig. It was like a secret language, only that it wasn‘t so secret at all, since nobody was stopping the kids without grounder heritage to learn it. Bellamy and Madi even taught them all in school. 

Gail loved it. She often sung songs in Trig, loud and happy. But the thing she liked the most about grounders were the weapons. The fightings. It was almost scary, how amazed his little daughter was by the great history of grounder warriors. 

„I wanna be one, too,“ she told her father some evening. She cuddled her floopy plush bunny and grinned up at him. Her pink pyjama not fitting her declaration.   
„There‘s no war to fight,“ Murphy said softly. They weren‘t really in need for warriors anymore. He had never been one. Murphy wasn‘t really comfortable with his daughters wishes to learn fighting. 

„Don‘t be a doofus. I don‘t wanna fight in a war, daddy,“ she said, still grinning up at him. She knew all the kid-frindly variations of the wars the grounder fought. Her favorite was the one against the skypeople. She loved how in the end they all made peace and flew across the stars.   
„Don‘t say doofus.“

„Sorry,“ she said, not sorry at all. Murphy shook his head. It was almost scary how much her loopsided grin resembled his.   
„You‘re unbelievable.“ And she was. Of course Murphy never forbid her to visit Indra. He even tagged along more often than before. His daughter was extraordinarly good at throwing knives. She hit dead center way more often than him, having trained for over a year now. He had never been this good at it. 

„She‘s really good,“ Octavia complimented. She stood next to him, off to the side while Gail threw two knives at once. One hitting the center again, the other hit the hay bag mans head. Just like she planned, it seemed. 

„She wants to be a warrior,“ Murphy sighed, making Octavia laugh.   
„Indra is a good teacher for that.“  
„Don‘t get me wrong, I trust Indra,“ Murphy said, all torture and making bio warfare out of him long forgotten. „But …“  
„But she‘s your little girl.“ Octavia laughed. She had a nice laugh, soft and warm. „Bellamy hated when I started to play with a sword.“  
„God, he was overbearing back then.“ 

Murphy grinned, still looking at his daughter. Now she had two knives in one hand, throwing both at the same time. It was freaky, how they hit the eyes of the hay bag man. Poor guy. 

„Good,“ Indra said, motioning for Octavia to come over. She just shrugged her shoulders at Murphys raised eyebrow and approched her old teacher. 

„Let‘s fight,“ Indra said, presenting her a sword. Octavia nodded. They often trained together for fun. A warrior didn‘t need a war. That was a lesson well learned. Octavia was sure, she would never lose her warriors heart. Murphy just feared his daughter had such a heart too. 

He made his way over to Gail either way. She was beaming at Octavia and Indra, before looking up at her father.   
„I wanna learn that, too,“ she said and Murphy nodded.   
„If they‘ll teach you, you can,“ he offered. 

„For real?“   
„Don‘t scream.“ Murphy put a hand on her shoulder, directing her gaze back to the fight. Murphy believed in peace with all his heart but it never hurt to know how to protect yourself, right? Why should he forbid Gail to dive into her origin? He might be her father but that wasn‘t his choice to make. 

It was Octavia who taught Gail how to fight with a sword. The almost ten year old was talented. It took only days for her to develop the right stance, to hold the sword in the right way and she thrived in mock combat. Murphy had never before seen her that calm, not even while drawing or when he whispered sweet nothings to her. 

She was totally concentrated in her fight, in her training, always listening to Octavias instructions. It was breathtaking to see his little loud girl like that. She looked beautiful and not little at all. She was growing up to fast. 

„Did you have fun?“ Murphy asked her on the way back home. Gails eyes glistened when she looked up at him.   
„The most!“ she cheered, sounding just like his little girl again. 

It was Echo who taught her next. Gail was just as talented with a bow and an arrow, very soon hitting the center from meters away. She was quiet, concentrated while aiming, she watched Echo shooting arrows while moving, with amazement. Murphy just didn‘t recognize his little daughter while she was quietly watching, aiming, shooting. 

Only when the training was over and they were on their way home, she was her talkactive self again. 

„Did you see me hitting the center, daddy? It had been 6 meters! The farthest by now! Did you see? Did you?“  
„Yes, of course I saw. You‘re awesome!“  
„Oh yes I am! But did you see what Echo did? It was amazing! Do you think I can learn that too? Do you?“

Murphy laughed. He loved his loud daughter. She was almost never shuting up, when they made their way home from her training. Murphy was only able to come once a week, all her siblings needed attention too, but she was totally relishing in the one on one time with him and Murphy was unbelievable proud of her and the progress she was making. 

When Murphy and Gail came home Emori already had dinner ready and all the kids hurried to the big table in the kitchen. Emori still wasn‘t the best cook and in fact she didn‘t like it very much but over the years she had found ways to feed her horde. Mashed Potatoes, fried eggs and some heated vegetables was the epitome of what she was able to make. 

„You cooked,“ Murphy beamed either way, going around the table to kiss his wife. She looked hot with her hair done up and an apron around her waist. A shame it wasn‘t yet bedtime. 

„Hope we gonna survive this,“ Otis teased. He was a sweet kid, but Emoris first cooking attempts a few weeks ago had seemingly scarred him for life. Murphy thought he was exhilarating. In fact his kids were spoiled as hell. Murphy was a really good cook by now, he liked to do it and he had a talent for it. Which was good, since he was cooking tons of food for the tavern daily. People mostly came to get drunk or spent a day among friends, but more and more people told him, they also come for the food. There were easy things like the fried potato sticks that people loved, but also dishes that needed hours of cooking like his trademark stew. 

„It‘s good Emori,“ Murphy said after tasting the dinner. The vegetables were a bit to mushy and the mashed potatoes to salty but she meant well and it was way better than months ago. 

„My egg is yucky,“ Jerry said, pocking the clear white of his fried egg. It might have needed a minute or two more at least.   
„Wanna share mine?“ Gail asked. She wasn‘t known for sharing things she really liked, but her egg seemed to be pretty burned in the place she cut for her little brother. Murphy laughed, sudden and loud. Emori was a terrible cook but other than their brute he cherished her food either way. 

Regardless of his own skills he wasn‘t a picky eater. Almost twenty-five years of rationed food, hunger and algae made him this way. Murphy loved cooking, he loved good food but he loved Emori even more. He would gladly eat her burned meat and soggy noodles forthe rest of his life. It was the effort that counted. 

„For real, mom. Did you put the whole bag of salt in it?“ Lex made a disgusted face, grabbing for his glass of water. He downed it in one gulp.   
„Be nice,“ Murphy chided his oldest.   
„Lex is right. It‘s awful, mom!“ Hatch grabbed for his napkin, rubbing it over his tongue. Gail made a gagging noise. What dramatic little shits. 

„C‘mon kids, tell her nicely, yeah?“ Murphy winked at Emori. She wasn‘t fazed much by her childrens complaint. Emori was comfortable with being an awful cook. In the dark of their bedroom she even told him, that their reactions humored her. Murphy saw her supressing a slight grin. She would never oversalt the food on purpose - she knew hunger to well too let it go to waste if not by accident. But she found great delight in how her kids complaint. 

„They are so spoilt,“ she had told him days ago, after her last cooking attempt and their kids only eating enough of the dry chicken legs and burned rice to be allowed to stuff their faces with Murphys pastries afterwards. 

„Yeah,“ Murphy had said. He wasn‘t sorry about it, but she was right.   
„It‘s awesome.“ Emori had grinned, before she kissed him. Murphy was more than thankful, that his kids had the chance to grew up in a world that gave their parents the possibility to spoil them rotten with cuddles and sweet pies.


	17. A shimmer of gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

13 Years and 1 Month after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Murphy was sure that by fourteen Lola was smoking herbs. Much too often he saw her sitting next to Lex on the steps of the front porch (for whatever reason, unlike all other friends of his kids, she still hasn‘t made it further into their home) with dazed eyes and a slightly slurred speech. 

At least Lex looked normal, so Murphy let it slide again. She wasn‘t his kid. Nonetheless he sat at the kitchen table one summer night, window open letting in the hot evening breeze and the whispers of Lex and Lola, thinking about that girl his oldest spent nearly all his freetime with.

He was certain on the Ark she‘d have been a Delinquent, but he wondered if she‘d have died the very first week on the ground, reckless and self-destructive as she was, or if she would have outlived them all. What he didn‘t wonder about was that she would certainly have protected Lex. 

They were friends now for almost two years, but she’d hardly talked to him or Emori in that time, always choosing to stay silent or running off in a dire need to get home on time. Other days, when they left both of them alone, she didn’t seem to have a curfew. 

Lola was a troublemaker, she was lying and she was angry whenever Murphy spotted her in the company of one of her caretakers. He had talked with Levitt and Octavia once again, contemplating if he should seek out a discussion with Lolas Guardians, but Levitt told him they weren’t bad people and Lola wasn’t hurt because they hurt her. Levitt told him that some of his people felt more, like he did, some felt less, like Lolas caretakers did and then there were people like Lola, rare but existing: radiating emotion out of every pore of her being.

“So, you wanna have Ice-Cream or what?” Murphy said, leaning against the house's door frame. The kids outside had looked in his direction when he opened the door, Lex's eyes still full of natural trust, Lolas face was even more open today - thanks to being on herbs probably - and she looked at him full of annoyance at being disturbed. But behind that annoyance was a longing, Murphy thought.

“Now?”, Lex exclaimed. It was already ten minutes past his usual bedtime for weekends, his little siblings already gone to sleep. Emori was breastfeeding Theo in their bedroom. She felt more comfortable doing it lying down. Murphy told her he’s got Lex to go to bed, but that was almost an hour ago and he just didn’t want to split up the kids' talk outside.

“I don’t know what you are up to, but I’m going to get Ice-Cream now.” Murphy grinned. His son made a triumphant little noise, got to his feet and came to a stop in front of Lola, who was looking the other way. Murphy would‘ve liked to know if there was still annoyance in her eyes, or anger, was there really longing?

“Can she have some too, dad?”  
Lola was shaking her head at him.  
“I need to go …”  
“Come on, Lolz. It’s not like they care if you’re home on time.” Lex looked over, to his dad, gaze hopeful to not be disappointed. “We can eat it outside, Lola and me, right dad?”

“Come on, both of you. Get your bowls and then you can sit outside again, no problem at all.” Murphy knew it took a long time to earn trust, but he would do it. For Lex sake. And for Lolas. He knew Monty would probably disagree, but fourteen was way too young to smoke herbs.

13 Years and 6 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum   
  
They were celebrating Christmas for years now. The former prisoners of the Eligius Ship knew the most about the holiday. They were from a time when Christmas was still celebrated by the whole of the christian population. They even knew a story of a baby born thousands of years ago in a crib in the middle of the desert. Murphy quite liked the story and the little wooden model cribs the former prisoners build a couple of years ago to put it under the pine trees they cultivated for the feast. 

They also build little wooden ornaments and glass trinkets to hang on the tree. It was colorful and nice and the kids loved it.   
One of the Sanctumite woman even wrote the old christmas story down. Raven found a way to duplicate papers so by now they were able to print issues of books for families to keep at home instead of only sharing them from the library. 

Tonight was christmas eve and the kids sat around the three, fingers sticky from christmas cookies they made a couple days ago. The fire crackled in the fireplace and the flames were reflected in the colorful glass ornaments on the tree next to it. Emori was reading the story of the baby born thousands of years ago and millions of lightyears away. The kids listened, engrossed in Emoris soft reading voice and the hot chocolate in front of them. 

It was peaceful and nice. The night was cold outside even if it never snowed on Sanctum. There was frost on the grass and mist in the air. There was a warm yellow light behind the windows of every house. Families were together to celebrate the holiday with food and lights and presents. Like every year, it felt like a shimmer of gold settled over Sanctum, to soak the houses with warmth. Murphy felt warm, he felt loved, listening to Emoris beautiful voice, surrounded by his lovely children. 

Murphy still remembered before. He had never felt warm, not in the desert. Not in the halls of Polis, not even in Beccas Mansion where the heating still worked and they showered with warm water. There had always been a cold beneath his bones, a chill that never quite vanished, regardless of how hot it was outside. But on Sanctum, after the massacre he slowly started to warm up. His body got rid of that strange chill. Now Murphy seldom felt it settle back beneath his bones. 

Of course there were times he worried, about his kids, about the future and what they all had to loose. But it was easy to warm up again, hearing his kids laugh or seeing them peacefully asleep at night. 

Murphy thought about before often. He still remembered the terror in his bones, the cold and the blood. He still remembered how his body felt exhausted from the lack of sleep, malnourished from hunger and scared to death. He remembered running from one threath and then another. They were never able to stop and take a breath exept for the time on the Ring. 

Murphy still couldn‘t quite make out, why he disappeard on the others. There was no excuse for punishing Emori for being part of something bigger than themselves. She done right. And maybe that had been the problem. She done alright without him and he needed to be needed. He still did. Murphy didn‘t need to be a hero, not really. That was were Emori and Bellamy were wrong. But he couldn‘t cope with being useless. 

On the Ring he felt useless. He had no tasks, no responsibilitys and suddenly his newfound family hadn‘t felt like one anymore. It was almost like the first days in Arkadia, back when Bellamy still hated him and Raven wanted to give him to the grounders in exchange for Finns safety. 

Maybe his fear of not being needed, of not being of any use in a world that was to peaceful to make use of his stealth and strange heroism played a part in getting so many children. Murphy was sure - as he could be - that they would always need him. There would always be one kid, asking for cuddles, for his opinion, his help - hell, one day they would ask him to watch the grandkids and he was damn fine with it. 

Murphy hugged Theo close. The toddler was sleepy from Emoris story and not participating in the fuss the other kids were making while unwrapping their presents like the savage children they were at heart.   
„Look, Theo. You got a present from Santa too,“ Emori coed, kneeling in front of them and offering the little guy a soft and wrinkly wrapped gift.   
„You help?“ Theo asked sleepy. He just started talking more inmately a couple of weeks ago but his words were oft still mumbled and mismatched. But they did alright, naturally with as much excersize they had in the past decade and more. 

„Sure we help you, little man.“ Murphy teared at the paper, while Emori still held the present.   
„Look, Theo. It‘s a plushy,“ she said. „What plushy is it?“ Murphy grinned. He loved Emoris voice when she was coing at their kids. What a shame nobody ever coed at her. What a shame she never had a plushy.   
„Frog,“ Theo said, making Murphy grin even brighter. The plushy was green and bright eyed, but there was a soft shell on it‘s back.   
„It‘s a turtle, sweet boy. Look at it. You know turtles?“  
„Yeah,“ Theo made, hugging the plushy close. Murphy shared a glance with Emori. He winked at her, as she grinned. 

„He so doesn‘t know,“ Emori whispered in his ear, after leaning forward to press kisses against Theos and his temple.   
„No,“ Murphy laughed out loud. But who cared? They had a lifetime to teach him. 

Emori leaned against his shoulder, watching over Theos eight older siblings. They were all engrossed in their new toys and the magic of christmas eve. Murphy felt the golden glimmer of tonight warming his insides. He kissed Emoris cheek, before burrowing his nose into her soft hair. It smelled like cinnamon and pine. It smelled like home. Murphy kissed her again and wrapped an arm around her back, still watching his beautiful children. 

Murphy sighed. He would always remember the past. That chill might even be a part of him forever, reminding him that all of this was not to be taken for granted. But they got a chance for a sweet sane life and Murphy was damn set on making use of that.

13 Years and 9 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
The past months had been a whirlwind of emotions. It took a lot of Ice Cream to get Lola to sit at the freaking kitchen table. After she overcame her fear of their doorstep she became a constant in their home, but that didn‘t make it easier. She was like a freaking hurricane, roughing everything up and leaving behind a cool wake. Murphy thought that Lola had been the mirror that he and Emori had needed. 

Just because they lived in peace didn‘t mean that everyone in Sanctum had a peace of mind. Emori spoke to Jordan, who had been reelected last year, and she had been heavily involved in the planning and organizing of therapy as a general concept they should have thought about ages ago.

They built a therapy center at the hill, a few meters away from Clarkes home and Gaia's Not-Church. People went there to go to conversation groups, to do yoga classes or to the Archery Lessons Echo gave there in addition to the ones she gave for her fighting class. It had been Archery, among other things, that had helped Echo to center herself again after the Disciples of Bardo tried and almost succeeded at emptying her. 

Echo had been through it all and she had helped herself out of the terror and voidness in her mind. She, along with Jackson and a team that qualified one way or another, tried to help people overcome their trauma, after years of living with it or putting the hurt to the very back of their minds. It was painful for everyone, to dig out the memories of war, of hunger and cannibalism, of false gods and the Shepherd, and to confront their deepest sins and the parts of their past that scared them the most.

One day, Murphy stood with Lola, black long hair flowing in the wind, on Clarkes terrace. They were all over to celebrate Clarkes birthday with tea, hot chocolate and sweet and fruity cakes. He pointed to the Therapy-Center across.  
„This is thanks to you, kid.“

„Don‘t fuck with me, Murphy.“  
„Don‘t say fuck.“ Lola rolled her eyes, but she was looking ahead to the center.  
„You saying that won‘t make me go there.“  
„It‘s your choice.“

„Dolores and Hank say I shouldn‘t even go. Not take away the capacities from people who really need it. Like you.“ She looked down, not comfortable with tattling, but as usual once the words were flowing she couldn‘t stop herself. „They say you need it, Murphy. All of you from earth, but you especially. They saw it in Octavias, Ravens and Clarkes memories.“  
„Whoa, stop it, kid, relax. It‘s okay. We all go there, but there is enough time and space for anyone who needs it.“

„But you don‘t listen, Murphy. Dolores says I spent too much time at yours. She says you have your own shit to deal with.“ Murphy was sure that Lolas caretaker had definitely said it with different words. „She says that you‘re crazy and that you have been banished before.“ She was panting hard now and Murphy was absolutely sure that she needed to go to therapy. All the hurt in a little girl like that. Lolas eyes were one of the traumas Murphy had to live with. No kid should have a gaze like her. Wild, full of love and terror. „And she still always tells me to behave or you‘d banish me too!“

„Not ever gonna happen, kid,“ Murphy nodded to the door, focused on not showing how angry he was. He supposed he‘d have to visit Lolas guardians tomorrow. Again. By now he was a constant unwanted guest at their doorstep, discussing how their way of raising Lola was shit. It was a wonder the other kids who lived with them were as normal and balanced as they were.   
„Come on. I bet Lex is already missing you.“

Lola grinned, it was almost reaching her eyes. Lex was still her soft spot. Her best friend.

He followed Lola into the house and to his son who was hiding with Clarke in the kitchen, discussing pranks and stealing cake bites. Lola went up to him, grabbing his hand, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Murphy had gotten around to his dreaded second sex education talk and Emori had even asked Lola to be careful, they were both so young. Lola, red-faced but almost comfortable snacking on nuts sitting in the corner of their sofa, had taken her seriously. As far as Murphy knew, the kids hadn‘t kissed and Lex didn‘t even seem very interested in the way her mouth looked or how long and shiny her hair was, but he held her hand with a happy grin and looked at her like she hung the moon. Looked at her, like Murphy looked at Emori for the past twenty years. But still, Murphy knew, it was puppy love at most. It was sweet. And Lola needed sweet in her life.

„Gonna have a sleepover with Olive tonight, Lolz?“ Beside his son, Murphy was the only one who was allowed to use her nickname. Everyone else was regarded with a very annoyed scowl or some swear words, Murphy didn‘t approve of, when his kids said them. Yeah, maybe he had started to regard her as his kid, so what? She was good for Olive too. Olive and her best friend Sadie were joined at the hip but both where calm souls. Murphy thought, sometimes even the calmest sea needed some waves to tide over fresh water. Yeah, Murphy was a sap, but he really thought Lola brought something into their lifes they might have been missing. He just hoped he and his family could in return be what she needed to calm her terror to make room for all the love within. 

„I can?“  
„Sure. Gonna go tell Dolores now. Wouldn‘t want her to worry.“  
They all knew she wouldn‘t worry, but it was better to leave it unspoken how often he had to go over to her house to talk about the damage they did to Lola. Murphy wished he would‘ve had one good adult in his corner when he‘d been Lolas age. But he hadn‘t. 

Monty said to do better here and Murphy wanted to honor his brother on it. He would do better and kids, he‘d discovered as shit hit the fan in Sanctum back then, were his soft spot. If he could do better by them, he would. He definitely would.  


Later that evening Murphy crawled into his bed and hugged Emori from behind. He put his hand on her baby bump and started to caress her taut skin. He just brought the little kids to bed, while she had gone to get herself ready. The pregnancy wasn't hindering her much, just like the ones before didn't. But she liked to put ointment on her bump and her breast every evening. Murphy approved, she still looked as hot to him, as she had been fifteen years ago.

"How has it been going with Dolores?,“ Emori asked and laid her hand above his.  
"Like usual,“ he grumbled. For the past months he had been going to talk to Dolores and Hank almost every other week. At first it had been him trying to understand Lola and to offer his help in helping her. Her caretakers had told him, unrelenting, that she was fine, just a bit temperamental, nothing to worry about. She would get in line. After the things Lola had told him today, Murphy really asked himself, if the former Disciples really thought that there was a possibility that they would be banished, if they didn't get in line. Whatever that line was. 

He wondered if most of them even felt like they were home. Hank and Dolores had gotten one of the biggest houses they had built, since at first almost all bardoan kids they had brought along had lived with them. Dolores took care of children in Bardo, since she was a young woman and kids in Bardo didn't have mothers. 

Hank had been a teacher, taking a leap of faith, grabbed his class of six little ones and followed the open Bridge to Sanctum, where Levitt promised them a better life.  
Since then, they had lived with ten kids, Lola being the youngest and the most temperamental one, if Murphy used her Guardians words.

"One day they will understand,“ Emori said, voice hopeful. As annoyed as she was herself for the way Dolores and Hank handled Lola, they were still her people and she once swore herself to trust the People of Sanctum, no matter what background they had.

"Maybe." Murphy nuzzled her neck, pressing chaste little kisses just below her hairline. "Have you ever had one good adult in your life, `Mori?"

He felt her shifting in his arms, until she laid on her back, one hand holding her belly, the other intervening with his.  
"I had,“ she said. It was her I'm-gonna-tell-you-a-story-so-listen-closely-voice. 

"There had been a rumor going around, even before I was born, that there was an old Frikdreina in the woods, who would help anyone, that ever needed her help, as long as they had special spots." He loved that she wasn't calling it mutations anymore. They had found a nicer word to describe how special and lovable their kids were. It was the least they could do. "Otan has been on his way finding her, when he found me next to the creek." Murphy knew her story about how Otan had found Emori as a baby in a basket, almost drifting off into the river.

"Otan took me and he found her. The old Frikdreina took us in. Otan said we were the youngest unaccompanied kids who ever got to her cabin in the deepest parts of the woods. Otan had been real courageous."  
"I bet he was." Murphy stroked over her belly again, relishing in the kicks of his unborn child.

"He was. I still miss him. He wasn't my brother by blood but I've been with him, like our kids are with each other. I looked up to him, and annoyed him and he kept me warm and fed and as safe as he could, even after Oakley died and Baylis took her cabin."

"It's a nice name,“ Murphy said, tapping her belly playfully to get his kid to kick back. Emori glared at him, not really angry, but scolding.

"It's supposed to sleep too,“ she said.  
"Don't be a spoilsport,“ he said, tapping her belly again and grinning when his babe kicked. Emori just rolled her eyes and let him do as he pleased. Wasn't like he hadn't interacted with all his kids, while they were still in her belly. Murphy would never tell in public, but he even read one book about pregnancy and the development of the embryo, when Emori had first been pregnant, having stumbled upon it by accident in Josephines old office. 

The book said to interact with the unborn baby, that it could react to music, sounds, voices and also touches. He also read that it was important that the mother felt good, wasn't too stressed and ate well. At least, Murphy was glad that Emori wasn't stressed easily. She had been up and about every pregnancy but she enjoyed it, so he let it slide. 

He always took care though, that she had good and nutritious food whenever she was home and he even brought her healthy and yummy snacks to work. Murphy had always enjoyed cooking - that's why the menu in the tavern has gotten way bigger and more experimental - but he loved it the most to cook for Emori and take care of her and their kids.  


  
13 Years and 11 Months after the Massacre of Sanctum  
  
Oakley was born on a late spring day. The days almost reached their peak but the air still smelled like fresh flowers and mowed grass.

Murphy sat at Emoris bedside, his sweet little new daughter nestled in his arms. Murphy still had tears flowing over his cheeks seeing Emoris still form and her pale skin. He‘d almost lost her today. And that was just unacceptable! He stroked over his daughter's nose and her hair, which had the color of fresh honey. He was happy to hold her, content she was awake, cooing up at him. But never again. Murphy promised himself, never again would he let Emori do that. He told her they should stay below the double digits. Looking down at Oakley, at her sweet little face, the same olive toned skin as Emoris but his deep blue eyes - there were brown sprinkles in it, like nature couldn‘t decide if she shouldn‘t have Emoris eye color instead - he just couldn‘t imagine not having her. 

He loved her. Loved her like all his kids, but it pained him that the birth of his daughter almost killed the love of his life.

„You are the last one, I promise. No more. You need your mommy, right?,“ he whispered into his daughters face. „I promise, she‘ll be there for you.“

It was a promise he could give her. Emori would wake up, they just didn‘t knew when. It could be in a second, it could very well take a while, a few days even, Jackson said and Murphy just felt his heart shatter again, thinking about it. About how much Emori had bleed, how pale she was, still is as she lay there. He‘d never seen her this pale, not even when she had been sick because of radiation in that damn reactor.

Jackson had explained what happened and Murphy had listened. He understood. Understood, that it was a common complication. It happened, especially when the episiotomy tears like it happened to Emori this time. It never happened before. Emori never needed stitches and she had birthed bigger babies. She never needed his blood in childbed but he was glad he was able to give it to her. He‘d give her his all.

„You listen,“ he said to his wife and to his little daughter. „Everything. Every last liter of my blood.“

„Now that is not a survivors move,“ he heard Emoris voice, weak and very very quiet but alive. Alive.

„Hey,“ he said unintelligently. And then: „No it‘s not.“  
He put his hand on her little one. It was pale too and there was still a needle in it, providing her with pain meds and fluid.  
„Wanna see our daughter?,“ he asked, when he saw her trying to raise her head.  
„Please, John.“

„Here, look at her. Look how beautiful she is.“ Murphy laid her down next to Emoris head, steady with a hand at her backside and one against her little head.  
„Is she okay?“

„Fit as a fiddle, ‘Mori,“ he leaned over to kiss his wife's forehead and then Oakleys honey blonde down. „You protected her, momma bear. Like you always do.“  
„Oh, John,“ Emori started crying and Murphy didn‘t knew why. It wasn‘t his intention to make her cry. Not now, not ever. He just wanted to tell her how brave she was, pressing on despite the pain because Jackson told her she had to or her baby would die.

„I was so scared,“ Emori said, while he stroked her sweat soaked hair.  
„Me too,“ he admitted, grabbing his daughters right leg. It was a bit shorter then the left, but that was just her special spot. Nothing she needed protection for. Emori had given her all. Just like he would. For their babies. All of them - Ryder and Lola included. Naturally. „So scared to lose you two.“

14 Years and 1 Month after the Massacre of Sanctum 

There were a lot of concepts Murphy had to get to know anew here on Sanctum. Boredom was one of them. He wasn‘t bored often. His kids, the tavern, every little disaster kept him on his toes. He had always something to do and if he hadn‘t he could always help Emori. Even if she wasn‘t the chancellor anymore, she was always busy. 

Murphy knew he couldn‘t do boredom well. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he liked his house full of kids.   
But as a fact it were his kids that taught him a lot about being bored. Especially in the summer, when school was breaking for the hottest months. His kids had days upon days full of sun and ice cold lemonade. 

The kids like to go to the beach, they went on adventures in the woods, but the days were long and the heat made them lazy. In the summer the garden was a paradise for his lazy bunch of children and their friends. There were three hammocks spanned between big trees. In the shade of them was an assortment of blankets and cushions and bean bags. The kids liked to lounge around there. Sometimes they read books or played card, they listened to music, centuries old but much appreciated. But lots of the time the kids were only lolling around, eating tons of ice-cream and enjoying those empty days of summer. Murphy didn’t do boredom well but as he lay in the shade of the big tree in his backyard, little Oakley prone on his chest, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sun and how Emori softly played with his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts!


End file.
